I BF Caitlin for 8wks, then stopped due to her milk allergy. While it was easy in ways eg she latched on right from day one, I never got mastitis etc part of me was relieved when I had 'permission' to stop. (though i surprised myself when I spent a day or 2 crying/mourning the loss of the bond in my eyes, at that time)
Caitlin fed for an ave of 40min at a time and wanted fed every 90min-2hrs so often only an hr between feeds even at 7/8wks. I was exhausetd, emotional, she never settled or seemed content, screamed for hrs in the evening and then again from 3-6am (obviously that was her allergy). Once she got her special formula from the hospital she was like a whole new baby. Slept longer, fed more efficiently, settled as well as could be expected for her age....

Now when i think about having a 2nd im a bit mixed up about how I feel about BF. I think my experience is a bit squiff as caitlin prob not the best baby to compare. I just keep remembering how tired I was, how long it took, the fact i didnt get to build up the confidence to do it in public so hardly left the house & if i did it was a military operation between feeds... literally off the boob & GO GO GO!!

I know that I can BF, I know its free, convenient, a nice snuggly experience once you get it right BUT then there's part of me that thinks 'well caitlin is healthy & happy on the btl, whats the point in pressurising myself to do it with a 2nd.' Then another voice (i sound crazy lol), says that i did it for Caitlin for 8 wks so I MUST do it for a 2nd child for 8wks to give them the same goodness (But not a day longer as that wouldnt be fair on Caitlin - ha! ).

Did anyone else BF their 1st but not even try with their 2nd?
Do you think there is more pressure to do it for a subsequent child, or are you more likely to give up?

Did you not BF your 1st and so felt that you couldnt even try with your 2nd as it wouldnt be fair? (I have a friend who feels like this, she wished she had tried it with her son but now says she will never try it with any future sibblings as it wouldnt feel right).

Or did you not BF your 1st & it makes/made you more determined to succeed with a 2nd?

I only did about a week with Lily as she was not cooperating and in the end the midwife said to try her with the bottle. I know there is all the stuff about the health benefits etc but to be totally honest if i did have another i would probably not breastfeed as i really didnt find it to be a good experience xx

I tried with Wil. He hated it, the boobies didn't work and it was all a great relief when we gave up on the whole sorry mess.

If I do ever have another one I will mixed feed from day 1. A bit of booby food (probably expressed as I didn't like bfing much) until the proper milk comes in and then onto the bottle.

Wil is 100% healthy, very rarely even has a cold, has never had any other bugs except chicken pox so I think the bottled stuff does the trick perfectly well without exhausting his mother.

I bf H for about 3 months and with Lewis I gave it a go and he took to it straight away but feeding every 2hrs with a toddler to look after and no chance of rest during day took it's toll and I had to give up after 4 weeks as I was a wreck and even crashed the car I was so tired. If I had another I don't think I would bf again 2 stressful with other kids to look after xx

Quote :

the fact i didnt get to build up the confidence to do it in public so
hardly left the house & if i did it was a military operation between
feeds... literally off the boob & GO GO GO!!

I could have written that bit myself lol!

I bf Amelia for 13 months which was when we both decided it was time to move to a cup. She was only on 1 feed a day at this point. But I have to say that apart from very cracked nipples at the beginning and a little trouble getting her to latch on in the 1st 24 hours, I had a VERY VERY easy ride of bf. I was so incredibly lucky. I have to say that bf does get easier in as much as they start to get a bit of routine around their feeds and eat more quickly and less frequently which makes life so much easier. When they have a growth spurt you feel like you're permenantly attached to them, but when you bf and they cry for food it's there ready and waiting. No worrying about sterilising and making up bottles, and of course so much cheaper.

Amelia never took a bottle (not through want of trying) so when/if I have a 2nd I'll try to introduce an expressed bottle much earlier as I'd have liked the option with Amelia. I think that would help with the going out and having to feed in public fear. x

Hi hun. I b/f alfie for 2 weeks and i feel exactly the way you do now. He latched fine, i never had any pain or anything but from the minute he was born he wanted to be fed for 20 mins at a time every 30-40 mins even during the night. I had a long labour (3days) and i was absolutely mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I really wanted to breastfeed and the feeling i got when i was doing it was amazing - the bond was so strong. Knowing i was doing something that noone else could. After a while tho i was getting more and more tired and started to put off feeding him and i felt awful. I was crying all of the time cos i was so tired and i know it wasnt good for him. One night gav told me to get into bed and get some sleep and made him a 4oz bottle and he drained it and slept for 4 hours - it was amazing!! Since then (apart from when he had colic) he has been amazing and i dont regret giving up 1 little bit as i know it was the best for me.

