How many hours a week does your oh see your child/children?

I have added up what James would see the kids and he sees aimee 14 hours a week, including weekends (max). This is out of an available 28 hours that he could be available.

I realise that people work, but wanted an idea of how time not working is split between social and family time x

Luke works often works quite late and sometimes doesnt get to see Tayla before she goes to bed But on a normal work day he gets home at 5.30pm-ish and she goes to bed at 7.30pm he baths her and puts her to bed. Then he spends all weekends with us and gets up with her on Sundays

Paul doesn't really go out as such apart from fat club on a wednesday so he sees
them 4.30 - 7.30 each weekday (4.30 - 6.30 on a weds) and then all day on sat
and sun. So what's that? erm? 38 hours I guess.

Having said that - that's not
all 'quality time' as he has to be nagged most nights to get off his computer
and spend an hour quality with them but he is here to support me so it's not too
bad.

He has just announced that he is going to start playing badminton with his
boss two nights a week but that doesn't start till 7 so it will reall only
reduce it by 1-2 hours a week max.

I have told you many times that there is no
way on gods earth I would put up with the way James is out all day sat and
sunday with football and pub and nights out etc. He is a VERY lucky man in that
respect as I don't know many men that would get away with that. The number of
times you have had to sacrifice things and rearange because of James's football
takes the piss tbh hun.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying he should give it up
but most deffinately not saturday AND sunday and then go down the pub and go out
of an evening AS WELL! I'm afraid it would be one or the other in this house. I
probably sound like a right control freak but Paul wanted these kids as much as
I did and he has to make the odd sacrifice too.

As for going to the pub on the
way home from work - I'm sorry I just wouldn't put up with that AT ALL! no way
on earth - he would be out of the door before his feet can touch the ground!


James need to make some decisions hun! he needs to man up and be there for his
family or his girls are going to grow up remembering a daddy that was never
there and always with his mates instead of them and to me that's not acceptable.
He is currently choosing his mates over his babies (and wife) and it can't carry
on hun. He needs to realise how bloody lucky he is. We should do 'wife swap' hun
- one week living under my rules and he would be home like a shot realising
exactly how lucky he is to have a wife like you and not like me

Seriously though - I do think you have done the
right thing and he needs to really have a good long think about his life. I hope
so much that he comes to his senses and comes home with his tail between his
legs because I know how much you guys do love each other. Stay strong hun - I'm
always here for you but you both need to makes some decisions and talk to each
other. I know he is a typical useless man who wont 'talk' but it's gone too far
this time


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
xx

My hubby leaves the house at 7:50am every morning to get to work for 9 and finishes work at 3 so is home at about 4:10pm I've worked out he spends 72 hours a week with us but he doesn't work Sat or Sun though and he never goes out (his choice as his friends live further afield) When he sees his friends he tends to go away for a weekend (like what I'm doing this weekend as my friends live in the Chilterns) My husband is and I are, very shy so we aren't the going down the pub/going clubbing every Fri or Sat night type of people (although in my younger free and not tied down with kids years I used to go clubbing with my friends) xxxxx

its a hard one but a normaly week ian works 7am till 7 pm with 2 days off a week when he sees the girls in his 2 days off and we spend the 2 days off as a family! BUT i have to admit if he has a day off work and i am at work he sometimes takes the girls to his mums and comes home so he can "do things at home" ie play his stupid ps3

well pete has a set 35hours a week which is either a early shift untill 5pm max and late shift which is 12.45 - 9.45 so if hes only the early he will see callum for atleast 3-4hrs n a nighshift 3-4hrs max again x
Most of that hes in he rarely goes out when he does seems to be a period where he will go out a few times then nothing for months xx

Prob a bit diff for us as my oh works shifts so gets to see them every day for a least a couple of hours and his days off vary which we spend together. He very rarely goes out either x

Mark gets in from work at about 6.30 so has an hour before she goes to bed.

