I cant believe I am actually typing this, but I really need to get it out.

Aimee is turning into a really horrid little girl .

She has no discipline, and spends all day biting, kicking and smacking Lily. Lily has had numerous bruises on her chest and face from when I have turned away for a second and Aimee has managed to hurt her.

I was hanging the washing out the other week and could hear Lily choking, I came in the lounge to find Aimee actually choking her with her hands tight around her throat .

I have tried everything, and im not kidding. I have:

Tried explaning that we dont kick, hit, bite, calmly.
Shouted at her.
Put her on the naughty step.
Put her in her room.

Everything on Supernanny - I have done it, but NOTHING works. This has been going on for a few months and I have been trying all of the different options to see which one will work for her, and nothing does.

She is a thousand times worse after having spent time with the grandparents too. She always gets spoilt there and is apparently as good as gold. But as soon as she gets home she is so cruel to Lily.

It cant possibly be a jealousy thing, as poor Lily gets no attention whatsoever, as Aimee is always grabbing the attention from everybody.

I know that there isnt anything that anybody can say, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.

She has her 2.5 year check on Friday so im going to speak to the HV about her and see if there is any advice that she can offer.

x

Aw no how awful, I think a chat the HV will be best, hope you get it sorted hun xxx

Poor you. Hope you manage to work something out. I know one of my sisters used to bite all the time but I think she just grew out of it. Not much help to you now I know

Oh no!



Ellie is very similar and we put it down to the fact that she is spoilt. We waited so long to conceive and for Mark, Ellie was a first child at the age of 41 and for the grandparents, they all thought they'd get no more grandchildren so Ellie is everyones little princess and my little nightmare!!



I'm just thinking because of Aimee's health problems and because she was a first child, maybe you, oh and the rest of the family also maybe let Aimee get with all kinds of behaviour because you realised how precious she was??!!



I can't offer much advice as I'm struggling through dealing with own monster right now. I'm going to keep watching your thread to see what advice you get.



Just a thought though, it is quite normal for big sisters to be mean to their little sisters!



Sending hugs

x

I can say that she has been spoilt, especially by the grandparents as she was the first one also.

But both James and I have been really careful with not letting her get away with too much and have always tried to keep her inline.

I must admit, in the run up to her going in to hospital this time, I was having morning sickness, and didnt keep up with the discipline like I should have, and it really did slip. She would just get off the naughty step, etc. and I would just let her, as I felt too sick to argue with her.

Then she was going into hospital so we didnt want to upset her then.

I guess we may have confused her a bit. Also, Lily has started crawling which is all new to her, so that probably isnt helping as Lily is now after all of her snacks and toys, which is why she tends to get smacked/bit, etc.

This weekend has been especially hard as James has been away for his brothers 30th and I have been doing it alone with both of them and also shattered from being pregnant.

Blimey, I dont do things by halves!


x

awww chick I dont know what to say. Dont blame yourself though, sometimes I think children are born with a temperament for being difficult and yes spoiling them affects it too. You're not alone, there are loads of children that go through a stage like this. Sending hugs xx

hun what about some reverse psychology, i found with rich that nothing on supernanny worked, but i was told to praise him for every little thing and ignore the bad.

so every little thing was praised and then i would ignore the bad, but i chose one thing he did that i didnt like and would discipline that, he was normally something taken away from him.

also with lily is going near her toys and snacks, and then aimee is hurting her, tell both off, so aimee can see that your telling lily off so she doesnt have too.

we've had to do this with rich with his cousins, he tried to parent them and we have to tell him not too.

but i would talk to hv and see what they suggest

Thanks for the suggestions.



James is home now and we have sat and talked and we think that Aimee is getting mixed messages from us both when she does something naughty. She never knows what reaction she is going to get at the moment, whether its put on the naughty step, put in her room, told off, or spoken calmly.



So, we have agreed that we will both stick to the same page and try the naughty step one more time and just say 'naughty, we dont hit' when she hurts Lily. And we have agreed to stick with it until she does the full 2.5 minutes on there, no matter how many times she gets off. We also 'tell' her to get back on it, which we think is probably the wrong approach, so we are going to just not speak to her, and keep putting her back until she gets it.



Clare, I think the idea of praising the good things she does is really key too. Poor little bugger probably feels like she is always being told off. We will both make more of an effort to do that.



I also think that 'telling Lily off' is a good idea, we will implement that too.



I will let you know how it goes with all of these tips and fingers crossed we will start to get somewhere.



x

sounds like you have a plan,

had another thought with the time out if she doesnt get that she has to sit there, try a timer, so she knows when the buzzer goes off thats the time out ended, but reset it everytime she gets up, i used a old fashioned egg timer with rich, they used it at his nursery and he got the idea,

i wish you luck

Laura no wonder you are at your wits end.

Does Aimee go to nursery?? If not, it may help if she did.

I hope I'm not jinxing myself but Bethany is a very well behaved little girl most of the time, don't get me wrong there are times when she can be a little monkey but on the whole she is very good and I put it down to the fact that she has gone to nursery since she was 8 months old and at her nursery they don't stand for any messing!!! So from an early age she has been taught what is/isn't acceptable. I think the discipline Bethany has been taught there is better than I could have done.

Really hope you get things sorted soon xx

Laura I know what you are going through. Harrison is nasty to Lewis as well. He sits on him, pushes him, hits him and if it's not Lewis he's chasing the dog round and hitting him. He is very well behaved around other children it's just Lewis. We do the naughty step as well but he just laughs. I am sure Lewis will get his own back as he is gonna be a bigger boy than Harrison x

I hope it works for you. When we set up Caelyns reward chart/naughty chair system we negotiated good and bad behaviour and one the the behaviours we reward is being kind to her sister and one of the ones we punish is being mean to her (not usual minor stuff but proper mean) and so far shes earnt quite a few stickers for being kind to awen (she shares her toys or sings to her when she cries) and we havent had to naughty step her at all for it. I know awens younger and you are coming from a different perspective in that aimee is already acting out towards Lilly but maybe really big up any kindess she shows her and it will set a precedent in her head then x

i hope some of these are working for you, have nothing really else to suggest but deffinately consistency is the key
xx

Well, its been 2 days now and we have been really consistent in how we deal with her being mean to Lily and she has actually been pretty good. I dont expect it to last, by any means, as I have also kept her busy so she probably hasnt noticed Lily as much.



She is starting nursery 2 mornings a week in September so hopefully this will also get her put in her place too, as I hear lots of children change a bit when they start nursery.



x