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Shell
Age : 34 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Flitwick Posts : 3732
About Me! My Name: Michelle Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:01 am | |
| I don't really feel like I'm taking much notice of this pregnancy and it's making me feel really guilty. People ask me how many weeks I am and it takes me a while to think about it, with Immi i knew to the day. I've barely see mw, I missed an appointment between booking at the new drs and 24wk appointment cause I just forgot I was meant to book one. We have ideas for the baby's room but haven't done anything yet. I have a few baby clothes, haven't bought new, just Immi's old babygros (white &cream) and a few things I picked up at car boot sale. I just feel like at this time with Imogen I was all prepared. I guess I feel like I don't have the time to concentrate on this pregnancy like I did with Immi. Is this normal? or am I just a bad mummy? x |
| | | snoopy21
Join date : 2010-08-20 Posts : 5101
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:18 am | |
| Your about 4 months ahead of me but this time I know im not as excited as I was with Caitlin. I was in toys R us yday and took a quick look at prams and cots but didnt drool over them - I think its because baby will just be getting Caitlins cot (well a niece's as im keeping Caitlins cot bed). I suppose in a way its protecting yourself from wasting money too - we now know that babys dont need 30 outfits size 0-3 mths, and things dont stay clean so not much point in more than a plain baby gro alot of the time, we were prob a bit nieve 1st time round. People also buy gifts too (though iv heard you dont get so much for your 2nd.... booooo lol)
As for app's dont worry. Iv to ring and book my next one for between 16-18wks and i know if it was Caitlin id have it booked already - but this time im leaving it until im 15 wks or so to ring, I simply dont know what will be going on with Caitlin so easier to organise nearer the time!
Iv no clue about babys room. I prob wont be able to find out sex, so this time Im content that baby will be in neutral moses basket and then cot in our room for first few months and there will be plenty of time to sort room out. I may even have moved house by the time baby is 5 or 6 months so not stressing.
So yes, im more relaxed this time as A) I have Caitlin to keep me busy, B) Im more careful with money/know what to buy C) am not in so much of a panic as I have all Caitlins baby things that would do until I got something sorted...
I thought this post was going to be about feeling guilty about having another baby! Im feeling that alot atm. Like Caitlin is going to think I dont love her any more when I bring the baby home. Jesus we could find anything to worry about couldnt we!
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| | | Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:21 am | |
| scuse 1 handed typing totally normal. in yourv1st preg you can be unashamedly selfishly self indulgent as you look forward to being mummy. by your second you are already mummy and generally run so ragged you dont get timev to fart much less count weeks. dont beat yourself up for it, they wont ever know you didnt spend as much time reading pregnancy emails or choosing colour schemes and they wont care about 2nd hand clothes and toys (ive gotten awen about 4 things fr4om mummy guilt rather than her needing them otherwise shes living in c's old stuff\) as long as you love em the same once they are here...and you will xxx |
| | | XLeanneX
Age : 41 Join date : 2010-09-07 Location : Essex England Posts : 791
About Me! My Name: is Leanne Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:30 pm | |
| I agree with what the other ladies said, it wont mean you'll love the baby less when he arrives.
You are busy with Imogen, and wise to what you need and how much time you have. xx |
| | | xemplus2x
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-31 Location : wales Posts : 1731
About Me! My Name: Emma Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:43 pm | |
| yep!! normal!! Have a look back at all my posts!! lol I just wasnt as excited at all, I was but not like when I was preg with Lillie. I didnt buy hardly any clothes for her before she was born, only thing I bought new was the pushchair and that was it. Like you I would forget how many weeks I was, I wasnt excited about going to appointments or seeing the MW. suppose you just know whats comming. And I can say even now still its like it! when she 1st said mum and dada I wasnt overwhelmed like I was with Lillie, she started crawling this week again I was a little excited but not 1/2 as much with lillie. Even little things like I bought a baby book to record things with Lillie, everythign was written down and filled in... now this time I havnt got one AND iv not written things down, keep thinking I MUST WRITE THAT DOWN but I havnt I blame not having the time but thats no excuse really. Hence why I say IF I did have another def would wait till they both were in school so I could enjoy the baby days again, as feel like iv lost them this time. BUT saying all that I wouldnt change it for the world!! LOVE having them so close!! xxx |
| | | Jade
Age : 40 Join date : 2010-09-07 Location : Cyprus Posts : 3594
About Me! My Name: Jade Status: Pregnant Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:56 pm | |
| It is totally normal hun I'm not as excited this time round either, I do still coutn down the weeks but that's only because my little sister works with me and she is always asking plus I see dr every 3 weeks for a scan but apart from that no... I haven't bought anything apart from a double pram but with Tyler his room was decorated I had all his stuff, his cot, bumpers, curtains, all clothes, pram, everything! Snoopy I feel the same about feeling guilty for Tyler that he's going to mis out but I know he will absolutely love a little brother or sister as he's really loves hlping me out and loves other children - I know he's not missing out he's just gettign a completely different experience and that can onyl be good |
| | | Laura
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Northampton Posts : 6084
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:40 pm | |
| Yup, totally normal. Its hard to think about it when you are running around after a little one already. As we were having another girl with Lily, all she got was: a new play mat a crib new bottles That was it! So, dont feel bad at all. This time around we are having a surprise and I wont be buying anything at all. I may get new nursery furniture as Lily will be going in with Aimee. x |
| | | Shell
Age : 34 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Flitwick Posts : 3732
About Me! My Name: Michelle Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Second pregnancy guilt Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:43 pm | |
| Thanks ladies. I think i know rationally that this is normal, i just don't have the time to concentrate on every aspect of pregnancy like i did with Immi, and I don't need to shop cause I have everything. It's just that part of me that gets annoyed at myself.
I also feel the guilt about Immi too. Sometimes when I mention the baby to her I'm sure I get a look, one like 'oh no you're not talking about him again' but I'm probably just completely making it up cause other times she's so excited about having a baby brother. |
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