How the he'll do you do it??? I'm really on verge of breakdown I swear! If ones not crying it's the other. I can't even eat dinner, everyone keeps saying how much weight iv lost.. Because I just don't get to eat! Hollies not putting weight on still, so back & fore to Drs. I just can't bf & run after lillie or get sorted, I can't find the time to sit for 20/30mins to feed her. Started her on 1 bot of formula at night now at 7 so I could at least do dinner. I'm getting myself in a right state want to bf do enjoy it (not as much as last time!) but I really struggle to be able to sit for periods of time when lillies pulling something part/ tree down/ raid the fridge/ strip off/ run off or just climbing on me whilst feeding. Then the poor child soon as I get her to sleep (hardly sleeps during day) Lillies there climbing on her waking her up. Or Shes crying about something. I give up :0( but when we're out shopping they are both good as gold! Huh?!?!

Trying to move with no one to look after them was a total nightmare! Still is things still in bags & boxes just can't unpack. Im really struggling, but when their both asleep (very rare the same time if ever) which they are now I think aw what am I getting stressed for. Love them to bits!! But I did myself keep telling myself 'won't be like this for ever..' but tell you what me wanting another one has gone way way out of window. If I did the 2girls would have to be in school I think so I could enjoy it. Is it just me not getting the hand of 2?? Or is there some secret I'm missing??? Lol
But saying all that I wouldn't change them for the world. They are my world :0)

Oh no hun, sounds like a nightmare!!!

I dont know what to suggest but would it be a huge disaster if you stopped BF? You've done absolutely brilliantly to get this far but if it's wearing you out as much as this then maybe it's time?

Sorry not much help but hug hugs hunni

xxxxxx

Sweetheart, I totally feel your pain.

Im not bf Lily and she is pretty much schedule fed between 2.5 and 3.5 hours a time. Aimee sounds the same as Lillie... always pulling down the tree, wrecking the house and generally causing havoc all day long.

It is exhausting and I think the night feeds and lack of sleep makes things a thousand times worse.

I wish I could offer some advice, but its just the same in our house as it is in yours at the minute... remember though, it does get better xx

I know how u feel. I could only manage to bf Lewis for 4 wks as i just couldnt sit there doing nothing while H was causing havoc. Didnt help that L is a difficult baby and cries alot. It has got a bit better and i hope when hes sittin up properly it will be easier. X

Aww hunni - personally it's a 'fly by the seat of your pants' situation - take each day as it comes and see what it throws at you? Some days are a dream and they are both great - others they scream and whinge and moan and cry (you get the picture ) and I find myself right on the edge of running a long long way away and hiding.

I have managed to get them both napping between 1-3 now so that is my life saver! I spend 20-30 mins tidying round and then I sit down with food and my lappy and chill for at least an hour. On the odd occasion where something disturbs one of them it really shits up my karma and I feel like my head will expode

Seriously though hun, I know we are all supposed to big up the breast feeding thing and 'it's best for baby' blah blah but if you are struggling (as I did) then there is absolutely no shame in switching to bottles. I had a constant feeder with Hannah and she was such a clingy moo that she was using me for comfort too so Thomas was starting to get a bit jealous and I felt awful for him that I couldn't give him the attention he deserved. So I stopped bf at 5 weeks and I swear to god it is the best thing I ever did, I have a perfectly healthy and happy little girl who is thriving as much on formula as she did on bf. I feel no guilt whatsoever because it stopped me having a breakdown, the second I made that decision to stop I felt a HUGE weight lift off my shoulders and I began to enjoy my babies more rather than just getting completely stressed all the time and my change in mood also had an effect on the kids in that they seemed a lot happier and chilled too. I honestly haven't looked back. I had them in a proper routine within days and napping together from 2 months. I'm not telling you to stop bf hun - just giving you my story FYI.

As far as Lil climbing on Hollie whilst she sleeps goes - have you got a play pen you can put her in to sleep so little hands cant reach her? or failing that pop her in her/your room with the monitor on.

You are doing a fab job hun, don't feel like you are failing in anyway. You might read posts from me or others with two and think it's all rosy but believe me IT ISN'T - its bloody hard work - but once you find that level and get your routine it's fab. I would also like to add - it does get easier! As I say - my two nap together, bath together, eat together, go to bed together and best of all they play together and absolutely adore each other. It melts my heart each and everyday when they sit chattering to each other and giggling at each other - It so hard sometimes but so rewarding too.

