For those of you who know my eldest sons situation...he has recently split with his gf. Now they do this every so often and then get back together, but this time has been the longest they've been apart ( a week). I have tried speaking to him but he keeps his feelings very guarded indeed. Even at the beginning of their relationship, when there were photo's of her plastered over facebook, getting off with another lad at a party, he still didn't show how hurt he was!

So anyway, this morning I read on her fb page a comment she had made and her aunt had replied calling him a 'little git'. Got my blood boiling!!! It's not the first time she's commented about him on there either. But I didn't reply before as I didn't want to cause any friction. Now I'm sure if it were my daughter or niece that was heartbroken and telling me the things her bf had said or done I'd be angry too. Just as I was when I found out about her deceit before. But I wouldn't go name calling on fb!! In fact when she cheated, I had a polite word with her over fb chat, I was respectful towards her yet made my point.

Now I'm wondering if I've been out of order with what I've written in response to her Aunt. I'd be grateful for your honest opinions. I've copied the convo from his gf's fb page and have changed names out of respect for them.

A'S GIRLFRIEND
why Are Youu A Twat Jus Stop Messing Me Around N Make Your Mind Up!!
15 hours ago · Like · Comment
5 people like this.

SCHOOL FRIEND U tell erm:) how are u getting on anywayz babyy?? Xxx
15 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like

SCHOOL FRIEND hope your okay babe ? xxx
15 hours ago · Like

A'S GIRLFRIEND Yh i will be okaii, n yeah your rite he is a user xx
15 hours ago · Like

SCHOOL FRIEND yeaah i told you that babe xx
15 hours ago · Like

SCHOOL FRIEND hope ur okay bbe xx
14 hours ago · Like

SCHOOL FRIEND ‎:/ hopee your okaay babe xxx
14 hours ago · Like

AUNT hes doing it as a form of control hun dont bite, that little git needs to learn that hes lucky to have u not the other way around xxxx
13 hours ago · Like · 1 person

ME Little git eh?!!! No one's perfect....!
So sorry to hear things are still strained, I know how difficult it can be with all those hormones flying around, for BOTH sides. I'm sure you guys will work through things eventually. We all have our ups and downs.
Like I said before, I'm here if you need me, whatever happens x x x
3 hours ago · Like

AUNT'S DAUGHTER Well Tbh EveryOne Has There Own Opinions And From Were Mum Has Seen It Hes A Twat Tbh! The Way he Talks To Her! Were Not All Perfect But There You Go! Hope Ur Okaay A'S GF (:
2 hours ago · Like

ME You are right Gemma, and we do all have our own opinions and are entitled to them. It IS out of order for him to treat A'S GF disrespectfully too. But it is their relationship and lets face it, they've both made their mistakes. I just think an adult name calling a minor on here, is out of order. And yes, of course I'm going to stick up for him...he's my son!! Just as your family stick up for her. I'm sure if A'S GF was crying on my shoulder, telling me all what's gone on I'd feel angry too!! I just hope they sort things out and can both be happy.
14 minutes ago · Like

OK this is where it was up to when I started writing this thread. Then she replied and I had to go out for the day so didn't get to finish this thread, but I'd still appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Here's what followed....

AUNT i apologise for calling A a git but if hes this bad now then what is he going to be like in the future, i was pregnant at A'S GF age and ended up in a controlling relationship for 17 years coz i didnt have the ability to get out and thought it was normal, and that i should stay with the childrens dad and it wasnt till i was 30 something that i realised and i dont want the same happening to A'S GF. I think the best thing is to go their separate ways but to be there for the baby. A has got a long way to go to learning that you respect females and dont manipulate them, and A'S GF is a human being with a mind of her own and can see, talk to whoever she wants it is not up to A !!!!!!!!!!!!!
6 hours ago · Like

ME Sorry to hear of your bad experience AUNT. I totally support what you say! Please bare in mind, there are two sides to this though. I take on board what you say and will do my best in supporting them whatever way they go x
5 hours ago · Like

AUNT yes Jo you are correct there are 2 sides, and noone is perfect but they have so much to learn in life, and you cant undo what is done, unfortunately. they both are so young and are going to need so much support whether they stay together or not. it is going to be a very very long hard road to travel and this is just the beginning x

Just incase it's a bit confusing...A is my son, A'S GF is, well yes his girlfriend and AUNT is her aunt. You probably got that though!! x x

Crikey!! Sorry it's so long and thanks for reading! x

You weren't out of order at all! You stuck up for you son in a really dignified way without causing drama or arguments, i don't think i could have handled it that well!

Bravo you!! So diplomatic but supporting your son too. TBH I think AUNT needs to stop interfeering as yes she's been in a similar situation but everyone is different and it doesn't mean she can tar your son (publically) with the same brush as her ex.

