Oliver started his 'terrible 2's' when he hit 18mth and omg..he's like the devil child lately.

If he gets something of our's he refuses to give it back whether we make out were not bothered, tell him too or even distraction. He runs in the opposite direction and throws what ever it is he has

Last week he was at the kitchen sink, filled a jug and flung it across the kitchen when asked to get down. Today he grabed my vase - when I said "No - thats mummy's!!" he ran and bounced it off the floor and its smashed into a million pieces I was so mad, I just put him on the naughty spot..but even that now he sees as a game and laughs the whole time
OH put him in his room for time out on his own..We kinda feel bad that its led to this, but I see it as an only option. He's like the 'class clown' who is doing it for the attention of others (although he doesn't do it when out )

Have your LO's been soooo 'naughty' thats just left you speachless? If so how do you deal with it?

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that he's not doing it to be naughty or spiteful, he just doesn't understand the consequence's of his actions. But I believe that he needs to learn when he's crossed the line. Do you agree? or do you believe its just kids being kids?

Hiya,

Not completely hit the terrible twos yet but you helped me out so thought would try and offer a suggestion.

Maybe to help him realise the consequence of him taking stuff you dont want him to, you could perhaps take one of his toys for safe keeping for a set short amount of time. Just , if the consequence is that he misses out on something he likes, maybe that would help him understand he shouldnt do it?

As i say, not quite at this stage and feel free to totally direguard my idea, just a thought.

Mandy x

That is a good idea Mandy, thanks.

What he did tonight was the most extreme thing he's done (yet!) but he does have a habit of running off then throwing our stuff so I will try that 1st. I know he loves his little cars the most so will take them one by one if he persists
Then maybe do the time out in his room as a last resort. I'm just reluctant to use his room as I believe thats should be a place of calm etc not punishment - its a hard one cos my mum said she did the same with me and my bro if we misbehaved and I can't say I saw my room as a 'bad place' lol

Hmmmm I'd be reluctant to do the toy taking in this situation...I just feel that a parent should never do the thing they are trying to stop the child doing, it won't teach them that its wrong, it will teach them that mummy does it too! Thats just the way I think though!

I'm not sure how to make him realise, I think you just have to keep on telling him, using the naughty step, just persevere with what you are doing.

Hmm, never thought of it like that The naughty spot just don't work anymore though..he's not actually learning anything now cos he just moves and he knows I will go over and put him back on the spot and he laughs. I sit with him, between my legs to keep him in one place but he still see's it as a big game

I would try the toy taking personally but be careful to explain it in terms of why you are doing it. Lily has started tantrum mode now and again and i say to her if you throw food on the floor (for example) then we cant play with the (whatever fav toy at the time!) or go to the park etc. I think that they should learn that there are consequences to actions xx

ive not much advise hun sorry evan finds the naughty corner funny aswell or either that he will jst scream but as soon as his time is up and he gets back in the living room he is laughing and does exactly as he was doin before!!
his problem is more he has started kicking the dog and doesnt leave ohs computer alone which is driving oh up the wall but he doesnt understand why he isnt allowed to touch it althought he knows its naughty it dont stop him he sees oh on it all day so he thinks that its alright to play on it
right now he is currently chasing the dog with his ride on trying to run over her legs

Is your room safe for him to be in alone? coz you could use your room instead, so its a quiet place with not too much going on, but you wont feel like his room is beiing made a bad place?

That make sense?

I take lisa's point too, however, i think there is a difference from taking your stuff and abusing it to taking his stuff temporarily, looking after it and giving it back. However if you took and didnt give it back, then what she says i feel is def true and def too harsh. But as i say i am not expereinced yet, so maybe it could be too harsh, not sure.

Mandy xx

I see what you mean Mandy, When you say 'your' room ,do you mean my bed room or the living room?

I was having a read up last night and I want him to understand that there are consequences of his actions and outbursts and its advised that if they throw these types of tantrums/attention seeking that they need to learn - ie; if he does throw something in a temper or deface something etc then encourage him to deal with the aftermath such as clearing it up (obviously depending on the situation..I wouldn't have let him clear a broken vase lol)
Being more positive - rather than saying 'No' which is a word that soon falls upon deaf ears, twist it round so it comes across as a positive as oppose to a negative.