Keep up the good work hunni - you're doing fab! Anytime you want a chat - you know where I am

xx

Thanks girls made me cry!!! I tell oh I feel like I'm struggling & all I get well you wanted more kids! So understanding!
Thankyou, I think your right though need to knock bf on the head, guess trying to prove a point I'm superwoman but guess I'm not lol think your right debs.

I do try & bath them the same time or they'd never get bathed. Lol I am finding Hollie a lot clingier baby than lillie was. Makes it harder. I will get there I'm sure
Thanks ladies listening to me moan! Xx

Sounds perfectly normal hun

I used to be a control freak about cleaning, looking well turned out, tidy home etc..........

Thats all out the window now!!

1. Me, nor Isla got out of our Pj's today (or yesterday, or the day before that!)
2. Jess spent most of the day moaning (and yesterday, and the day before that)
3. Isla took most of the bleedin baubles off the tree (same as yesterday, and the day before that)
4. The house is a tip.
5. My ironing pile never gets touched, we just root something out of the pile and hope is not too creased.
6. Isla got a carton of juice and a cheesestring out of the fridge herself this morning, because I was caught up with Jess! The poor bugger must've been hungry
7. Isla and Jess must think there name is 'shut up' !!!

Im embarassed by a lot of what ive wrote there, I never thought a parent would scream 'shut up' at her beautiful daughters.....BUT i did, and im not proud!!

But y'know what, im only human, and I love my girls desperately, and im doing my best!

Go easy on yourself, its early days yet!

Much love & hugs xxxx

tbh i don't know how we do it, it's take it as it comes i think!

when lewis was born it wasn't such a big deal because lily-ann is like having a tiny baby cos she doesn't really move, but now lewis is mobile and lily-ann is like the likle baby(in a 2yr olds body!lol) it's bloody hard work!!

it will get easier as you get used to it...getting them into a routine together helped me, i fed them at the same time, bathed them together and put them to bed at the same time...and it worked a treat(lewis was time fed with a bottle though) and they're still in that routine together now

I told a friend of mine for the first 4 months you totally wing it. Anyone who tells you they coped fine up till then is lying lol.

It takes that long to get used to it! I never breastfed hun so cant comment on that.

Everything your feeling is perfectly normal, your doing FAB!

HUGE HUGS CHICK XXXX

LisaMnGirls wrote:

Im embarassed by a lot of what ive wrote there, I never thought a parent would scream 'shut up' at her beautiful daughters.....BUT i did, and im not proud!!

i have done this too! unfortunately a little too often, but when they're both tantruming for the sake of it...you feel like you're ready for the nuthouse(well i do! )

Lol Lisa - I think we live in the same house

We have more PJ days than non PJ days, infact I usually only get us dressed if we are going out or someone is coming over (both quite rare ). I feel like I'm constantly swimming against the tide and sometimes I could just sit and cry. I put off putting my tree up until yesterday and finally thought I had better make the effort. Well it was on the floor this morning whilst I was in the kitchen getting Hannah's brekkie (I swear I was gone for 30 secs). Somedays I struggle to even go to the blummin toilet in peace. I am guilty of screaming and shouting at them to SHUT UP!!!!!! too not something I'm proud of but if it stops me completely breaking down then so be it (my neighbours must think I'm an evil biatch!

Mara is right - those first 4 months are tough and 'wing it' describes it perfectly. Don't be too hard on yourself hun and don't expect too much too soon - try to enjoy the madness of it all, leave the pots for two days if you have to, don't hoover for a week, let the kids wear the same PJs for two nights instead of one and concentrate on enjoying your girls and looking after yourself. You need to eat hunni - you will not be able to look after your babies if you don't have any energy. Buy in snack foods that you can grab and eat straight from the fridge on the run, sausage rolls, quiche, cooked meats etc or make yourself up sarnies at night and pop them in the fridge so they are there to grab whilst feeding Hollie. Seriously hun - you're doing great

xx

Hugs em it will get better i admire yo with moving bf and a w 1 year old and new born .!you have done fab x

aww hun . leo was nearly 5 when oliver was born so was probibly a hell of a lot easier that it is having a toddler, but even still i struggled and had days feeling like poo.

bf is soooo draining, you have done so well to get this far, she will have got a lot of goodness from you and will not lose out whatso ever if you decide to call it a day, or even if you really want to keep doing it a bit then maybe just do a couple of bf a day and the rest as formula?

just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel xxxxxx

i couldnt breastfeed with two, bf'ing takes up way too much time, i know its great for them and everything but with a toddler its just impossible to sit and bf for half an hour every 2/3 hours so theres no way i could see how that works, you have done amazing doing it this long!

i was so lucky cos dita slept most the time as a baby, well for the first 3 months, and braden still had his two hour naps at dinner time so it wasn't incredibly hard! It's harder now they are so demanding, well not today poor nippers are ill, ditas asleep and bradens layed like a zombie!

i'm sure your doing great and it will get better, but i am the exact same, not even gna think about anymore chiildren til they are both at school lol! x

Hi Em.