He spends every bit of the weekend/ holidays with her. Bear in mind that he is 43 and this is his first child, he spent years out on the beer so he was happy to give it all up!

my ex hardley sees them when you add it all up, even when he was here he would rather have been out most opf the time
now he sees then usually 6pm when he picks them up till bedtime(so oliver 7pm, ill bet he puts leo bed at 7 too even though i let him go about 8 now) so that 5 hours, plus 2 hours on a sunday when we go to his mums house

so all in all around 7 hours a week

he works weekdays 9-5 then weekends 8:30-4:30

Well i'm the one who is at work.. my OH stays at home with Tyler but Tylers at nursery mond wed and fri till 1.45 where I pick him up.
So I see Tyler in the morning before work (we take it in turns to get up with him) and then Mond Wed Fri I see him from 1.45 till 7 when he goes to bed, Tue Thu normally from 3 or 4 till 7
We all spend all weekend together.

Neither of us do other things separately away from eachother we both wanted children and we both do everything together x

my oh see's them for an hour before work - then he gets home at 4:30pm, or 3:30 on a friday and he sees them until they go to bed at 6:45pm, then all day sat and sun.
My oh doesnt go out at all cos he is very family orientated and if we go out we go as a family.
x

Probably an hour and a half 4 evenings a week plus his 2 days off though like others have said hes not spending every min with her as he tends to putter ahbout and sometimes has to be reminded we are both there. So 6 hours from evenings and 20 hours on the weekend maybe? 26 hours? Maybe a little more sometimes and a little less sometimes. I think the figure isnt the be all and end all if its quality time

I see Rowan 4 days a week then the other 3 for about 3 hours each day.

5 days of the week its 3 hours per day for OH, 1 full day and Saturday is from 4pm to bed time as he's at work again

I absolutely 10000000% agree with Debs!!

We do everything as a family in this house, apart from when were working! Chris is the kids main carer, so I would say he does more with them than me.

I agree with occasional nights out to let your hair down, or a nip to your mates every now and again, & even a sport once a week or so.....but not them all.......EVERY week (and it sounds like most days!)

No chance, its bloody hard work having these 2, and we both agreed to it.....so we will do it together, or hes out on his arse!!

My oh works what ever hours he fancies really as he manages all his own work.
He tends to see C for an hour in the mornings, comes home at about 3 and is around until his bedtime between 6 and 7, we then mostly spend the weekends together as a family.

I go to college three nights a week and will be putting charlie into a nursery for one day a week so i can keep up with assignments but he is in bed by the time i go of an evening.

ummm hubby spends all day with eli pretty much - if he is at uni he is out for 3 or 4 hours, or if he is on placement its more and he is out 10 or so hours, but if he doesn't have commitments like that he is home with us or out walking/swimming whatever we are doing. he does go out on his own to ride his bike/tinker with bikes in the garage, but that's only if we both agree it's a good time (same as if i want to go for a wander or something i will go if the boys are settled and hubby isn't trying to get something else done)

ours is odd as marc works 12 hour shifts 3 days one week 4 days the next but since last jan he has had so much over time he hasnt had the days off so when he works these are what he gets

06:30 - 18:30 shift - he gets in and has his dinner so say 7pm he gets 45mins
18:30-06:30 shift - when ever he gets up til 6pm normally 3 / 4 hours

days off he gets her up then does add jobs about the house but never goes out with his mates he would rather spend his free time at home with us
so each week varies but he sees her as much as possible x

Its a bit different for us, as Dan works at home...so we have lunch together and she often raids his office...

but not counting that, as in just proper time when he is not working...

He will play/sit with her for at least an hour each evening (I make him!)
Then most night I get him to help with her bedtime, so thats another 30 mins a night

On the weekends it really depends if he is working, if he is its the same as above, if its not then he can spend the whole day with her. Although even when he works weekends I do make sure he gives her at least one of her meals each day!

It is very annoying that he doesn't just do the time with her automatically, if I am there then he thinks I will feed/entertain etc, which of course I dont mind AT ALL, but I want them to have a good relationship so I do make him spend time with her...and he enjoys it!

