First topic message reminder :

Got a phone call from my eldest son's school this morning asking if I could go in to speak with a couple of his teachers but was not told why! I have met with them before as he had a few troubles in year 9...mainly with him being the class clown and constantly getting in trouble.

Anyway I'd been worrying myself silly wondering what he'd done and finally at 11.30 got to meet his teachers. Was told it was really bad news when I got there and I would need to sit down!! With my stomach in my mouth they told me...my 14 year old son has got his girlfriend pregnant!!

After all the talks we had about contraception, she is pregnant! I didn't even realise they were near that stage. I guess I should have really.

The school were fantastic and very supportive. They have to refer it now though to someone who for the life of me I can't remember, but basically it's child protection. As they are both under age.

I'm lost and confused at the moment. It's so much to take in. Apparently his GF wants to keep the baby, and Alex (my son) doesn't know quite what to do. I spoke to my OH when I got home and he thinks we need to steer them in the direction of a termination.

I fully understand why he says that and part of me agrees, but.....OMG.....OMFG!!!!!

I can't begin to explain the range of emotions I have gone through in the past few hours and really don't know what to think. All I do know is that I'll support them both whatever they decide.

Has anyone else got any experience with this situation? x

Oh my what a shock for you especially as u were never expecting it xx

Its a very hard one my sister fell pregnant at 15 was 16 when baby came but she went through with it and its not going well at the moment i wont say much as its quite personal to me but now she just wants the live of going drinking n being young etc

Ru able to talk to her parents? xx

wow !
i think you are handling this fantastically !
must have come as one massive shock
i hope all trns out for the best

is there a chance the girl is further on and maybe kept this a scared secret ?
do you know how her father is feeling at all ,,, girls daddies tend to be quite hot headed over this
x x x

I can only repeat what has been said above hun, just want to send some hugs

xx

I really don't know what to say. It must be such a shock but I'm sure things will work out one way or another xx

I'm sure you are so shocked.

Coming from someone who is from Northern Ireland - where abortions are not legal, I find it hard to comprehend your son's girlfriend having one (not being judgemental just not an option here).

Ultimately I suppose it's his GF's decision and you guys will just get swept along with it.

It must be so tough for you guys. Especially because they are SO young, it's so unlikely they are going to stay together.

Guess all you can do is be supportive hunnie, and keep telling your son that things are going to be ok regardless of what is decided.

Wish I had something more helpful to say xx

Just quickly wanted to say thank you so much for all your support ladies, it really means a lot to me as have no one to turn to except OH and we've been arguing this evening.

I will update you tomorrow as I'm rather emotional tonight. Guess my calmness wore off!!

Again, thank you x x x

Hey, just seen this and wanted to wish you luck whatever the outcome x

What a shock! Hope you are ok, I would deffo try and speak to the girls family and try and figure out what they are thinking will happen. Good luck xx

Oh Jo, what a massive shock.

I don't really know what to say, all the advise the others have given is amazing. I hope you and oh are ok. as well as your son. he must be awfully confused also.

You have dealt with it amazingly even if you are emotional!

((((Big hugs ))))

Oh Hun, that's so shocking. I also a son in year 9 and can't even start to think about him in a sexual relationship!!!! My son is a child! I think you'll just have to be strong and support him in whatever they choose to do. I think if it was my son I would hope they'd choose a termination!

My best friend a school had her first baby at 14, it wasn't ideal but she did make a good mum and her son is lovely.

Hope you're ok!

oh my, what a huge shock, just want to wish you all the best and stay strong
my auntie had her 1st at 14, she has made a good mum, it didnt ruin her life just change it.but im sure others in similar situations would say they wish they waited(i know it wasnt planned but you get what i mean)i think once the initial shock has gone you need to all get together and talk...i wish you luck xx

hi hun just wanted to check in with you this morning and se how you were feeling today xx

wow im on early!! just for you

thinking bout u and ur wee family and wanted to send u some love and hugs xx

Crikey what a shock! I really can't offer you any more advice than the others have but just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your family! And to send you more hugs and strength to get through this!

Xx

wow, what a shock for you, I hope it all works out ok for you. Your son is so lucky to have such an understanding and supourtive mother

oh Jo I've just seen this now. hope everything is ok, poor things (all of you!)

I can't imagine how you are all feeling it's such a shock isn't it.

I hope the girls family are as supportive as you seem to be and hope they don't push her into anything she might regret. I think as long as they both know that you support them whatever their decision then you'll be doing the best for them that you can.

x

Hope your ok today hun x

Jo - I feel for you.

Your son needs you right now because he must be very scared.

Your son and his gf have got themselves into a very adult situation so I believe they should be treated and spoken to as adults (although I am sure they appear to be frightened little children right now). Ultimately they have to take responsibility for their own actions and decide their own futures, albeit with a lot of support from their parents.

I have a friend whose little boy has just turned 1 and she is 15. She is supported by her family and school and returned to school when Lucas was 4 months old and could go to the free creche at the local college. The child's father is long gone but she still has a relationship with his parents so they see their grandson.

Just be strong and accept all the emotions you feel right now and over the coming months.

Wow what a shock xx

Oh wow I don't really know what to say but I hope it all works out for you all

How are you feeling about it ?

Well...where do I start!

Firstly I'd just like to say a big thank you to you all for your support and advice. It means so much. Especially as I really need to turn to my mum right now for some support but she has a lot on her plate as my grandad is quite ill, and my Nanna is moving in with her and my Auntie alternately. But to be brutally honest I know she would be very, very disappointed and make me feel even worse than I do now! I just need a hug from her

It has been a very emotional couple of days.

Yesterday morning we got his dad round and told him, then all three of us basically told him the impact this will have on his life...for the rest of his life. He just sat and listened to it all like a closed shell, with his back to his dad and my oh. I should explain for those who don't already know, that since going to upper school he has turned in to 'Kevin the teenager' and has a massive attitude! Anyway, we spent the day together and he opened up considerably.

Basically his girlfriend wants to keep it but she wants what Alex wants. After what we told him yesterday he isn't sure anymore and thinks it maybe would be he wrong decision to keep it. I've spoken to her mum today and although she is against terminations she would support her daughter if she decided to have one and she said that she would rather she lived her life before being a mother. But at the moment his gf wants to keep the baby.

Her mum is trying to get one of the mechanical babies from school for her to experience what it might be like before making her decision, which I think is a good idea.

I'm off to speak to Alex soon to see how today went at school as were not telling our daughter at the moment so speak when she's not about.

My feelings on it now are still all over the place. My head says they should live their lives and be parents when they are adults and not still kids themselves. But my heart says that this is their child and my grandchild we're talking about!!!

x x x

awww hun what a bloody rollercoaster !! Glad things are being discussed honestly and openly. Sending you lots hugs xx

This must be so hard for you and i just wanted to say you seem to be handling it amazingly considering it's such an emotional subject when your not personally involved, so what it must be like being directly in the middle but not be able to just take control must be unbearable.
Keep staying so positive and strong. x

just seen this hun...it's great to see that everyone is being so level headed and reasonable

i hope the kids make the decision that is right for them....much love!

the kids know ur there and are supporting them no matter what.

i hope everything is alright
been thinkin bout u x