I hurt so much and feel physically sick at what my ex oh is doing to my kids !! He wont have anything to do with them because i wont take him back ! His kids love him so much an cry for him its eating them up with sadness !! I dont know what to say to them ! He wont give maintenece either !! And he knows i have no money as i havnt been able to work because he hasnt had them ! I txt him today to ask for some and said his kids had no food or heating and he said good !!!! An he needed the money to go out and get drunk to get over me !! Also he is out with my brother who i txt in end and tild him to choose me and his neices and newphew or stand by and watch what the kids dad doing to him and he chose the ex :0(

Time to get the law involved hun. To sum it up in one word - Abandonment! Shame on him..shame his love for his kids are attached with strings. I'm not sure what the process is over there, but over here, he could get put into jail for not providing for his kids. I am so sorry you and those beautiful children are suffering by his hands. Thinking of you hun. xxx

omfg! ur ex in an arse but thats LOW of ur brother

mibi need to go thru official channels to get him to pay up? nitromos his car, fill the exhaust with expanding foam!!

i havnt been around much on here as im just trying to sort myself out.. i need a solicitor but i cant afford to pay for one.. im so broken at the moment this isnt how i wanted me or the kids to live like or through :O(

Sorry Hun haven't got any real advice but just wanted to give you a virtual hug. Your oh is a dick and doesn't deserve such beautiful kids. I hate it when people use the kids to get at their ex's. Have you sought any advice re money etc. If there is anything I can do let me know xxxxxxx

OMG Emma, I am absolutely sickened by his behaviour, and your brother too. What about approaching his parents as well as the child support people? x

his parents havnt spoke to me since the last time we split. they only saw kids at christmas anyway and he doesnt see them either.. my brother did this alsolast time.. dan did have the kids last weekend as we had agreed up my brothers flat ..which i was very wary off as my brother had alot of peope up his flat ..he is 21 and he isnt clean or tidy and to many dick heads go up there.. dan and my brother re assured me not one person would go up there whilst my kids was there... and when my daughter come home she told me there was loads of girls up there smoking!!.so i asked them why and asked dan why he lied and put others first and not his children ..or me And i say me because for 2 weeks he been givingme bullshit about how much he loves me and he has relised how badly he has treated me these 13 years and i didnt deserve the painhe put me through!!!!!! he rekons he was going to show me and change .. and then does this.. in the txt i had off him and my brother today ..all with txts saying drop dead .. ima useless mother im a weirdo a freak im to fat to ever have another man and they are just afew of the insults they have sent me .... all because i asked for no oneto be aroundmy kids who i didnt know

That is the lowest of the low, I'm sorry yourgoing through this hun x

awwww Emma what a complete bastard like Jen said, get some legal advice, I'm sure you would qualify for Legal Aid or at least free advice from a solicitor. Sending you hugs xx

i dont qualify for lega aid.. but i suppose i wilas i will have to give up work.. which im finding really hard to do :O(

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/en/legalaid/calculator.jsp have a read of this hun x

Oh Emma ((((hugs)))). I hate to say this but I'm not surprised, by either of them! As the other ladies have said, seek help hun. Go to the CAB, they will advise you of your rights and the help that's available and contact the CSA. If it were me I would tell the kids that Daddy is having some difficulties just now and he loves them very much but he just has to sort things out. You wouldn't be saying that for him of course but to try and lessen the pain for your babies. He's a fukwit and doesn't deserve any of you but your babies don't deserve what he's doing to them. He's hurting right now and he's taking it out on you all. This will pass hun, I promise. Just stay strong and true to yourself. Get some help and keep moving forward. You will get there x x x

i dot think im strong enough any more i have so many bills i need to work .im finding it difficult to accept that i may have to go on benifits :O(. i have alway been proud of my work and what i have acheived .. tonight i am at work as my mum offerd to help but she can only do it this once.. and she just had to fone me because my 4 year old is in tears thinking i have left him to :O(

Omg what a bunch of pricks!
So sorry your going through this emma xx

MiniMeg wrote:

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/en/legalaid/calculator.jsp have a read of this hun x

i had emailed eric robinsn earlier but i dont qualify for legal aid yet

awww bummer, its not fair is it??!! People who really need the help, cant get it x

so sorry Emma

i wish i could feel all your hugs ..so greatly needed right now xx

Hunny, I know you won't beleive me but it does get better. Your oh is using the kids to hurt you. Soon he'll stop this crap. It will get better. Sending hugs xx

question is if he is dooing it to hurt me .. do i let him back in when he sees fit.. just to walk again if i dont do what he wants ?? i would rather he staed away fro good.. if he can do this to them in the first place he doesnt deserve them ever x

OMG Emma, I cant believe you are going through this. I cant imagine how you or your lovely kids are feeling. Sending you some hugs xx

i do very much appreciate all your lovely hugs and thoughts. xx i didnt think it was possible to feel so low x

You must qualify for tax credits Hun unless your job pays more the £30 k ish!!
Get down to cab and ask the questions there! They may find legal advisor for you
You also need csa to make him pay!
Don't ignore the bills phone the companies and explain! Gas and elec cannot cut you off as you have young kids so remember that when panicking about bills..

I wish I could be more help Em

Remind kiddies you love them and your all that matters loads and loads of hugs xxx

get onto the csa hun, make him pay.
i honestley cant believe he is doing this...what a total nob, it sounds to me like the children will eventually be better off without him, although they miss him now he is usung them as a tool against you, emotional blackmail, its so wrong
get onto tax credits also you should be entitled to help as well as childcare

tc xxxxx

I wish I had some advice, but I couldnt advise you to do anything I would do, which would be to hunt the fecker down and hit him around the head with something hard.

He is an idiot and should be showing you what a good dad he is, not being a total prick and not wanting to see his kids.

You must be devastated what he is doing to them.

Remember, you are a brilliant mummy and your kids will always remember you for being there for them through this xx