I'm sorry your having a tough time of it. I can only really echo what a lot of the ladies have said. I tried bf for 24hours with Sophie she was constantly on my breast in hospital and cried as soon as she was off and just before i left the hospital i gave her a bottle and she was happy for 2 hours! There is no need to prove you are superwoman, if bf is too much hard work then formula feed there is no shame in it. Both mine are bottle fed and are appy and healthy!

I had a carry cot on my single pushchair (it was the icandy cherry) and i used to set that up in the hall so Andrew wasnt tempted to go and mess with her and that enabled her to sleep in peace. Or i would put her in the bouncy chair lay cmpletely flat next to me whilst i played with Andrew and if he would go near her I would tell him 'no, shh, baby sleeping' or something along those lines.

Andrew was like Braden in that he already had his own little routine and at 1 year when Sophie came along he was still having either 2 small naps or 1 big nap a day and with the house being so quiet Sophie would sleep too.

When I weaned Sophie I made sure I fed her at the same times as Andrew and they always eat together now. I know its harder because your not at that stage but I would definately reccommend you feed them together.

It does get easier, now my 2 eat, sleep, play and bath together and its so nice to have. It is hard now in the sense that they argue and fight a lot a day wont go passed without Andrew shouting 'No Hophie that Andrew's' and Sophie shouting 'NOOOOOO' or MUMMY!!!' but It is so much easier when you do settle into a routine!! I dont know where I would be without my routine!

Also if they are well behaved when out in the pushchair make an effort to get out every day, We still go out most days now because they enjoy going for walks and going to play groups etc. It gives you some peace too if they are quiet in the pushchair for 30 mins!!

If you ever want to talk I'm here, it is tough but it does get easier!!!!!

Hi. I know how you are feeling.
I moved (relocated) when Thomas was 8 weeks old. It was hard work and looking back I have no idea how I did it but I guess you just do!
I have 3 boys, I have a 21 month age gap between the older 2 then a 7 year gap. I must admit I found the gap closer easier than the big gap as was starting all over again. So much changes in 7 years!
As for the bf, I sat and cried. Thomas was constantly attached to me. I was trying to pack to move, I was not even able to do basic housework let alone pack a house.
I decided to gve him the odd bottle just so someone else could feed him and it gave me the chance to get things done. I just gave him 1 bottle a day, it made him go longer than just bf.
Once I moved and we had settled I was going to stop the bottle feed but it seemed to work well. I left it at that.
At 5 months he decided he no longer wanted to bf so went onto all bottle.
All I can say is take each day at a time. Do not think about what needs doing tomorrow, just get through today x

Aw Em,

i have only just seen this. i hope you are ok. well done on still BF, i mixed feed E from 2 untill bedtime she is on bottles and i feed her through the night until 2pm. i had to to make this easier for us as we were exactly the same.

E is much more demanding than Alice, and for my sanity i had to find something that settled E for longer than an hour.
we have a swing too that we can put E in for a break.
Alice has also started becoming a bit of a terror mainly when i am feeding E so i try to get her involved with holding the bottle etc.

i too have beed guilty of shouting SHUT UP!!! not proud of it but i cant change it

Can you give lillie a time out in an afternoon, i know she doesnt sleep very much but can she go in her room? very often i put Alice to bed and she doesnt sleep and plays with stuff in her cot. she is happy enough (although gets up a grumpy shit)
but it just gives me an hour, either with E or just having a bit of peace.

we are also in Pjs alot, i only got out usually if i need to get lots of things from town, i find nipping anywhere a night mare cos i have to get them both in and out or find a shop etc that i can leave them in the car but can see the car and just run in and out!

today i have just been to the docs literally to run in and out, took A in as she was already in a mood, left E cos she was asleep and getting ready for a feed, 2 min later come out and she is screaming her head off, now i ffel bad that i didnt take her in.

i need to go back out when A gets up from her nap and i am dreading it

it will get better, do not beat yourself up about the BF hun, you do what makes you and H happy
hang in there it will get easier, E is just coming to 12 weeks and there is a massive difference in her already.

she still has REALLY bad days but most of the time we are getting on ok.