They are both children and although they have made a very adult decision to carry on with the pregnancy AUNT cannot begin to expect that every decision or action from either A's GF or A will be thought out nor adult! They both need support.

I think it's very childish of her to go commenting on her neices FB, she sounds just like one of her school friends. I'd be very dissapointed with her x

Corr i think you handled that very well! Well done, i hope they sort things out x

errr but WTF is the aunt sticking her nose in for anyway!

No you werenot out of line - she is tarring him with the brush of her previous fellas and thats not on

Thank you ladies!

Phew, I was a bit worried there. As much as I'd love to comment on my son's FB and his GF a lot of the time, I try to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself as it's just not my place. But this time I felt I had to. Believe me, I didn't write what I felt inside!!

x

You handled that perfectly. I would of been throwing insults back at the aunt

You handled that brilliantly! I would have gone in screaming like a banshee and then having to apologise later on. Well done.

AUNT needs to keep her nose out of their business. She should never 'name call' on fb.

x

AUNT needs to learn some dignity and you are just the lady to teach her! I would have gone in all guns blazing and I think we can all learn something from you Hop!

Xx

I agree with the others u reacted briallantly xx

agree with everyone else you handled that brilliantly and turned it round so well. I would have just left it at the first line and started an argument lol.

Your reply was a lot nicer than what mine wouldof been, she def needs to butt out its nothing to do with her at all, just because of her past doesnt mean she can say things like that anyway, esp not on a social networking site
x

Your reply was very diplomatic hun you did the right thing supporting your son....

One more thing, I hate when people type Like This All The Time It Seems Like A Waste Of Time To Me lol xx

I aplaud you for handling that so well. I would have seen what shed written and gone off on one, you came across very diplomatically. As an adult she shouldn't be sticking her nose into the kids problems, they have made the decision to have the baby and it will also be their decision wehter they stay together.

Well done Jo

you handled it brilliantly, wish I had your diplomacy hehe

hope is well with A and baby

xxx

I think you handled it very well hops. I also think shes being unfair saying he is being controlling. Even if he is messing his gf about (and im not saying he is) a more charitable view could be that hes scared and overwhelmed by some pretty huge life changes

Hops..well done for sticking up for your son. The comments by the aunt are totally ridiculous and none of her damned business. She is just as immature as A's gf! Hope things sort themselves out hun. xxx

Jo

I think you were just right hun sticking up for Alex. The aunt had no right name calling as Lisa G said she is getting on like a school friend. As for saying Alex is a little git and a twat as I have said before he has stuck around when guys twice his age and older would have run a mile. I have no doubt that he will be a great dad whether or not they are together or not.

Ahh thanks for the support ladies. I feel so much better.

I must say the thought of playing the Grandma on the Dad's side scares the hell outta me, and this is probably the first of many situations we'll encounter along the way. We have a long journey ahead of us, and yes I'll be the first to admit A can be a bit of a 'twat' (I can say that because I'm his mother!) but I have no doubt he will try to do the best by his son.

I think people seem to expect them to become adults just because they are having a baby. Yes this will change them and yes their lives will change dramatically, but they are still just teenagers. They are both going to be supported through this and I'm hoping it will go smoothly (pah..who am I trying to kid!) well whatever happens, we'll deal with it when it happens.

Thanks again for your support ladies, it really means a lot x x x

Urgh - you were ridiculously well restrained and articulate - can't say the same for the "adult" that is the aunt. The woman clearly has issues and is projecting onto her neice, instead of supporting her. The girl doesn't need a 'mate' at present, she needs someone with a bit of wisdom and strength (enter hops... ) who can help her focus on herself and baby and to have some calmness to deal with this relationship stuff at the same time. Not someone whipping her into a frenzy and causing extra stress while plastering everything over FB

Also, if this is how the aunt is carrying on now, what on earth will she be like once baby arrives? Bad-mouthing baby's father every chance she gets? Undermining their relationship, if they are still together, or being a poisonous influence if they are apart? You do right to comment now, and try to nip it in the bud, but I get the impression 'Aunt' won't be easily influenced or listen to sense for that matter. She comes across slightly unhinged (with a very big chip on her shoulder about her own past!) but this situation is nothing to do with her...

So, if it persists or worsens she needs to be told to back off - she should be supportive but impartial as clearly this young girl is capable of making her own choices. You are probably more than aware of this already and no, you are not out of order at all. But I would caution that although it makes your blood boil to try and continue as you are - trying not to waste your energy on people so clearly not relevant or rational.

Hope all is well with you, keep up the good work xx

nope i dont think u was out of order, you kept is preety calm.. i wouldnt of been able too x