I sometimes think about wat i would do next time and i think i wud like to try it again as i did really enjoy it. My midwife was so good tho and told me the first 5 days is the most important so any additional days after that were even better. I think i probs would try (hopefully get a baby will give me more than 20 mins between feed!) and if it doesnt work out then i wont be too hard on myself.

x

in all honesty hun,in my experience caitlin is a perfect example of a typical bf baby, but it does get a hell of a lot easier after the 1st6-8 weeks.
i fed leo for 13 months, i sufferd with mastitis and sore nipples at the beginning, it was very draning, physically and emotionally. i promised myself that i would mix feed oliver if i had a similar experience and in all honesty i found it more difficult with oliver(more because i had really sore and bleeding nipples) but i put so much pressure on myself because id done ot for leo, so it wasnt fair not to carry on with oliver...this ended up me being in tears, an absolute emotional wreck because i felt like a failure. i ended up giving one formula a day until he was 6 weeks old...then it got a lot easier and was 2nd nature by the.
id like to think, if i have anymore that i wont put so much pressure on myself, of course i will give it a go, but if needs be i will mix feed(easier said than done though when you have all them post baby horemones)
tbh i think if i didnt bf leo, i wouldnt have been as determined with oliver, i thought iv done it once, whats wrong with me why cant i do it again. in the end im so glad i stuck to it, but i did put myself through a lot of stress and i know if i didnt stick to it id have got over it nd he wouldnt be any wose off for it today xx

oh forgot to add i fed oliver till he was 1 too. like i said after the 1st few weeks it does get a hell of a lot easier x

I felt a lot of pressure from my mum & my peers to BF, most of my friends did it and I wanted to be as 'good' a mummy as them - I know now BF doesnt make you a better mummy.

I too worry about how the heck you are meant to manage looking after another child and be sat BF for up to an hr at a time. Do you eventually end up able to walk about doing it one handed? I def couldnt sit every other hr BF and make sure caitlin wasnt scaling the curtains!

Oh god gemz please dont say Caitlin was typical BF baby! It keeps me going that she was only so hard in the 1st few wks due to having allergy eg literally every night from 5pm-midnight screamed solid unless on boob and then fed at 2/3am & screamed in pain, raising knees up, stopping breathing through crying so hard (hv taught me to blow on her face), until 6am when she eventually gave in to sleep. it was heartbreaking to watch - and HV kept blaming me for eating too much fruit/peppers/garlic (which I wasnt) and giving her wind

I suppose i'l not know until I have another baby how i'l cope. Atm I just feel mixed up, I know bottle fed babys are happy & healthy... but then I want to do the same for all my kids..... Argh, why do us mummys put so much pressure on ourselves!

like Lisa I've had an easy ride feeding Arwyn so far, i had a few cracked nipples in the beginning but nothing that put me off. I'm coming to the end of my journey though, since starting a bedtime formula bottle and weaning i'm just not producing as much as i was and Arwyn is feeding from me less. I'd definately do it again for any more babies, providing I find it as easy as this time.
I'd be a bit put off if I had a small age gap between babies though, it's very demanding but I want big gaps

oh no sorry didnt mean to put you off, i just ment the timing...i never got either of mine going any longer than 2 hours till they were weaning but im sure some ladies lo's on here have gone longer. also they both were stuck to my boob each night from around 7-11 i think thats quite normal too, although i do think your experience would have been a lot easier if she didnt have her alergies...i also got blamed for eating the wrong things, oliver had a lot of tummy problems, was even tested for lactose intolerence and dairy intolerec, was told to cut things out my diet...it just eventually got better on its own around when i started weaning do wonder if he would have had that problem had i bottle fed him??

they do learn to get milk quicker though, so feeds do get a hell of a lot shorter, think i got mine down to 10 mins after a couple of months.

just have it in your head that you will mix feed, that way you wont be too dissapointed if it doesnt work out..and people can help out more(easier said than done though, we mums do put a lot of pressure on ourselves, and with no thanx to hv and mw's ) x

I couldn't bf aimee as she was poorly, but I expressed for 2 weeks.

With Lily I did give it a go but it was only for 24 hours. I was still in hospital and she ended up on my boob from 11.30pm to 5.30 am and I was exhausted. I knew there was no way I could function like that with having a toddler running around at home.

I wish I had thought more about it as I would have prepared myself better and got a pump so I could have expressed.

