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Dave went back to him mum's last night. I asked him to go. He'd been avoiding talking to me about having another baby so yesterday I pushed him on it and he's not ready, wouldn't tell me why or give my any reasons. He doesn't know when he will be. He just doesn't realise how important having a family is to me, and so it seems we just want different things from life. I'm absolutely distraught as I love him so much and know he loves me but I just can't go on waiting for him as it's all I ever seem to do. I am not putting my life on hold any longer.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this. He's already made sure our joint friends are on his side as he went round to see them last night and none of them have even bothered to send me a text asking if I'm ok.

I just feel as though everything is crashing down around me and I'm suffocating in saddness.

He's just been to collect Amelia to take her to his Dad's for the afternoon. Then tonight he's off to see a mate about organising his best mates stag do, so there is no time at all for us to talk. He organised this last night so it's pretty obvious that he counts many things to be more important than our "relationship".

How the hell did I end up with someone with whom I have so little in common and wants such different things from life? I feel conned.