.....................just meh

Cant pin point it. Im tired but if i go to bed early i dont sleep well. Dozed off on sofa this am while C was watching tubbies and woke up to find her nappy had exploded and there were crystals everywhere. It wasnt like it had been on 3 days or anything. It had been put on bedtime last night and it was 8am, i was gonna take her up to change it before i dozed off so felt terrible a)id dozed off and left her to her own devices in morning AGAIN (she keeps waking at 630 and im so tired. I lie on sofa in lounge with both stair gates shut and she plays with her flashcards and watches tubbies) and b)poor kid was covered in nappy crystals. Cleaned her up and hoovered. Finally plucked up courage to take her to toddler gorup down the road (the thought of going into a room full of strangers makes my teeth itch but thought it would be nice for her) onyl to find id forgotten it was bank hols. So ended up taking her to park for 20 mins then an hours walk round old town as had cabin fever.

Not just tired, unmotivated. Hard work wanting to get me or her dressed. We both did the scruffy tracky bottoms and t shirt thing today. So fed up of feeling sick. Even the thought of having a drink making me feel sick last couple of days. Hard to make myself eat i just dont wanna and if i dont feel even more rubbish. Hard to want to be at work, its all i can do not to keep ringing in sick cos i just feel rubbish and everyone sirritating me, im so grumpy, last couple of shifts just wanted to cry.

Thank god for C, she knows just how to make me laugh and cheer me up. Feel like i dont do enough for her, play with her enough or do enough quality things with her. Not reading anything to do with unpleasant things at mo cos i keep seeing her in those situations in my head and it makes my stomaach clench.

Im sure im just tired and whining. Ive just been doing so well since i stopped my citalopram and now feeling so blech.

Sorry no real point to this just moaning, feel free not to answer lol

Awww hun. Dont beat yourself up about dozing on the sofa, C wasnt in any harms way and whats an exploding nappy??? Nowt!!

I really feel for you hun you work some god-damn long hours!!!

Your bound to feel shitty if your have sickness so bad! I hope it passes for you soon darlin xxxxxxx

Love you. You know where I am if you need a chat

I hope your feeling a little better today?

You really are under alot of pressure and also your putting way to much pressure on yourself! You are doing a gabby job with C!
I agree what's an exploded nappy and falling asleep for a bit, she's safe and that's the point!
I've fallen asleep a few times when my eldest was young, working nights takes it's toll especially with children and not to mention being pregnant!
Give yourself a break! Your human not superwoman!

Is there anything the doc could give you for the sickness? One lady on ab was given anti nausea meds I'm not sure if it was a one off or a course though.

Oh your poor thing, I wish I could just bring Milo over so the pair of them could rampage together and you could relax! You must be so exhausted, you're just one person (albeit it a very amazing one!) and you're trying to cope with looking after a stunt baby, being pregnant and coping with a very stressful job! I struggle doing only 1 of those things!

Just try and tell yourself something amazing about you or what you've done every day, because you're doing so much! Big hugs to you!

Mario, you arent alone hun,

i felt like this all the time when i was in early PG, all i can say is it will pass chick and as guilty as you feel, it cant be helped so ride it out. you are not doing anything wrong and i am pretty sure my whole first trimester, on my days off from work me and Alice never got dressed.

if you need a chat give us a shout xxxx

Big (((((hugs)))) I completely agree with everything everyone else has said. You're entitled to an off day, month or even longer. You have to keep soooo many balls in the air and sometimes you need to put them down and take a break. Lots of love xxx

Thanks guys, you have all managed to reduce me to tears being so sweet. I hate to say it but i keep having days at moment when i think oh crap i just cant ride this out til march. Dont suppose i have much choice now lol and its just a fleeting thought i have at times when im feeling really ill. I do know how lucky i am though and dont get me wrong im happy im having another lil stunt bubba im just feeling rubbish. I dont even think it is depression returning though i was worried about that for last few days, i think im just really bad at pregnancy. Deffo the last time for me, im clearly shit at it, i hate the person i turn into when im preg, its so different from the person i am normally.

Lazyish afternoon today, full morning as took my mum to do her weekly shop and pay her bills this morning and took c to park after but i think her mouths hurting since waking up from the nap she had after cos we are home now and shes gone and pulled out her bouncy chair and laid down in front of cbeebies with her bunny so i have given her a strawberry smoothie and some biscotti and im chilling out on here while she watches big barn farm. Gotta put some laundry on but think i may have a chill for 20 mins or so 1st.

