First topic message reminder :

Got a phone call from my eldest son's school this morning asking if I could go in to speak with a couple of his teachers but was not told why! I have met with them before as he had a few troubles in year 9...mainly with him being the class clown and constantly getting in trouble.

Anyway I'd been worrying myself silly wondering what he'd done and finally at 11.30 got to meet his teachers. Was told it was really bad news when I got there and I would need to sit down!! With my stomach in my mouth they told me...my 14 year old son has got his girlfriend pregnant!!

After all the talks we had about contraception, she is pregnant! I didn't even realise they were near that stage. I guess I should have really.

The school were fantastic and very supportive. They have to refer it now though to someone who for the life of me I can't remember, but basically it's child protection. As they are both under age.

I'm lost and confused at the moment. It's so much to take in. Apparently his GF wants to keep the baby, and Alex (my son) doesn't know quite what to do. I spoke to my OH when I got home and he thinks we need to steer them in the direction of a termination.

I fully understand why he says that and part of me agrees, but.....OMG.....OMFG!!!!!

I can't begin to explain the range of emotions I have gone through in the past few hours and really don't know what to think. All I do know is that I'll support them both whatever they decide.

Has anyone else got any experience with this situation? x

Thanks ladies x x x x x x

I have been thinking about you too! I think your an amazing mum to not be pushing your feelings to the front rather than letting them make their choices! I can only imagine how difficult it can be for you at the moment but am sure that your son and his gf will make the right choice for them with the support you have offered!

Xx

Been on my mind a lot as well Jo. I mentioned to Matt what Alex is going through and it scared him! That's the problem with teens...they don't think of the consequences till after the fact. Very proud of how you are handling this situation and treating your son like an adult..with this adult sized issue. Whatever they decide..I know you will get through it no matter what! Always here if you need a bud! xxx <3

I agree with kinkyangel. I think you are all being very responsible. You as parents for not pushing your views and your needs on the kids, her mum for trying to get her some experience before she makes her decision.

Whatever the outcome there is going to be lot of heartache for everyone and you will need to keep up this supportive little network for your son and his girlfriend. I think your beig so fantastically calm and i admire you. I dont know i could in the same situation xxx

I think the mechanical baby is an excellent idea! It should make the reality of the situation hit home for them an dif they still want the baby after that at least they are going into it with their eyes open and not completely oblivious to the difficulties they'll face. Do you know how far along she is and how much time they have to make a decision? x

I've been thinking about you too and I've to my son who's the same age about contraception (they seem so young).

I think you're handeling the whole situation brilliantly.

Hope you're ok

I've been thinking about you too and I've to my son who's the same age about contraception (they seem so young).

I think you're handeling the whole situation brilliantly.

Hope you're ok

sorry hun only now seen this. wow I dont know how you do it, I suppose you just wouldnt know how to deal with a situation like it untill you were in it.

so good that everyone is talking and getting somewhere. I think its a fab idea shes having a mechanical baby that brill idea.
I think either way this turns out I think its fab both her and your son have their families behind them!!!

x x x

will virtual hugs do the trck *big hugs*

I just wanted to add I think your amazing! How your handling this, and being supportive it's brill.

And it seems like the girls mum is being sensible about the situation too.

with such great families behind them I am sure they will make the right decision... as long as it is an informed decision (which it sounds like it will be) then all will turn out ok in the end.

x

Quickly sneeking on here while I get the chance as I have kept Alex off school today so we could have some quality time to talk. We didn't get the chance yesterday, it's so hard with a very inquisitive 8 year old about!!

I have spoken to Alex and he is still of the mind that he feels they are too young and he wants to live his life first. He also said that they can still have kids in the future. As I explained to him, that I totally agree and if they stay together then they have the rest of their lives to start a family. But if they go their separate ways then one day they will find new loves and they will still be able to start a family, when they are ready.

