When did you start being strict about things? I refused to give Jamie one of his baby crisp things today because he refused to say ta (which he had for all the others) and he threw a massive tantrum (not unusual - we normally have a couple a day). He was really tired but I was wondering if I was being strict too early on. Couldn't really do anything this time because I told him he wasn't having it unless he said ta and I'm not going back on my word but would it be better just to leave it for now and just to praise him when he does it. It is a word his been saying for a while and in context for a while so its not like he doesn't know his supposed to do it

Umm to be honest i wouldnt insist noah saying tar after every crisp i think he would get very frustrated. Normally i would put a few on a plate or give him the bag with a few in for him to pick at. I would normal tell him to say tar after i have given him the plate or bag then he can get stuck in.

Char

I know what you mean. I wouldn't if he'd had them all at once but he'd eaten about 6 over 5 hours so they were spread out! I did feel a bit mean. Perhaps I'll just make him say ta once in the future

i never was 'strict' with it but since he could talk we have encouraged please and thankyous, if he said it he got clapped etc, if he didn't then that was ok, he was just gently reminded again every time

he's now 2 and NEVER has to be prompted to say please, thankyou or anything like that
he even says bless you when we sneeze, or if he sneezes and we say bless you he says thankyou:lol:

Yeah Kenty I think that's probably a better way of doing it. Just backed myself into a corner a bit today not helped by the fact I have a cold and was feeling awful and he didn't really want it. I normally only praise when he does it right so I think I'll go back to reminding him to say ta and praising him when he does

Thanks ladies

I would then if it was over 6 hours there is no harm in him saying it.

Char

I have never enforced please or thankyou, and wouldnt stop hr having something even now if she didnt say it. When she was smaller I taught her what please and thank you was, and will still say ' say thank you' if she doesn't...but I don't push it if she doesn't

My dad tried to MAKE her say it and she just gets stroppy and sulky and then doesnt say anything ... she doesnt say it for him as much as for me!

For me she says it voluntarily 99% of the time - so letting her decide to say it has worked

I dont enforce it but encourage it, I wouldn't stop Ava from having something at this age for not saying it, I would have passed her it and said thankyou to her. most of the time she says it back x

No I dont enforce it either but Ellie has picked up good manners from the rest of us as we do always say please and thank you. I'd never make her do without for not saying it.

I definitely need to be strickter in general everyday stuff though!

I've just started to get a bit stricter with Amelia. She is generally a very polite and well behaved little lady (occording to nursery she's mega polite lol). She's said please and thank you for yonks now and there are times where she almost demands to me, rather than asks politely. I will not let her have what she wants, or do as she asks until she is polite. It usually only takes a look from me and then she becomes her usual polite little self lol. But Amelia, although strong willed over some things, is pretty compliant and wants to please x

we pretty much just try and teach by example so we say please and thank you when you normally would (if someone passes something, if you want something) and praise elijah when he does it, and just ignore it if he doesnt (not the request, the lack of please/thank you)

he does say peeeeeeeeeees a lot now and quite often says fankfank

Thanks ladies. We decided we were being too strict. Think it came from having my teaching head on and then felt I couldn't back down (the big no no in teaching) so from now on we're going to go back to what we were doing before which is saying ta when we go to give him something and if he says it praising him but ignoring it if he doesn't