Well i've been doing it this morning and it he does seem much better - more positive and generally helping He did have 2 incidents though, one was him throwing the milk in the shop today as I said we need to pay for it I ignored this behaviour. Then when at home he got hold of a screwdriver ran off and threw it . So I ignored him..when he came up to me after I asked him to bring me the screwdriver that he had just thrown, which he did and I said he's not to throw things like that.

Arghh its so hard I just feel like i'm never doing right and probably making everything worse .

Michelle - We don't tend to have the computers on when O's up as he does see it as a toy that he wants to play with. On the occasions that we have had it on, we do let him have a look, that he's to be gentle with it, he presses a few buttons but he soon looses interest. But you can kinda see why he does want to play with it if daddy's on it too. If daddy needs to be on the computer, could it not go in another room?
As for the dog - again we keep our dog separate (behind a baby gate) for Olivers and Harrys own safety. Again, maybe removing the dog from the room for a while, i understand its not the dogs fault but explain to Evan that if he can't play nice then Roxy (it is Roxy isn't it?) is going for some quite time lol
Oliver is generally good with the dogs - he gets on great with my mums dog as she's a younger dog and just wants to play anyway where as Harry's old and set in his ways

I agree with the positives - its what I do with Izzy, after I read the 'how to behave so your children do'

Was thinking like your bedroom. Living room might be a bit too busy and too many distractions.

Sounds like you are doing great zee. Well done you. Hope it all continues, sounds a much more positive way than my suggestion! Bless him. and that makes sense, getting him to help sort out what he does. Taht is a very clear way of showing a consequence.

Funny really, should have thought of that (i know different as adults and they have learning disabilities) as i use that method often with my students. Ie, if they throw a coat or rubbish, or knock a chair over on the floor, i encourage them to pick it up and put it away and when they have then praise them for it. Positive reinforcement works a treat!

MAndy x

we have a cage for roxi so been putting her in there when she has had enough tbh it doesnt bother her at all and i think evan thinks they are playin cos she is constantly chasing him or him chasing her to play
at the moment there is no where else to move ohs comp although we r desperately trying to make space lol, we are trying to find a bigger house cos i hate having the computer in the living room anyway but there is jst no where else to put it, we cud move it under the stairs which we are considering but it would mean taking away the dog cage which is really big so we wud have to get rid of it and im not sure i want to do that is its only place the dog can escape from evan (although she cud go upstair) and we keep her food in there to cos we can lock it and stop evan eating it lol!!

im sure the kickin is jst a wee phase and he will stop it but i know what u mean bout all u feel like u say is no or bad cos its all i ever say to evan! im gonna try the positive approach that you are doingand see if it makes any difference

It really seems to have made a difference today, whether it was just a one off we'll see..but me and OH have chatted about it and told my mum too (as she pops in to see him every day so she's seen his devil side) just so we're all consistent with the approach to discipline.

He been so good today and no fussing at meal times either

I do think kids respond better to positivity definately! Tyler started biting me and we tried telling him no he thought it was funny... I looked up on good ole supernanny and it said biting can be their way of showing love and that you shouldn't tell them off if that's what you think it is( he only did it to me so figured that was it) I told him to kiss or hug instead and he hasn't bitten me since!

Zee I think your fantastic with Oliver and are definately doing the right kind of things with him you seem so patient and calm from what you say and the advice you give to others!

Aww, Thank you Jade..that so nice.

I remember going through that same stage with O and his biting and learnt the very same thing off supernanny It does make sense though cos he only ever did it to me and OH (ohh and he bit his nana's boob once )

pmsl bit his nanna's boob tehe Im actually lol ing

yeh the supernanny thing did make sense Im so glad I read it. MY friend shouts at her LO when he bites and he only bites her... she makes him cry I told her I think he's doing it to express his love but I dont think she listened to me .