So Dexter started at nursery on Tuesday, when Simon picked him up they told him he had about 20 mins but it was an effort to get him to sleep. Yesterday they said he had about 25 mins so I thought great it's getting better, well today I thought I'd actually ask them how he's doing etc. and they said they are rocking him to sleep in their arms and because he wakes then cries when they put him down (travel cot) they leave him to sleep in their arms til he wakes up Now I havent done this since he was about 4 months old and I'm not really happy about them doing it but I know it's because they wont leave him cry for a little while because of the other children there, what should I do? They do have pushchairs that they also use for nap times - which I HATE the idea of but would that be better than him sleeping on them??

Also he's cut right down to only 3 breastfeeds a day so I'm trying to get him to have more fluids (squash) from a cup to make up for it, the first day I handed his cup to them but when Simon picked him up they told him he didnt really want any, yesterday I left it in his bag but told them it was there - again they said he didnt want any and it was still in the bottom of his bag, the thing is if he even sees his cup he gets really excited and ALWAYS takes a sip when I offer it so I dont really think they're even offering it

What can I do though??

Sorry for the long post - believe it or not I'm supposed to be working

I understand they can't have him crying for ages but they shouldn't be rocking a 9month old to sleep. That will really mess up routine. I think you need to talk to them and say you don't want that happening and try to think of other ways he can get his proper sleep. How do you get him down at home?

You need to be really persistant about the cup too. it sounds like they just can't be bothered. If you don't believe they are actually trying, tell them the cup is in there (but its not) then see if at the end they have realised you haven't packed the cup. It might be that they haven't even looked to get it out. I worked at a nursary and a lot of white lies to parents happen to keep them happy, not all nursaries but I know it does happen.

Thats a good idea about the cup, I might do that on Monday - I really don't believe they are offering it to him and certainly him not wanting it because he ALWAYS has a bit even if its just a sip.

I usually just put him in his cot for his naps and he rarely cries and just goes straight off - if he does cry it's not normally for long. I havent had a chance to talk to Simon about it yet but will tonight, I dont really know what else to suggest other than the pushchair or leave him cry - it would only be a couple of times before he 'gets' that its nap time.

I would speak to them. Im sure they get it all the time when new children are settling in.

Maybe fib and say that rocking him to sleep in the day is causing problems with his sleep routines at home and can you see if you can come up with another solution, like the buggy/leaving him for a couple of minutes/putting him in another room or area.

As for the drink, say that he isnt drinking enough and his wee is strong smelling and ask if they could try to encourage him to drink more out of the cup, or do they have any other cups/suggestions that can help x

Hmmm the napping thing is a difficult one because I know what Hannah is like for other people. She has always been the most fabulous sleeper at home for me or Paul, goes in her cot and rarely makes a peep and has a good long nap. However when she stays with my parents she is a nighmare and half the time my mam ends up having to rock her or take her out in the car (even now). What i will say though is that this has never affected the way she goes down for me, she knows she gets cuddled to sleep by nanna but also seems to know that mummy doesn't (proabbly why she's such a nanna's girl) but it has never really affected her home routine iykwim. I would maybe ask them to try the buggy rather than holding him as they may find he settles quicker and quicker each time and eventually they will get him to a point where they can put him down with no rocking (this is how I trained Thomas to nap and eventually he went in his cot no bother).

With regards the cup I would defo try what Shell suggested. Also, Thomas started Pre-school this week and he drinks LOADS at home, can go through 2-3 large bottles (sport type ones) in a day yet he has barely touched his drink all week so maybe its just a settling in thing? Thomas has access to his drink throughout the day as they keep it in his drawer but he just doesn't drink it :/ give it a week or so and I'm sure he will settle in and be doing pretty much the same as he would at home.

xx

Debs is right hon. C has always been a bit of a toad for not settling for other people and Awen only goes to sleep on me at Mums house as there isnt a travel cot there but it doesnt muck up her home pattern at all as she knows what happens at home. Id say get them to try the buggy and maybe take one of his blankets from home to snug him in with as it smells familiar.

Also as for the cup the first day they may have been telling the truth that he didnt want any and even if it was in bottom of bag they may still be telling you truth and have repacked it-hes still settling which might be why he wont take it from them if he doesnt let them give them it. Id give them benefit of the doubt and explain hes cutting down bfing and could they keep at him to drink.

It IS still early days hon and i know you were anxious about strangers having him and you not being able to control what was going on. I do think you need to give them a little bit of a chance. If problems keep cropping up then you might need to reconsider but at the moment its only been 3 days hon I reckon its all just things that wil resolve as he can you settle to the idea of whats going on. x

Thanks ladies, and you're right he's been sleeping absolutely fine for his morning nap so I don't think it will disrupt his sleeping at home. Simon signed a form to allow them to rock him to sleep in the pushchair when he picked him up so hopefully on Monday they'll try that and he'll sleep better.

I know I should relax a bit more about it it's just so hard, he's my baby so I should be caring for him and I'm finding it so hard to trust anyone to do a good enough job - hopefully it will get easier in time.

I'll explain to them on Monday why I would like them to persist a bit more with the drinking too, fingers crossed he'll start taking it more.

xx

Suse alfie is the same at nursery. He wont settle if hes put in the cot so they have to rock him off to sleep. But it doesnt affect his sleeps at home. he always goes down fine no bother for me and sleeps for 2hrs or so. I would say that def just give it time for him to settle in and for u to afjust too. It is hard but itll do dexter and u the world of good x

I'd chat with them but suspect its just settling in. Jamie wouldn't sleep at all at nursery initially and also refused to take any milk but after a couple of weeks was fine

Suse wrote:

Thanks ladies, and you're right he's been sleeping absolutely fine for his morning nap so I don't think it will disrupt his sleeping at home. Simon signed a form to allow them to rock him to sleep in the pushchair when he picked him up so hopefully on Monday they'll try that and he'll sleep better.

I know I should relax a bit more about it it's just so hard, he's my baby so I should be caring for him and I'm finding it so hard to trust anyone to do a good enough job - hopefully it will get easier in time.

I'll explain to them on Monday why I would like them to persist a bit more with the drinking too, fingers crossed he'll start taking it more.

xx

Of course its hard hon. Im on the outside looking in, itseasy to rationalise things. I hope it gets better soon and im sure once hes settled it will all be great