I have to say I feel very proud of him and how he's handling this. I do keep telling him that whatever they decide, his GF will need his support and I will be here for them too.

With all the problems Alex has had this year with getting in trouble at school and falling in with the wrong crowd. His growing bad attitude and now this, my OH suggested we move schools. While he is at a fantastic school (it's where myself and my OH went) the estate that it's near is a rough one! We used to live near it and that is one of the reason we moved, because we didn't want Alex falling in with the wrong crowd, as he is easily led. Unfortunately tho he has met them at this school.

So I asked him today how he would feel about changing schools and to my shock he said he'd like to. He finally feels he wants and needs to do well at school so he can achieve what he wants out of life.....music to my ears!!!

Obviously I know he will more than likely have conflicting views still about the pregnancy and all I can do is be here for him while encouraging him to make the most of his life. I never ever thought we'd be going through this and can honestly say I wouldn't wish this on anyone, ever. In my own opinion, whatever happens now it will be heartbreaking and will leave it's mark on all our lives.

I have made him promise me that he will never have unprotected sex again, which he says he won't. But also says he is too embarrassed to ask me for condoms. We have found out tho that if I were to supply him with them, I could be prosecuted for aiding him in under age sex. So from now on my bathroom will have a supply..,iykwim

I know we still have a long and emotional journey ahead of us and I am still very much taking each day as it comes. But I have the support of you lovely ladies, and my virtual hugs, which I sooooo appreciate. So I'm sure we'll get there in the end.

Love to you all x x x x

Ah hun, big hugs to you all... your poor son what a situation to find himself in
How are the girls parents/gf taking it.. Has she made any further decisions, it must be so hard for you all but especially them... your son sounds as if maybe he has matured quite quickly in the the last few days and hope for all their sakes the correct decision is made (whichever that may be)

Love to you all..

Wow what a situation to be in, I think all you can do is offer advice and a willing ear when your son and even his gf want to talk. Ultimately its her decision i guess so its a waiting game. What a thing to go through at such a young age. xx

Thanks ladies.

Quick update. The mw went to see Alex's gf today. She specialises in teenage pregnancies. His gf is now totally determined she is going to keep the baby!!!

My son is trying to talk her in to having the mech baby from school now tho as she doesn't want to try it. So hopefully she'll come round to it. I really think she must to at least have some idea of what it'll be like. We'll see.....x

Oh so his gf is in denial then! She probably realises that the mech baby will destroy her romantic image of having a baby.

Your son sounds like he is being really sensible and mature. You should be proud that he is being responsible about this a lot wouldn't.

Morning again Jo. Hope things are settling a little bit for you guys. I just wanted to add a quick suggestion for Alex's gf. If you can...try to download/obtain the TV series - 16 and pregnant...that is a very good show and will provide some reality for them on what it is like to be pregnant..deliver and raise a newborn at their age. xxx

Oooo yes Jen, I'll ask.

I have posted a couple of updates on this thread in the past 24 hours. Things are changing quite frequently tho!

Thanks for your support Jen...love ya x

OMG JO, what a shock for you. Thinking of you hun and your son. I am sure with your help and support they will make the right decision whatever that may be.

Thinking of you hun, am on hols but will be on fb during the day so just holler if you need to talk. xx

As a mum to boys I would be proud of my boys if they handled the situation as your son has (after being rather miffed that they had got themselves in that situation in the first place!!) Your son seems to have thought this through and like Gill said I don't think his gf has! I hope she does take up the offer of the mech baby just to see how it is! I was 22 when I had Jake and wish I had been offered something like that!

The other thought I had is sitting his gf down and watching real life birth videos/films not the edited ones but the a ones with nothing taken out, that might give her a reality check that it's not all romantic etc!

Changing schools also seems like a good idea as it will give Alex a fresh start and he won't have the label/stigma of bring that lad who got his gf pregnant!

As my Grandad would have said "keep your pecker up!"

Xx