She is on bottles and doing fab, but I'm still exhausted so would probably have had a breakdown by now if I had continued bf x

i bf ava until 8 and a bit months and she stopped on her own accord when her teeth came through , i did find the first few months hard and had a few bouts of mastitis. I would definately do it again though, i think the key is to do what you feels right for you.

i Bf Louis until he was 3 months old (i returned to finish the last 4 weeks of my NVQ) i didnt wean him off the boob i just swapped him straight to formula.

i suffered from sores and bleeding from the nipple but to get over that i just expressed for a while do the odd feed from me until it cleared up. i used to do all his night feeds through the bottle (expressed milk) louis generally went 3 hours between feeds and that didnt change when i put him onto formula.

i think with baby number 2 which im aiming for around a 2 and a half year age gap i will BF again but for only 3 months like i did with Louis it was a lovely age to stop as he was geeting bogger and he didnt fit in BF positions as comfortably and naturally if you get what i mean.

although i say this im sure when the time comes ill decide whats right for me and baby and how well it works with Louis. xx

i know what you mean,+I've been thinkin what i+am going to do with this one.
I+feel they should have the
same amount of feed as paige did.

With paige I
only did it for+a month. I didn't really have much milk as
only one boob kicked in. And+we had to keep topping her up with the bottle. Plus my nipples
kept bleeding. I want to bf with the next but
i don't know if i+will. I at least want to do the+first few days

I bf my first baby for 10 days, I hated everything about it and would have quit at day 3 but was young and bullied by mw but as soon as got Charlotte home I put her on formula and that's when I actually started to enjoy Charlotte and being a mummy!

With my second I put him straight on formula and it was great BUT I did struggle emotionally, not because I thought I depriving him because I know that's bullshit, but because everytime he cried I had a natural urge to bf him, which I fought!! And continued formula and those urges went pretty quick.

When I was having ellie I decided to have one more shot at bf and give it my very best shot. Anyway, just like Charlotte she wouldn't latch on, wanted feeding continuosly and I got no support from mws in the hospital or my mw at home. Before I left hospital the mw suggested I top her up with a bottle which for was the worst thing I could do because ellie seemed much more content with a bottle (both formula and expressed breast milk)! After about 10 days I put her on a bottle and completely stopped bf. I felt a total failure and really beat myself up about it.

But I've 3 very healthy kids. And it's funny because my middle one who never got an ounce of breast milk is so fit and healthy and sporty and suffers less sickness than the girls.

So my advice is do what makes you happy, the baby will be fine anyway!

well I BF Jaiden 4 about 3 months and it was agony all the way It made me all the more determined to get it right with Sophia when I found I was expecting again I really looked into the whole baby led feeding (being placed on ur tummy and them wiggling their own way up and latching on by themselves it can take about 2 hours for this to happen but its what they do in other countries where formula isnt readily available so anyway it all went wrong from the moment she was born I had retained placenta so had to b rushed off 2 theatre so she wasnt put on my tummy like i wanted I was away from her for bout 45 mins when i came back I got her straight on the breast and she latched on so well it was great the mw even said u 2 should b on a breast feeding video well this gave me a huge boost and she stayed on suckling for about an hour NO pain at all

Any way with in 48 hours I had sore cracked and bleeding nipples and had no option but to give in and put her on formula even tho it broke my heart I could bear to hear her tummy rumbling only a day or 2 old

So next time LOL if all goes well during labour and after I will try again but wont get so hung up on it if it dont work I really did put muself through hell with Jaiden and there was really no need to at all

You will just do what feels right for you both at the time and all will be well

both of mine are so healthy thank goodness

i have had two really horrible experiences with breastfeeding, braden was constantly on, wouldnt latch properly and after half a day my nipples were just bleeding constantly, i carried on for about 4 days but it was awful and it made me hate my first few days with him cos i just felt sick when i knew he needed feeding again! Dita latched on perfectly to begin with, the first 24 hours was fine, then it started getting painful again and bleeding etc and i had already made a choice before i went in to hospital that if it didnt work out it didnt and i was going to let myself get miserable about it i would just switch right away, so i breastfed her for two days, continued to part express and part formula for another 2/3 weeks but then there was no milk coming out so i gave up.

All this though, if i ever have a 3rd i will deffinately try it again. Its something i would really love to achieve.
x

Thanks everyone. I kind of think next time Id be more inclined to give it up after a cpl weeks if it was sore/too frequent & not force myself to persevere, which is a shame perhaps. I think I would still try and fully intend to do 1st 5 days.

