*breathe*

ARGHHHH! Ok me and stuart are arguing about potty training techniques. He is driving me mad! I mentioned that if Caitlin doesnt manage to use the potty of her own accord in the next month eg if I put her on it when getting nappy changed/ask her does she want to sit on loo when I go etc then Im going to spend a few days at the end of Sept with her in pants and let her learn what wetting herself feels like/catch her mid flow and plonk her on it. If it doesnt work i'l leave it another month or 2, no pressure.

Anyway, stuart thinks im crazy and keeps muttering darkly that I need to remember who will be cleaning it up, certainly not him blah blah blah, he's not keen on letting her 'pee all over the house as she likes'

He wants to put her in pull ups and keep asking her does she want to go. Im sorry I dont see how this is different to now when she is in nappys and just says no/isnt interested. Iv tried explaining to stuart that being in pants MIGHT help her associate weeing with potty/give us the chance to get her to go once and praise/reward her and see what happens from there.

What did you do? Pull ups or pants? Stuart is very keen on her being potty trained asap (so am I) but seems to think I need to make more of an effort asking her but keeping her in nappys/pull ups. He apparently has never heard of anyone just putting their toddler in pants and very much doubts other mothers have tried this ridiculous idea. Have I missed something???? I fully understand Caitlin might not be ready, but I dont see the harm in trying pants....

Jaiden was a nightmare for potty training So we had both

we tried just pamts didnt work at all so we thought just 2 get him used to the up down thing we used pull ups!! This was fine (really hated it when u still done 2's in his pullups But hey hoo then 1 day i suggested he put pants on over the top of his pullups LOL This went on 4 quite a while then 1 day when he was about 3 and a week old hahaha we ran out of pullups so i just asked him what we gonna do now ? And half exoecting him and his smart answers to come out with we will have 2 buy some more but 2 my surprise he just said well we will have to try just pants So thats what we did has had a few accidents but that was the end of that and he has been dry through the night since just after xmas as well

Sophia is my next challenge

anyway good luck XX

hmm if she's not ready for potty training then putting her in pants might upset her and make it harder to potty train her iykwim



Im not sure though as Tylers no where near ready for potty training he's only just started telling us when he's going to go or when he wants his nappy changing and isn't capable of holding anything in anyway,

See I think she does know. She has started saying pee and has known for months when she is going to poo and tells you. Only prob is this fear of the potty when nekkid.

Im not denying it might be too early to train, which is fair enough. I just mean that when the time comes surely its ok to put them in pants for a few days instead of pull ups? I get the impression Stuart doesnt think there should be many accidents and if there are he wants the pull ups to deal with the mess - not him!

Tara - when he was in pull ups did he regualrly use the potty but/avoid peeing in them? Im just thinking peeing in pull ups wont really teach her much...

it took a while 4 him 2 get the hang of the pull ups idea so we went 4 the 1s where they have the picture on the front and just kept asking him is ur picture still there oh good well lets c if a wee needs to come out so we can keep woody on there

Just kept reminding him

hmmmmmm I kind of agree with Stuart on this one - I think letting them wee themselves and getting wet is not very nice for them, and may cause an issue?

You will need to remind her at first lots to go to the potty, so if you miss to ask and she forgets (it does happen!) she will wee herself and maybe get upset - if she has the pull up on then she doesn't get wee everywhere, I dont really think them feeling wet all the time will teach them to use the potty, IMO it just upsets them - Izzy occasionally forgets to use the potty and wees herself in pants and she HATES it, and most of the time after wetting herself she gets upset and asks for a nappy because she is worried, but she doesn't often forget luckily .

I think you should certainly be getting wees and poos in the potty without having to ask, i.e at least morning, nap time, evening etc, and her being able to get her trousers and pullups down.... before moving to knickers

If I am busy or she is napping I pop Izzy in a pull up - but she still takes it off for a wee because she is ready for using the potty, its just there in case....I think if they aren't taking the pull up down and going to the potty maybe they aren't ready?

Ok im not going to let stuart read this thread lol. I can see his point but I dont think im a loon for thinking about putting her in pants for a few days to see what happens.

I suppose what I meant was we have never really given Caitlin any nappy free time so she doesnt know what its like to pee out of nappy (a few times she has gone standing in bath/on bathroom floor etc) so I thought letting her feel herself wee would be helpful. I thought if she had pull up on she wouldnt even bother trying to go on potty, whereas if she got pissed off getting wet/changed she may consider the potty.

