I take Oliver to a few toddler/play groups through the week and on Tuesday we meet up with friends who have LO's the same age (have been doing this since he was 6mth and we go to some of the play groups with them too).

Up untill he turned 2 he was fine, but recently he's getting really bully'ish The other week on a playdate with his old friends he kept pushing one of them over and the other one he kicked in the head
I was so embarrassed. Both times I remove him from the group for 2 mins and I tell him to apologise and say 'we do not push/bite/kick etc' When he kicked the little girl in the head I took him home and told him why we were going home.

We started a new group on Friday (as he'd grown out of his old one) and all was going fine until he decided to pull on a little boys hair and drag him to the ground Again I said 'No, we DO NOT pull hair, say sorry to the little boy'
I witnessed him grab hold of a little boys arm twice and squeeze his hand hard. Again he was told 'no!' and to apologise..I said to him that if he carries on hitting/pushing etc we will be going home. So he was fine until song time (near the end of the session) and he was singing along until he see's this little boy going to stand and Oliver grabbing his hair and pulled him down That was the final straw and I took him home (again explaining why we were going home)
We were there 1.5hrs and he 'attacked' other LO's 4 times!!

Like I say, it started when he turned 2 - Its started with old friends and I thought he was just testing his boundries with them, but now he's doing it with new people and I have noticed he seems to do it more with the younger ones as he has some older friends (nearer 3yrs) and he's fine with them

I don't know what to do - I don't want to stop going to these groups as I know he loves them (and I do too) but if this behaviour continues it seems pointless going - if i'm going to be leaving after 15mins

This phase is awful isn't it...

Andrew and Sophie get naughty spotted when out and about too. At home we have a specific naughty spot and i just make a suitable one when out and about. They are then made to apologise and told that it is naughty etc. If they are in a very naughty mood though i take them home too. The good thing with Andrew and Sophie is that they understand me when i tell them if they carry on we will go home, that tends to get them to behave.

Could Oliver be tired? A & S are better behaved if they have had a decent nap in the morning or if it is a morning group?

I personally wouldnt stop going to the groups, I know it is difficult and stressful going and this happening but he does need to learn in the long run that this behaviour isnt acceptable and he wont learn if you just dont take him to the groups.

Thanks Wrigs - I actually remember your paranoia when we met that time cos Andrew was going through that phase .
I agree, I think he needs to go to groups etc as he needs to learn whats acceptable in social situations etc. It seems to be the morning groups that he behaves badly. He naps usually on an afternoon, but on Wednesdays we go to an afternoon group and he behaves really good there - never had any trouble at that group

I know its just a phase I suppose, he's a very spirited child - he's really not a shy kid at all and he's just letting his presence be known I just hope he starts to get the message soon.

I can whisper threats thru my teeth with a big smile on my face! Saying..if you don't smarten up..just wait till we get home!!!

ken&shayna wrote:

I can whisper threats thru my teeth with a big smile on my face! Saying..if you don't smarten up..just wait till we get home!!!

Tehe - My mum and dad used to do that with us Oliver would probably just laugh at me or look really confused

I use a naughty corner, and make her stand in it and face the wall for two minutes, but I only use it if she's really naughty, like hurting someone else etc so she knows now when she goes in the corner that she's in big trouble. Hopefully it's just a face, Chloe seems to have turned into the queen of tantrums since she turned two, favouring the laying on the floor kicking and screaming approach

I do the same as I do at home pretty much, pick her up and move away from the thing she is being naughty with and explain what she was doing wrong.

The only person she hurts is herself though, she has taken to rolling on the floor and banging her head on the floor...then gets upset cos that hurt, starts rubbing it saying 'hair'

Snap! i did a similar post, hope we both find the answer soon!!

Sorry Leanne, I have only just seen your post.

Well he's been invited to his friends birthday party this weekend and i've had to cancel after the behaviour yesterday We had his friends round to ours and they were all playing, but Oliver was just being a terror, one girl had only just come through the door and he pushed her over We went all went with the kiddies to make pancakes and I must have burnt the majority of them cos I just couldn't take my eyes off him. He was placed in his room for time out 3+ times and removed from the group/toy etc - geez i've actually lost count.

I'm at my wits end and just want to cry

Leanne, I was reading up on the web too (re; your other post) and was extremly anoyed when I found a statement for a so call 'professor' that stated that LO's will copy behaviour from family and close friends, well he's friends don't hit, slap, push and me and OH certainly don't so was very upset at that comment.

We have just been to a play group today, and I had to be like a hawk all the time, he was still pushing/pulling etc and i'm trying the softly softly approch - for example if he hits some one I take his hand gently and say "we don't hit, we be gentle, nicely nicely!" whilst strking his hand on the person he hit (or was abouts to hit)
This worked when he was 16/18mth when he was going through the hitting/biting me and OH phase.

I just get so upset by it all He's got a group on friday and i'm dreading it but I know it needs to be done for him to get through this phase. It jst hard cos when he's at home with us and family he's an angel put him in a room full of toddlers and he turns into >>

it sounds like your doing all you can and its just a phase you will have to wait out tbh, he will get there in the end hun, hopefully its just a short phase
iv noticed oliver has started trying to push past people(inpatient) so i just move him back and say 'no we have to take in turns' but i dont think he is old enough yet to understand tbh, but i will keep doing it till he does
like izzy, oliver has started hurting himself(banging his head on the floor or screaming(really angry scream )
i think they will all go through some phase at some time, its just about re-enforcing that its not nice,time out and just wating the phase out...at least your not like some who do nothing about it xx

I feel your pain, i actually dread going playgroups with him now. I think all we can do is carry on being consistent with the discipline we are already doing and hopefully they will get the message soon.

We took him to look at a couple of kindergartens today for when he is 3 years and he kicked a girl and pinched another in the 15 mins we were there!!