I admit when BF Caitlin to not understanding when people said that they had to stop BF due to it being painful. (I never had bleeding nipples though!!!). I always thought that it was just something you made the decision to persevere with/seek support or not, it wasnt a reason that you had to stop. Also (from what iv read) many who successfully BF said they too had pain & it was only for 1st few weeks and many stopped before they had given it a proper chance. (Im not getting at anyone, suppose it shows that many who think they cant BF and want to try again in future maybe could)

My attitudes have changed a bit now though. I can see how at times I was very drained from BF & it would have been easier to bottle feed, and I would have been happier/able to enjoy Caitlin more in the early days perhaps, I too began to resent having to feed her.

Its such a moral/emotional minefield. Formula clearly is nutritionally adequate, BF does hurt most women even just at the start & is draining - so why do we do it? I honestly think a lot of people do it due to pressure from friends/family/hv's. I know there are lots of health benefits but its not so straight cut that you are able to point at a child in a dr's office and say if they were BF or btl fed.

I just hope next time it goes well & I reach a contented/nice feeling about BF. If that doesnt happen I think il quit. Why be unhappy for 6mths just to be able to say you BF.

Oh final worry (please no one take offence!), one thing that does put me off btl feeding is that bottle fed babies can be a bit chunky/overweight until they begin weaning. Im not saying all are. Caitlin wasnt really but her formula is dif to standard. Did anyone btl feed and have babys low on centile chart or BF and have them high?

I had a hell first week with callum i started bf and from the start it didnt go well he was literally on my boob nearly every minute of the day it was obviuos he wasent getting enough i spoke to hvs but they wouldnt letme stop i spent the 1st 2weeks crying allday and night with all the stress of BF in the end i drove to my mum becuase i cudnt anymore and my mum went out brought some formula and said just give to him if hv says anything she will sort her i lasted for 10days and my poor callum hardly stopped screaming from hungar. So in all honest i will not bf again i dont care how much stress they put on me i wont do it again. I stopped breastfeeding in the evening by the morning no leaks no nothing so cleary had nothing to give x

Aww that sounds terrible carla. I didnt really leak either though Caitlin was gaining weight steadily so I must have been producing enough.

My 2nd night in hospital was terrible. She literally wanted fed all night and the MW's practically forced me to keep feeding her. I was exhausted and remember standing at the nurses station at 6am crying in front of 2 other mothers that I wanted a btl for Caitlin. They refused to give me one and told me to carry on offering the boob. I was so angry that the mums who didnt even try to BF were being handed btls and they wouldnt even let me try one to get a cpl hrs sleep.

I suppose, in ways, what they did was right as I did end up BF for another 8 wks & perhaps had I given her a btl I would have quit that day. I just remember feeling so alone in the hospital and not really given an option.

I bf Thomas for 3 months and Hannah for 5 weeks and both were hungry little monkeys. I think the thing that surprises new mums the most and puts them off is shear amount of time that newborns are on the breast but I think that is just something you have to accept when making the decision to bf. With your first it's not too bad because you have all the time in the world to do it but with a lively toddler running about and needing attention it makes it very difficult second time round. Having said that I definitely enjoyed bf'ing Hannah a lot more than Thomas and that was purely because I made a conscious effort not to put pressure on myself. I always intended feeding her for the duration of Paul's paternity leave coz obviously he was able to give Thomas the attention whilst I fed Hannah but when he went back after 4 weeks I took each day as it came and decided after giving it a week that we would all be happier if we switched to bottles.

If I had another (I won't be!) I would deffonately bf again but just whilst paul was on paternity and then see how it went. In answer to your 'weight' question snoop I would have to disagree as both of mine put on a lot more weight whilst bf and then slowed down and dropped a centile when I switched to ff. Hannah put on 5lb in 5 weeks whilst bf'ing lol.

xx

the weight thing...leo was always a chunk till i stopped bfing, oliver was a real chunk till i started weaning then dropped to the 9th centile when i introduced formula, so quite the opposite there xx

I can't remember which centile my first was on but she was always quite dainty even though she was the heaviest at birth.

But there's no getting away from the fact that my second two were proper chunky monkeys

I think id just got the weight idea in my head because you hear people saying about the centile charts being made years ago and mainly using btl fed babies, therefore women who were BF are told not to panic too much if their LO is slightly lower on scale.

Most of the btl fed babies I know were a bit chunkier up until 7/8mths. In saying that there are exceptions. One BF baby I know was litereally the fattest baby I have ever saw. He's a healthy sized toddler now but I used to laugh with his mum about what was in her milk.