Im worrying that she will never just decide to go of her own accord. Im sure iv heard of other people taking a week off work/stayed in for a week & bought loads of pants to kick start potty training. What did people do before pull ups?

I dont want to cause upset/make an issue but I kinda feel she has known what to do regarding potty/toilet for months and isnt making any progress so a gentle push wouldnt go a miss. Her speech is good enough to tell me she needs to go, like I say its just this bloody hysterics over a bare bum on a potty!

yeah get her in pants and try 4 a few days if she not ready then she not ready yet I didnt want to use pullups either but I was starting to get concerned he would b goin 2 school in a nappy so id rather pullups then that

When I try with sophia I dont want to use pullups but again it just depends and we will c how she does with pants

Libby is obviously alot older than Caitlin but we just hid the nappies one night and explained to her the next morning that there was no more nappies so she had to wear knickers and wee and poo in the potty. That was just over 2 weeks ago and bar 1 accident during the day and 1 at night she has been dry ever since. x

Urgh, i duno what to do now. Im starting to realise im being a bit selfish and alot of this pressure im feeling is because I dont want to buy 2 lots of nappys/pull ups in Dec. (she will be 2 yrs 4 mths ish when baby comes). If I dont get her trained before Nov im going to have to leave it unil Feb ish as I dont think training with the upset of a new sibling is fair on her, nor will I have time tbh. She will be 2yrs 7mths in Feb, which I know isnt ridiculously late but later than I hoped. Also Feb isnt going to be the best time of year for training with tights/bulky clothes etc.

Her 2 cousins potty trained at 2 yrs 2months and family have been going on about it since she was about 20 months so feel like she should be doing something by now. Though maybe if I just forget about it til Feb/march so she a similar age to libby it will be easy, dunno if I could bear to listen to stuart/MIL/SIL/cousin asking about training between now and then but.

Snoops, I think both you and stu have good points.

I honestly believe that there isn't much point in it until they're ready and then when you're sure she's ready I think either way would be good.

I've my mum and dad here this morning saying they were going to the shops to buy Ellie a potty as potty training was to start this week in their house hehe I told them I already had a potty that they could take as Ellie is not the slightest bit interested in peeing in the potty yet. I'm happy for my mum and dad to try as it'll be them mopping up pee all week!

I read this article on mumsnet and decided to give it a go, it worked for us as she had got the hang of it in about 4 days. It was hard for the first 2 days when there were accidents etc but it really did work. I decided to try it for a week and see what happened, i decided i would stop if lily was upset at any point or we didnt seem to be getting anywhere. She was fine with it. We did bribe her with a sticker chart and choc buttons also!

Potty training boot camp (courtesy of Mumsnetter Cod)
Rules
Children must be over the age of two (the best age is two to two and a half).
There is NO going back. You go COLD TURKEY. This is vital.
Remember it is hard work – that's why it’s called 'training'. Yes, life WILL be more difficult for a couple of weeks.
Do NOT use pull-ups for daytime naps or anything short of a two-hour journey.
The child must be well and not poorly or miserable.
Night training is a wholly separate issue.

Procedure
Preparation. Explain to your child that he is a big boy/girl now and soon he will do his poos and wees in the potty or toilet, and not in his nappies. Let him go shopping to select his own pants.
Choose your day. Get your head around the fact that you are starting properly tomorrow; have your partner on board and gather together your gear (new pants, large basket of spare clothes, chocolate buttons or appropriate bribes, potty or potties).
Stay at home for the first couple of days.

Now we begin
Put child in fabbo pants of choice (or leave naked).
Take don't ask. Take them to the loo as often as you see fit – say every 30 minutes. When you go to the loo, make sure you take him with you to sit on the potty (if you are using one) next to Mummy while you wee in synchrony.
Put him on the potty and, if necessary, distract him with a story.
Reward with extravagant whooping (and sweets, if necessary) for weeing in the correct place (or telling you at any time they need it even if they then miss the loo).
Important! When they perform you must go crazy with whooping and clapping. Also you must pretend to ring people up (or actually do so if you have understanding friends) to tell them of the good news.
If they wee on the floor just remind them (through gritted teeth, if necessary) to go in the loo next time. Just say: "Where do we wee? On the potty/ loo." The weeing on the floor can go on for a couple of days if not a week.
Put a care-mat under him at nap-time.
When you go out take several changes of clothes. Better a wet outfit than a nappy.

