My grandparents came down to see us on tuesday. My sis and I went to meet them at my Aunties but when we got there, my Nanna had fallen at the door so the ambulance came and she went off to hospital. She was eventually released and we saw her briefly in the car then she went home. When she got home, she fell again and was back in hospital. Turns out they'd missed a cut at the hospital that needed stitches and she also had a chest infection they hadn't picked up on. Cut a long story short we thought she was going to be ok but on wednesday night we all started to get worried and thursday morning i woke up to a call from my aunty saying the crash team were working on my Nanna. My sis and I packed a few things and got straight on the road to Essex but sadly as we were half way there we got the call to say she died. I'm devastated. She hadn't been well for a while, her legs swelled for no apparent reasons and she could not walk so she was frustrated and sad so i know she's happier now but it's so sad. She was the most amazing woman, so loving and caring and just a special person really.

I've been back and forth from Essex and here since Thurs but have been barely able to look after Imogen. I feel like a bit of a failure but i just can't be around her atm.

Furthering the crappy week, i failed my driving test today. At the start of my test a lorry stopped in front of me, adjacent to a junction so i tried to get past but cause i was worrying about the cars coming out the junction i got too close to the lorry and that was a dangerous so i knew i'd failed before the test even really began.
And now my period is 4days late so i'm worrying i'm pregnant. Guess it could be the stress. I'd love another baby, especially after my miscarriage but with things with me&Matt still tense it's not exactly the right time.

Anyways well done if you actually read all this and thank you. No need to reply just needed to get it out. xx

Sorry to hear about your Nanna Shell. HOpe you are ok. I would not even worry about your driving test - you can do it again when you are feeling a bit better xx

I'm sorry to here about your crappy week hun, your Nanna is at peace now so there will be no more suffering...sending you a great big ((((hug)))) xxx

PS. Don't stress too much about your driving test...you can always do it again hun xx

im so sorry about your nanna thinking of you and your familyxxxx
they always say better drivers fail the 1st time i know its dissapointing but you wil get another chance!! hope af shows for you soon, im sure its just cos you have a lot on your mind
(((((((hugs))))))) xx

Aw hun, sorry you're having such a crappy week and I so so sorry about your Nanna. Huge hugs xxxx

Im so sorry about your nanna x I found it really hard that i thought my nan was gonna be ok we were told she was coming home and the next day my mum was called in saying shes not got long left. I went to the funeral 6days before i was due to give birth to callum i really didnt wanna give birth so must be hard for you to seem fine around imogen. Im hear if you wana talk xx

Sorry that u failed ur test just came at the wrong time for you xx

Oh Hun I'm so sorry for your loss.

Don't feel like a failure, you are grieving sweetie! Sorry you failed your test like the others have Sid there's always next time! You've got alot on your mind!

Fingers crossed af shows.

Big hug to you Hun, hope you are ok xx

Im so sorry Shell xxxxxxxxxx

God hun, poor you! You really are having a tough time. I lost my granny about 8 years ago and it was horrible, even though we knew it was coming. Must be so hard for her just to be ok one day and not the next

As for the driving test - I took 3 goes and I had nothing stressful happening in my life at the time. Just sit it again, still disappointing though.

You know yourself that you maybe need to do a pg test. It will put your mind at ease or get you planning/chatting to Matt. If you are pg you will be fine -with or without Matt. Everything in life is meant to be. If you are pg you could even see it as a gift from your nana, if that makes sense? x

Oh, hun! i'm sorry to hear about your nan. What an awful week you've had. H ope your ok. xx

so sorry hun. thinking of you

as for the driving test I passed first time and im crap at driving so it must be true

xxx

Oh Shell!! I'm so sorry to hear what has been happening over the past week. Sorry for the loss of your Nan x

I'm not surprised you didn't pass your driving test what with what is on your mind just now. Don't beat yourself up about it though. As the other ladies have said, you can take it again. And as for not being around Imogen as much just now, I know it's hard, but if being around her she sees you unhappy, snappy or upset (which would be understandable) then you are protecting her from it all by not being around her so much. You're being a caring, sensible mummy, certainly not a failure.

I agree with Snoopy though hun, I really think it would be a good idea to test as you will then know where you're at and what direction you want to be going.

Thinking of you and hoping things ease too x x x

I can only repeat what the other ladies have said hun.

Im so sorry about your nanna.

I really hope things start looking up sweetheart xx

I can also only reiterate whats also been said. Im sorry for your loss and terrible week. Hard as it seems cos you dont wanna put your mood on her go cuddle your girly, shes probably just what you need right now. xxx

Im so sorry about your Nan!

Dont worry about the driving test hun, I only passed on my 4th time - My first one I had a 'dangerous' too. I ended up stalling the car in the middle of the road at a cross roads.......then all the lights changed!!! I seriously shat myself, and just wanted to get out, and run!

Get a pg test hun? Are you and Matt together at the mo? Would you prefer to do the test on your own, or would you like his support with it? Have a think, but do whats right for you hunny!

Im sure a big hug from your little girl will help lots xxx

aww hun what a week
big hugs hunni x x

hugs to you hunny such a hard a frustrating time for you xxx thinking of you x

Oh hun, can only echo what everyone else has said, so sorry about your nana, sending you big hugs x

Thank you everyone.
I'm over the driving test, if anything it's probs a good thing as i'd only be a danger on the road the state my head is in atm.
Matt got a pg test cause he didnt want me worrying and it was negative so thats something off my mind i guess.

thanks again for all the kind wordsxx

michelle i'm so sorry about your nan.

sending you and your family my thoughts at this time.

Ah sorry Shell, what a week x

Hope your Nanna is at peace now.

That's good that you have taken a pg test, something less to be thinking about atm. The driving test must be frustrating, but i don't think many people pass on their first attempt. It took me 3 goes! I am still a shit driver though, haha!

As for looking after Imogen, like the others have said, grief affects everyone in different ways, don't feel guilty, you just need a bit of time to yourself to take in everything that has happened.

Big hugs x x x

im so sorry bout ur nan hun xx