On the weekend if he isnt working I stay in bed til late and that means he has to dress her, feed her and play with her...but if I get up he just wont do it!

Lilly's dad see's her for 4 hours a week

Matt gets in from work between 6 and 6.30 and spends until her bedtime which is usually around 7.30/8 playing with her, bathing her and putting her to bed while I catch up with dinner/washing up/ work etc 5 days a week so that's 7.5 hours a week, he does see her in the mornings for about half an hour but we're all rushing around trying to get out of the house so I don't count that. Then weekends he's pretty much around the whole weekend with her and it's usually me that nips off to do other things. He always gets up with her on the weekends and gives her breakfast and takes her for a walk which if I'm not working means I get a lay in. So I would say about 10 hours a day per day on the weekends he's with her.

So around 27 hours a week. If either of us go out in the evenings then we always try and make it after she's gone to bed. I'm quite lucky that he wants to be with her as much as possible really

Well said Debs. Totally agree. If James needs a second wife swap you can send him here and I will reinforce Debs teaching and add a bit (he needs to be a good cook, clean the house, walk the dogs twice a day, manage all the finances and work full time)

Philip and I work the exact same hours (we travel to work together regularly) and he does all the above but still manages to spend about 1/2 hour a day with Wil on work days, excluding travelling time when Wil is with us. He generally spends a few minutes in a morning while I get ready then does bedtime stories. I see to Wil in a morning and evening while P is taking the dogs out.

At weekends if we are just at home I have had to remind P that we are here or he goes off and does 'jobs'. He has recently decided (without prompting) that we should spend Saturdays together doing something fun then Sunday doing all the house type jobs, once we have been swimming, and Wil gets to help so he is still with P some of the time.

P also has Wil on his own overnight if I am away with work and still manages to walk the dogs thanks to a helpful neighbour who comes over once Wil is in bed for an hour.

I know it's different as we're not together but Alfie's dad has him from about 1pm on Thursday till 5pm on Friday. So that's 28 hours, minus the 13 that he's in bed, and the 3 that he naps so i'd say 12 'proper' hours.

But then, like this week when he doesn't have him for whatever reason he won't see him for 2 weeks x

Dave is pretty good. He generally spends at least an hour with her after work (sometimes less if he HAS to work later). If he has plans for the evening then he goes after Amelia is in bed (8pm) apart from on a Weds when he plays tennis but he finishes work on time to get his hour in. On a weekend he will be with her almost all the time. If he wants to go to the gym he does it before she gets up in the morning or during nap time. Sometimes he goes somewhere without us but it's occasional and I do so too.

He gets up early to go to the gym in the week so that he doesn't have to go straight from work and miss out seeing Amelia.

Stuart see's Caitlin 11.15am - 8pm mon- fri. We lucky that he only works PT and does the early shift. Thats 9hrs a day but if you take out her nap, and the fact that he usually takes 1-2 hrs kip... its maybe only 6hrs.

Sat and Sunday he is with us all day (well minus naps again). He only goes out once every 6 weeks to the pub in the evening and has no hobbies to speak of.

Stuart easily spends 50 hrs a week with Caitlin, agree with other ladies though that some of that time he can be 'there' but not engaged with her eg watching tv etc.

There should be a happy medium. In ways I think it would benefit us here if stu had more hobbies, worked more hrs... then we may appreciate the family time more, rather than just wasting it. We rarely go out as a family, bar tesco odd shopping trip, or soft play. Its not like we at the park every afternoon.

I think its to do with the % of hrs available spent with family and the quality of that time xxx

Laura

Giving a man's point of view. i told my OH James behaviour and this is what he said:

He needs to grow up and stop being so fcking selfish!!!. there is no need to go to the pub all the time and putting the pub and your friends and sports before your kids is shameful.

He should be ashamed of his actions and he's not a man, for not standing by his kids or his wife.