Kate - I'm liking your post as this is what we've been doing since Thursday and have had a real breakthrough today. I've not seen this before but am glad to see that what we've done is one of the recommended methods x

I dont think you're being selfish at all hun, we had the same idea when I was pregnant and attempted it then. We went for the only knickers approach but she was only in them half an hour before an accident and she got so upset bless her and was begging for a nappy to be put back on so I dont think she was ready.



Some take to it earlier than others, the fact that I could explain thoroughly to Libby and she understood exactly what we were doing was I think the reason that shes done/doing so well.



Dont let anyone push you into it, if you want to wait then tell everyone else to sod off - you know Caitlin better than anyone else. xx

Thanx for that Kate ! Thats kinda what I was thinking of, and like you I intend to stop if it becomes apparent that she isnt ready at all or is getting too upset by it.

I'l see how she is at end of Sept and make my mind up. Might try some nappy free time at bedtimes and see if we can get that 1st wee and praise her/gauge her interest.

People are now telling me she will probably regress when baby arrives anyway so no point making the effort before This potty training lark is hurting my head and i havent even started!

I put C straight ino pants snoops. She asked for and went for a wee on the loo so i just decided to go for it.

We really turned a corner when I realise dthat though for some odd reason shes petrified of the potty she loves sitting on the toilet and have for the most part abandoned any notion of the potty now. This does make life harder cos she struggles to do it herself but we are improving. She now will go upstairs, put her seat and ladder on the loo, pull her pants and trousers off, climb up, wee, wipe her bits and come back downstairs. Its not a perfect system as I often find pee on the toilet and she cant properly pull her own trousers up so I either have to retrieve them to put back on her (so she spends a lot of time half naked)or catch her to pull them up before she comes downstairs as i have caught her trying to come down the stairswith them round her ankles. Its a work in progress though and to be taking herself to the loo at not even 2 and a half im rpoud of her. So maybe try Caity with the toilet if shes dead against the potty

As for the pants vs pull ups i used pants for the same reason that she doesnt like the feeling of being wet. The first day was torrid with about 10 accidents as even though she wanted to do it she wasnt quite quick enough. It def made a difference though as she hated being wet. I dont think pull ups had the same effect she often didnt even notice so we only used em for days out. What we did do in the end was do away with pants altogether and left her commando for about a fortnight and it seemed to make more difference to her. I think if id used pull ups for indoors it would have taken longer. I will say though we always were hugely positive to her if she did wet so i think it didnt really traumatise her as I always made it clear that it was ok accidents happen, mummy loves her and we would try again as she was a clever girl and it didnt take long. Plus the mess isnt that horrendous, at first they dont hold much in their bladders before wanting to go the holding it in to do bigger wees comes later. Spray disinfectant and wetwipes took care of it really easy and quick with minimum effort and i also used vanish carpet spray prior to hoovering regularly i can assure you my carpet is clean enough still that im happy to lie awen on it. Im not sure if stuart thinks theres a mess free parenting solution but ive not found it yet. Kids are inherent grub monsters and he may have to learn to get his hands a bit dirty somtimes

And C started doing it when Awen was a newborn-off her own back. So dont worry overmuch about regressing. She may true but she may not, if you think shes ready dont use it as a reason not to do it

Best of british x

I have to say i have never used pull up, they seem pointless as they are just like nappys making the process twice longer x

And snoops if it help, i am not even thinking about potty training sam, he still uses his as a hat!! lol x

Kate I've just read that post and it's exactly what I did with Rowan.

Also i think you need to be careful with mixed messages. we were training Rowan at home but when we went out put him in a pull up then we'd get accidents at home.

The only time he wears a pull up is at night now, if he naps during the day we dont put one on him, as he's only wet once since he's been trained.

we kept rowan bottomless to start training as he was just not getting the pants thing. the potty is kept in our bathroom in front of our toilet. when i went i took him with me and the same with OH when he went he took him with him. we then would take him every 30 mins, even if he didnt go it was practice. they also do the wee dance so you take them to the potty.

when rowan does use the potty/toilet we go nuts over the praise, i phone daddy, i phone nanny, up in the air hugs everything.

we then put rowan in pants but he just wet himself all the time. a friend then suggested boxers we tried them and it worked. he now wears pants.

we took him out the weekend and it was an hour car journey and all day out. and he did brilliant. he'd not been to the toilet for 3 hours since leaving home and we had to drag him to the toilet kicking and screaming. and the only reason he was, was because he thought we had to go home to use the toilet, once he realised he didnt have to go home he told us when he needed the toilet.