Sorry ive been moaning, normal service to be resumed shortly i promise

Aw like I said on your other post, I honestly could not work as much as you do, as well as looking after a crazy toddler whilst being pg. You're an amazing mummy, anyone can see that. Hope you're feeling better soon ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) xxx

awwww i hate your feeling so rubbish.

if i were closer i'd pop round make you a cuppa, clean up and make you some nice lunch so you can chill.

hope your feeling a little better

Kelly & Row wrote:

awwww i hate your feeling so rubbish.

if i were closer i'd pop round make you a cuppa, clean up and make you some nice lunch so you can chill.

hope your feeling a little better

aw thankyou, wish you were, not to clean and cook lol but just to meet you and row

awww Mario, sorry you're feeling sooo down. When i was pg with Cerys the doctor said it was ok to reduce down to 20mg Citalopram and since having her gone back to 40mg. Or is it your choice not to take anything while pg?? If ever i have missed a few days tabs, i can feel myself getting down and having no motivation, being tired all the time.

Bloody hormones as well , men haven't got a bloody clue. Sending you lots of love xx

This might help .............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3rP-8mWWeY

Cheers meg, will watch 2moro when oh not watching tv or he will be grumpy

No i chose to stop prior to ttc. Been doing really well so far and my writing helping a lot. I dont think its coming back i think its tiredness its just some of the symptoms seem familiar - being antisocial, not wanting to get dressed, bein short tempered and unmotivated and not sleeping well plus the constant feeling im letting c down - but i suppose logically all the above can just be caused by being hormonal and tired too. will see how I feel in a few weeks after my holiday and when i get to 12 weeks, maybe a week away will be the trick eh

Thanks though girls you lot rock

Ahh hun big hugs - you are a fabby mummy and I agree with Jo I was just like this in the beg and I do a crappy desk job so you are doing amazing hun. Really dont beat yourself up about a crappy nappy - I struggle keeping up with Hannah after 6am starts and she is far from a stunt baby

Hope the sickiness passes soon as thats bad enough in itself it really does take it out of you even when not being sick just the constantly feeling it is tiring
xx

Mario - the vid is only 16 secs long..............go on u know u want to watch it x

Lol meg. Inciting a riot?

PMSL you have to watch it now you said that !!! x

marioandthestuntbubs wrote:

I dont think its coming back i think its tiredness its just some of the symptoms seem familiar - being antisocial, not wanting to get dressed, bein short tempered and unmotivated and not sleeping well plus the constant feeling im letting c down - but i suppose logically all the above can just be caused by being hormonal and tired too. will see how I feel in a few weeks after my holiday and when i get to 12 weeks, maybe a week away will be the trick eh

You said it all here. Was thinking the exact same thing.

I have had PND and depression on and off in the past and I agree that a lot of the symptoms you feel in early pregnancy due to hormonal changes are very similar to those of depression. I felt like this for about the first 16 weeks and then again at the end of my pg, (but I think that was more to do with the beach ball sized belly I was humping around!)

I echo what everyone else has said, you do so much and all this while be pg too! Don't be hard on yourself!!

Hope it doesn't last too much longer x x

Oh and Leah's video had me in stiches!! x

Lol@video very funny. Thats what my riot fish does only with spikes too so watch out if you are misbehaving girlies!

Went to bed at 10 last night and bar 5 mins at 6 when i threw OH out of bed to make c a bottle cos im fed up of him lying there pretending to be asleep I slept til 0730 so i feel much better today for the 1st time in days, even my nausea feels less somehow weirdly. Am on nights tonight so had a wee doze while c ate brekkie in front of tubbies and when she ha a nap later will get me head down. Was gonna spend today doing housework but im tempted to only do the bit thats really irritating me - the kitchen and get OH to do the bathroom

awww glad you're feeling a bit better. Sounds like Neil needs to pull his finger out a bit. But then saying that if i ever ask Karl to do anything for Cerys its usually half a job or not up to my standards Hope you get a tidy kip later on xx

Well i got 40 mins in total as she only had an hour in the end. Gonna try and persuade her into her cot in half an hour once ive put the chicken for dinner in the oven. Wish me luck, i hate going to work at night on less than an hours kip. Ive done the kitchen and tidied and hoovered downstairs so im leaving the bathroom for his nibs to do when he has her while im sleeping tommorrow. Just gotta put a laundry load on and put the bins out this afternoon and im calling that me all done.

Was contemplating going to see a friend but im still feeling quite antisocial so im spending the afternoon with my favourite person (lil chicky) instead. We have vh1 on for some background tunes and are chilling out drawing piccies. Laters girlies xxx