In fact I'm really rather pissed off.

I hardly ever see Dave anymore. This week for example;
Sunday night - went to bed early as had to be up in the night for work
Monday night - Played on the computer in the other room
Tuesday night - I had to work and he went out and came home at 3am (work night out)
Wednesday - played tennis and worked on the clubs website
Thursday - late back from work then played on the computer in the other room til 1am
Friday - going out before Amelia goes to bed (3rd time this week) to his bosses house round the corner for a meal and drinks with his work mates

Oh and he goes to the gym before he goes to work 3 times a week and I can guarentee he'll do this Sat and sun mornings too.

And this is not unusual. I'm almost at the point of telling him to *$%£ off and use his mother's house as a hotel instead of this one. I am rapidly going off him

And he has the front to say I never want sex, well of course I bloody well don't, not with a stranger.

Thats pretty bad tbh! I would be seriously pissed off too!

What has he said about it?

"It's work" or "I NEED to go to the gym" Seriously Lisa I'm at the end of my tether and seriously considering telling him to do one. Things have REALLY changed in the last 6 weeks. If I didn't know better I'd have said he was cheating on me.

I have to admit i would be getting fed up with that. Have you had a chat with him about it adn told him its peeing you off etc??

Aww hun.. (((((hugs)))))

I think that men take for granted the fact that we will always be around.

My OH works all week, plays football 2/3 nights a week and also plays football both weekend days too, which takes up all Sat afternoons and all of Sunday mornings (no pub allowed on these days as he has to come home to see Aimee).

You probably need to write down how little you have seen him lately and make him see it on paper, so he appreciates it.

And as for the sex... too right... totally agree with you, if he wants it, he can work for it x

I know i have only met him a couple of times but Dave does not seem like a cheating type of person.

Oh nooooooo.

Not nice. I would give him an ultimatum - tell him he bucks up his ideas and spends time with his FAMILY or he can do one.

oh lisa sorry you feel so unhappy maybe he is doing it because he can .. if u know what i mean.. men need to be told what they are doing wrong or right or they carry on regardless !! have a chat tell hi mhow u feel and if he wont change ..then make the change for him ! xxx

xxx hugs xxxx

I tried having a chat with him 3 weeks ago and nothing has changed. He's just left now and I feel like bursting into tears. I can literally feel our relationship colapsing around us, and I'm not going to beg him to spend time with me. I NEVER thought I'd say that, I thought we were really strong but I'm almost past caring now

No i wouldnt be happy either Lisa!

is he feeling a bit stressed out or anything, Adam tends to get a bit distance if he has something on his mind.

if its been the last few weeks has something happened at work?

is he withdrawing from amelia as well?

i hope you get things sorted soon!
big kick up the jacksie me thinks!

He still plays tons with Amelia when he's here but he used to tell people he couldn't be out before Amelia was in bed.

I'm so upset

LisaGandAmelia wrote:

I tried having a chat with him 3 weeks ago and nothing has changed. He's just left now and I feel like bursting into tears. I can literally feel our relationship colapsing around us, and I'm not going to beg him to spend time with me. I NEVER thought I'd say that, I thought we were really strong but I'm almost past caring now

I'm surprised you feel that way - always felt you 2 were rock solid, so he must be seriously acting badly for you to feel like this.

I think you need an row - I know that sounds bad but sometimes you have to get everything out, me and Dan have done it! In the end both say exactly what the deal is and then solutions can be made, until it happens sometimes the 'chats' do nothing.

Wish we were all closer and we could take you up for cheering up drinks! I am rubsh at advice and the only thing i can suggest is to try another chat tomorrow and make ti clear how fed up you are. Maybe you could agree to certain days/evenings you will keep free just for you 3 to spend time together. Hopefully he will buck up!!

It sounds like he is taking you for granted.

He needs a reality check x

Then the short sharp shock of telling him to sod off to his mums for a few days might be the kick up the arse he needs.

he doesnt have to go if it makes him realise what he has.

i know this might sound a bit daft but does he feel like you dont need him/pushed out, they are strange creatures men and react by retaliating rather than trying to work things out

lisa i reall do hope u can make him se your so unhappy..i tried talking to dan for over a year before we ended up where i we are now!! everyone said we where meant to be and always shou;d be together.. in my experience the only way for him to se what he is doing is by shocking him by ..asking hiim to leave or really go hammer and tong at him.. if he still doesnt change .. then your worth much more than than and deserve better x

Thanks so much ladies, I can always rely on you all xxx

It just feels like I'm falling out of love with him as I never even see him, and when I do he thinks we can pick up where he left off. Well I just can't.

I have probably been partially to blame, spending too much time on here, but that was only because I was stuck in on my own a lot whilst I was pregnant and I've made some wonderful friends online.

Lisa I think you're right we need a proper good row to try and clear the air, the chat has obviously fallen on deaf ears. I don't even know if he want's us to save our relationship?!

He probably isn't even aware it needs saving!

I agree with Lisa too... have a good row and get it all out in the open.

Im sure you will find that he will do anything to save your relationship when he is put in the situation where he takes you seriously.

If you want to borrow a hairbrush to whack him round the head with, if he doesnt listen, I have a good one. My OH couldnt remember where he got his sore head from, lol!

x

i agree he probably doesnt relise there is a problem even though u told him ..he prob thought u having a off day and would forget abou tit.. my ex blemed me being on the laptop rather than spending time with him..and that was his reason fro not bothereing for me.. grr xx i really do hope he comes to his senses and mans up a bit x

deffo agree a row may be needed

why does he NEED to go to the gym ? , could he not cut back on that a bit ? , does he really need to go out as often ? , what about time for you , your nights out ?

good luck hun and yip i would be thinking get to on the sex front ,,, although that could be part of the vicious circle ? ,,,, hes thinking no sex maybe just maybe she does not find me attractive or want to be with me hence the gym and nights out away from you ?
x x

Yep! He needs a good ol fashioned tongue lashing! You are not to be treated like that! Sounds like he's becoming a Good Time Charlie and needs to learn to find a healthy balance between both his social life and his family life! ((((HUGS)))) xxx

Aww Lisa hun sorry that you are having a tough time hun. Think the way your oh is acting you have every right to be pissed off I would be. Think Lisa may be right an argument though I wouldn't recommend them can sometimes clear the air. Me and oh were'nt getting on the best and when I posted on ab a few weeks ago and let him read it the brown stuff hit the fan, but it has really cleared the air and things are so much better between us.

Hope things work out for you hun, thinking of you xxx

Aw Lisa, what a horrible postion to be in

I really hope Dave soon realises what he's doing to you and bucks his ideas up!!!

Huge hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Awwww hugs Lisa - i know how u feel. we are the same at the moment. im like you, im not in the mood for sex because i dont feel close to him anymore, we have drifted a bit. dont let it get really bad, you NEED to have it out with him big time. mu oh is always moaning that im on the pc all the time, but you lot are my extended family and i come here for a laugh and to have some "me" time, dont let him twist it round xx