Ok finally watched it

Storm Lee - wtf to the judges saying her could sing well, bad bad vocals and dodgy dad dancing. just dont buy into him. If he's bruce springsteen Im diana ross.

Matt Cardle - still looked grubby but his voice was nice though the high note wasnt as impressive as i thought it would be after his xfactor judges house high notes. Im sure he will do well but he just doesnt do it for me. Glad to see the manky hat of doom is gone though, now if can do something about the fingers in the electric socket hairstyle.

TreyC Cohen - still has a stupid name but man can that bird sing. And she can hit big notes without the huge train tunnel open mouth thing that irritates me. Plus shes a normal sized woman which i approve of and i think shes actually one to watch. Not sure if shes a bit samey though after the leona/alexandra burke wins but id buy her stuff she was so good last night and i actually liked her dress and i dont do dresses.

Paige - actually wasnt impressed and i usually like him, looked a bit awkward, song wasnt good for him, vocals strained i think they were right about his lung capacity. Maybe when he rings Rihanna to give her her hair back he could ask for tips. Shame as usually i love the guy, hope hes back to normal next week id love to see him doing big band.

One direction - my little cuties, i want them sat on my mantlepiece singing to me in the morning. Very good this week and so uber cute. Should be a shoo in as id like to see them do more. (Note to self, you are old enough to be their mother!!!)

Cher................i actually like this weeks. Half decent singing but shame about the monkey walk thing she keeps doing. Dont mind her songs its the performances that accompany them that irritate me plus the gansta thing she thinks she has going on. Wouldnt mind seeing her stand and just sing to make my mind up.

John adething - not bad, vocally nice this week but just doesnt seem to stand out for me, hes a bit normal. Might need a big performance from him before im impressed.

Diva Fever - omg i love these guys and i dont know why they just make me smile! Im not sure id buy their record but id so watch em live. Hope they stay cos that was fun. And how camp is simon being with them. Think they would be short lived but so much fun for that short while.

Rebecca ferguson - tricky. She can sing but she just seems to be lacking something. I think she needs to be a bit more expressive and less like a deer caught in the headlights. Plus her lipstick and makeup looked odd, not good, nor the dress - a bit like it was cut out of two flat bits of material and wonderwebbed onto her.

Aiden Private Pile Grimshaw - ok another serial killer performance, i wish he would stop rocking like a newly treated mental patient, open his eyes and just sing cos his voice is actually ok its the way he looks that makes me think hes gonna go postal on the judges one day. And stop squeezing your knees together mate you look like a school boy busting for a pee. Not a good song for him last night either and i think he knew it, lets hope he doesnt take it out on some unsuspecting member of the public when he accosts them and eats them later.

Wagner - mental. thats enough there. Why were the backing singers having their boobs groped on ITV. Id go to channel 4 for that usually. He's fun though and Dannii asking him if he was singing in english nearly made me pee myself. Nice to hear he's knocking off Mary lol

Katie - still cant stand her but at least she sang well this week. Maybe if she toned down the theatrics and did more normal stuff day to day id warm to her, shes a bit like danyl in that. Good voice but too too OTT. Still Im less homocidal about her now the eyelashes and lace brolly seem to have been mislaid. Do yer roots and lose the clark kent specs and you are getting to be a normal member of society.

Belle Amie - it was ok but i dont see them making it judging by the infighting going on about who wants to sing what, thats not a group its a bunch of single artists singing together on stage. Still undecided there. I do however have a little machine for removing the bobbles off the blond girl's dress

Mary Byrne - how much do i love this woman. She normal she sings like something possessed and almost reduces me to tears with her passion. Id so buy something she made but sadly i dont think she will get to the end cos shes not fashionable enough. No sarky comments here. Not world class yet but id say she has a shot. Last night was AMAZING



Ok well theres my 'professional' verdict pmsl. Discuss...

Lmao i love this. Oooh bitchy. Mario will you be our regular xfecktor weekly critique???

LMAO! Love the comments about Aiden, I said to Matt last night I wish he would stop jerking he looks like he has a problem haha! xx

Oh no how could you think one direction was good? They were shockingly awful. I actually had to hide my face as I was cringing so badly. I want to line Katie up with Chris and Poy and put them all out of their misery. Oh and I'd love for the girls from Belle Amie to come out with black eyes and broken noses and all their extensions hanging out as they're had a massive biatch fight!

i'm waiting for the celebrity wedding wagner and mary

standout for me was Matt, I do like serial killer but wasn't impressed last night, I thought Cher was quite good even though I dislke her but maybe it was her song choice, I love Annie! and I still have a soft spot for Diva Fever.

Not sure who'll be out tonight, think maybe Paige and Belle Amie

mara wrote:

Lmao i love this. Oooh bitchy. Mario will you be our regular xfecktor weekly critique???

Lol why the heck not being bitchy is fun

Oooooooh bottom 3 - Belle Amie, Storm and my poor diva fever

Dad dancers gone. Thank feck, hes got bigger bling on his fingers than tina turner.

Come on Divas!!! Do it for me and Mario!

I WILL SURVIVE. Oh man it could only have got better if they did its raining men. Not the best version though but def full of feeling. Belle Amies song is actually better but i think they are dull

Up the fever!

oh no they're going

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You bastards

A bonafide tragedy

Poor Diva Fever !!! Arrrggggghhhh who the fluffing chuffing heck is voting for Wagner, they were so much better him

And yet private pile is still here

Man wagners got the jedward vote

I heart Wagner (Ron Jeremy)

Dont make me slap you up side the head with the fish

Pinky you're fired

Im dropping aidens meds and sending him round your house if you carry on love

I won't rest until he sings with nothing on but his tanga briefs and dreamcatcher necklace!

Wagner vagner whatever his name is should have gone with storm!x

Love marry!x