...Im pulling caelyn out of the childminders. Midwife seems to think im not going to work much between now and mat leave anyway so will be home mostly and if i do go back at all my lil sis is between hip ops at the moment and fit to walk and drive and can only do light hours at work so has agreed (without any real need to be persuaded as she worships lil chicken) to pick up any slack for me.

Im paying 100 pound a month at mo for childminder and not using her for any real reason other than a lie in in the morning and caelyn HATES it there. Im also going to be on reduced wages now with sickness and mat leave. If she adored it i would probably work to find the money but having to walk out the door leaving her when she is sobbing and clinging to me when i cant really afford to anyway is heartbreaking.

Its not like she needs the social interaction. Despite the things ive been told i dontfeel c has a probem with socialising or other children, minimeg and emz saw her playing yesterday and im sure both would agree she is happy enough around other kids. I take her to soft play, parks, baby gym and playdates so she gets plenty of social time. Maybe a break would do her the world of good in breaking this negative cycle and next autumn i will look for a nursery or childminder for both of them when i go back to work.

Ive text my childminder asking her to text me when she is free for a chat. Do feel like a big weight is off though and will find things easier for us both now.

Sounds likethe best decision, it's pointless paying all that money when it's making C miserable! x

Ahh that sounds like a good decision Mario. Especially as it's one that will make both you and C feel better.

Sounds like you have thought it through long and hard and tbh the timing is probably quite good. You don't want C feeling like Mummy's leaving her where she doesn't feel happy now that little A is on the way. It's just going to make her feel insecure and more than likely give her issues with A when she makes her arrival.

No, I think you have made the right decision x

I agree waste of money if she doesnt like it bit different if she loves it but sounds like ur doing the right thing xx

it sounds like the right move, maybe C just hasn't taken to her and what's the point in wasting money.

Definately sounds like the best decision hun - for both of you. Must be such a big relief xxx

Well i text her and explainedthe situation. She was fine about it, said she was disappointed but understood my position. She runs a play group on a wednesday morning and said i was always welcome to bring C along to play which i said i would do as if c settles a bit more when im looking for childcare next year when i go back to work i will contact her. I still owe her 40 pound for this month but she said she could wait til my payday for it

In some ways i do feel sad as its not really karens fault c never settled and she is agood childminder but i gotta do right by chicky and how miserable she is there and cant spare the money

I might be going against the grain I am not sure it is the right decision..although I am sure you have thought about it well enough!

I know C is fine playing with other children when you are there, but if there is an issue with how she feels playing with other kids when you aren't there then pulling her from the only time she spends without close family may just delay her dealing with it?

I am just thinking that when the new baby arrives, and when if you ever send her again to a childminder or nursery, whether for work or just need time, or even when it comes to going to pre school...she may never have got over her 'fears' of not being with you that she shows when she is with the childminder.

That all said it could easily go the other way and she could remain at the childminder and still not the change the way she feels about not being with you?

Anyway just my view...

No i knw what you mean lisa its a very valid point and if i hadstill been working i think id have tried to stick it out for those reasons. Its taken me 2 weeksto make this choice for that exact reason

However to be finding 100 pound a month when im home is hard to justify esp for something making her so mis. Im gonna keep taking her to the childminders playgroup for now and try and expand her horizons in meantime its all i can do. I need to pick food or childminder at moment

i think you've done the right thing. C was fine the other day, she left your side and was quite happy with me and Cerys in the ball pit. I was expecting her to be clingy (from what you've said before) but in my eyes she was just like all the others toddlers there, exploring, laughing, interacting with strangers (me). Give her oppurtunities like that and she will be fine but from what i saw, she seems very confident (i.e the frying pan incident pmsl) try not to over analyse it too much xx

sounds like you have made the right decision and you are sure of it.
maybe its because shes only there one day a week so by the time that day comes round again she has forgotten that its actually ok and its so traumatising for both of you all over again? maybe once shes settled somewhere with her little sis and for maybe more than one day she will be better. plus she will be older and you will be able to explain things to her and she will understand.

but when it comes down to money its probably better that you have that 100 quid in your pocket and shes at home with you where she wants to be.
x

MiniMeg wrote:

i think you've done the right thing. C was fine the other day, she left your side and was quite happy with me and Cerys in the ball pit. I was expecting her to be clingy (from what you've said before) but in my eyes she was just like all the others toddlers there, exploring, laughing, interacting with strangers (me). Give her oppurtunities like that and she will be fine but from what i saw, she seems very confident (i.e the frying pan incident pmsl) try not to over analyse it too much xx

Yes do have to wonder with the frying pan incident if my child could actually do with being a touch more shy. Feckin oliver twist