as for housework etc, you fit it in when you can and dont beat yourself up about that either. I am not ashamed to admit that i rang my MIL last week to have E for the afternoon just so i could have a good few hours doing some cleaning

you are doing a fab job and have 2 gorgeous girls xxx

I HAD A 19 MONTH AGE GAP BETWEEN MY 2 OLDEST AND MY GOD IT WAS HARD ,,,,, I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE FAMILY AT MY EVERY NEED PLUS I NEVER BREASTFED SO WOULDNT UNDERSTAND HOW HARD THAT COULD BE
I LOST ALOT OF WEIGHT BACK THEN TOO , I WAS RUNNING ABOUT LIKE A HEADLESS CHICKEN BUT MY ARMS WERE HUG LOL! ,,, I HAD A SIDE BY SIDE DOUBLE BUGGY AND THEY WERE NOT AS LIGHTWEIGHT AS THEY ARE NOW
DEFFO TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES
THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT HAVING THEM CLOSE TO GETHER IS THEY ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER TO PLAY WITH ,, TO THIS DAY MY 2 ( 11 AND 9 ) PAL ABOUT TOGETHER
LIKE NIKKI SAYS THE CHANGES OVER THE YEARS IS A BIG WAKE UP CALL ! THERE IS AN 8 YEAR GAP WITH MINE NOW BUT AT LEAST I HAVE THE OLDER ONES WHO LOVE TO HELP OUT X

Big hug hun! I could easily right this, i struggle so bad some days and i end up a right mess, and i havent had a move like you! So well done, well done for bfing for so long i didnt even attempt with J and as guilty as i felt about it at time (tuts and looks from certain family members) im glad now as it turns out he constantly wants food as a comfort, and thank god i can get hubby to feed him when im doing other things.
My house is a tip, but as long as its clean i dont give 2 hoots that theres things all over every room! I cant rem last time i ironed anything in advance were on a need to wear basis with the ironing. Hubbys lucky if ive even thought about tea let alone started cooking it! Like your girls mine are absolutely fine when out shopping, and like Jo i never nip into shops for anything as it turns into such a miss!
I do think it does get better, im struggling with routine as H hardly sleeps and J is so all over the place with how long he decides he wants to go without food, dummy will not soothe him he has to be munching on a bottle half the day lol.
This is why i dont get on much as when i do finally get some time to myself im in bed on fb lol! It is bloody hard and yeah its worth it but its major stressful,emotional and tiring as well! I know we've not caught up much since our 2s births but im here if you need a chat, it does loads of good just to know someone else is having a not so 'perfect' time of it all as well:)
Still wouldnt change it for world - apart from a bit more sleep xxxxxx

michelle&danielle wrote:

I HAD A 19 MONTH AGE GAP BETWEEN MY 2 OLDEST AND MY GOD IT WAS HARD ,,,,, I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE FAMILY AT MY EVERY NEED PLUS I NEVER BREASTFED SO WOULDNT UNDERSTAND HOW HARD THAT COULD BE
I LOST ALOT OF WEIGHT BACK THEN TOO , I WAS RUNNING ABOUT LIKE A HEADLESS CHICKEN BUT MY ARMS WERE HUG LOL! ,,, I HAD A SIDE BY SIDE DOUBLE BUGGY AND THEY WERE NOT AS LIGHTWEIGHT AS THEY ARE NOW
DEFFO TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES
THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT HAVING THEM CLOSE TO GETHER IS THEY ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER TO PLAY WITH ,, TO THIS DAY MY 2 ( 11 AND 9 ) PAL ABOUT TOGETHER
LIKE NIKKI SAYS THE CHANGES OVER THE YEARS IS A BIG WAKE UP CALL ! THERE IS AN 8 YEAR GAP WITH MINE NOW BUT AT LEAST I HAVE THE OLDER ONES WHO LOVE TO HELP OUT X

I completly agree with all that! My 2 older boys are best friends and worst enemies!
I am so glad they are close in age (8 & 10-in 2 weeks) and they love helping out. They could not do enough for Thomas x

i still have days where i feel like im screaming shurruuuppp all day. soon as daddy comes in i go to ,y room and sleep/cry/watch tv. its up to him to keep a tantrum toddler occupied. he helped make them he can bloody well help raise them XD

i do hope ur doing okay. i cant give u any advice other than what already has been said. maras spot on with her wing it description. when the house is quiet at night u sit there and think, wow i got thru today!! okay, i can do it tommo too go for one day at a time, to heck with if u dont gegt housework done that day, ur house isnt going ne where. if u dont manage to get out ur jammies that day, mark it up as a jammie day and drag the quilts to the lounge for good measure!

i now put ben up in his room at nap times, i put the baby monitors on and his door is closed. im lucky he is a sound sleeper.