| | Being a mum now v's 50 years ago | |
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mandy
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-18 Location : Surrey Posts : 2710
About Me! My Name: Mandy Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Being a mum now v's 50 years ago Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:49 pm | |
| I was reading this article on Bounty earlier about how being a mum has changed over the last 50 years
Really interesting, so how do you think parenting has or hasn't changed and would you say it's better now then it used to be?
The link isn't working so have copied the info here
Being pregnant
Expecting a baby has never had so much going for it and is now almost a lifestyle choice rather than a life stage. Now you can find out if you’re pregnant with an off-the-shelf pregnancy test, show off your bump in trendy maternity wear from the likes of Top Shop and Blooming Marvellous, have a relaxing pregnancy massage and go online to get the answer to any question you might have about your pregnancy. In 1959, your GP told you if you were expecting, and your choice of outfit was a frilly smock top or voluminous tent dress that made you look even frumpier than you felt. To relax, you lit a ciggy, and instead of being able to ask Bounty, all you knew about birth and babies came courtesy of your nearest female relative or next door neighbour. One mum, Bozena Brophy, who had her first baby in 1965, didn’t realise she was pregnant: ‘I felt like I had the flu for ages, and I was telling a friend who’d already had a baby how ill I’d been feeling and she was the one who told me that I was pregnant!’ Giving birth
It may be hard to believe if you’ve had a difficult birth or a caesarean, but having a baby is less of a medical procedure than it was 50 years ago, when soap and water enemas were par for the course. ‘The biggest difference in having a baby now compared to the 1960s is that we work with women rather than do things to them,’ says senior lecturer in midwifery, Yvonne Sweetland, 63. ‘We didn’t think about feelings back then.’ And you’re not likely to be alone as you labour – your partner, mum or a friend or birth partner are welcome. In the 1960s, the dad-to-be was expected to pace up and down outside and only the medics and midwives were there to see the baby’s head emerge. Baby names
Today, Holly and Jack top the polls of most popular names for babies, with Ruby and Oliver in second place. In 1959, mums’ favourites were Mary and Michael, closely followed by Susan and David. The bottom line
We get through eight million of them a day in the UK alone, but the all-in-one disposable nappy didn’t exist in the 1960s – we had to wrap our babies’ bottoms in terry towelling and wait another 20 years. That’s why so many 40-somethings were potty trained early – there was only so much soaking-in-a-bucket and boil washing a mum could stand. How many children
In 1961 we waved goodbye to big families and said hello to the pill. Unsurprisingly, we’ve had fewer children ever since – in 1964, the average was 2.95 kids; now it’s 1.77. And we’re having them later – in 1971, the average age a woman became a mum for the first time was 23; now it’s nearer 30. And if you couldn’t have children, there was no IVF around to help give you a chance – you’d have had to wait until the late 1970s. The first ‘test tube’ baby, Louise Brown, was born in 1978. Bringing up children
Even though we have dozens of magazines, books, TV shows and websites telling us how to bring up our kids, it’s never been more confusing. The 1960s may have been swinging, but old-fashioned values were still part of most mums’ lives – you simply did what your mum had done before you and were loving but strict, firm but fair. Smacking aside, some parenting experts believe that there’s a lot to be said for this style of child rearing. Family life
What was guaranteed to set tongues wagging in the 1960s is now quite unremarkable: more of us are having kids without getting married. In 2004, 42% of children were born to women who hadn’t gone down the aisle first; in 1980 it was just 12%. And the traditional family is an endangered species – a quarter of families are now headed up by one parent, and one in 10 are stepfamilies. Out to work
By the time our babies are a year old, half of us have gone back to work. In the 1980s, only one in five mums worked outside the home after they’d had a baby. We take paid maternity leave for granted now, but statutory maternity pay wasn’t coughed up until 1987. Back in the 1960s, you could still quite legally lose your job if you got pregnant, ‘I loved my first job as a secretary in west London in 1964, but as soon as my boss found out I was going to have a baby, I got the sack,’ recalls Bozena Brophy, 62. Round the house
White goods have made housework a whole lot easier – automatic washing machines for one, were still a luxury in the 1960s. But some things never change… we’re still doing the lion’s share around the house – in 1960 we racked up nearly two hours a day cooking, cleaning, washing and childcare. Nearly 50 years and many advances in labour-saving appliances later, we manage to cram in 90 minutes of chores a day, and go out to work on top of that. ‘There’s no way in the world I’d be without my washing machine,’ says TV’s How Clean Is Your House star, and mum of two, Aggie Mackenzie, ‘but even with all these electrical goods that my mother’s generation didn’t have, I think women do far too much.’ Shopping
Few things have changed for mums as much as how we do our weekly shop, from how we pay for it to how we get it home. In the 1960s we walked or caught the bus to the local shops – there were 150,000 grocery stores around the country in 1961, and only three out of 10 households had a car. But within 20 years, two-thirds of these local shops had closed down to make way for supermarkets, many of them a car ride away. By 1998, seven out of 10 households had at least one car. And online shopping is fast becoming our favourite way to buy everything from nappies to nursery furniture. Transport
From Bugaboos to car seats, slings to three-in-one travel systems, there are now dozens of options for getting baby from A to B. In the 1960s, cars were commonplace, but car seats would be the stuff of science fiction for another 10 years. The revolutionary, umbrella-fold Maclaren buggy was invented in 1965, but it wouldn’t be till the early 1980s that it overtook big and bulky prams as our ideal choice of baby transport. Help!
We rely on help with childcare at least some of the time, whether it’s from childminders, nurseries, friends or relatives. In the 1960s, most mums stayed at home to look after their children, and were expected to care for them full time, all of the time, perhaps with help from sisters, aunts or their own mum if they were nearby. ‘Mums in those days were 24/7,’says Sylvia Thomas, 73, ‘husbands didn’t participate in child rearing, especially with babies. The mother was the main carer – there was no slowing down, no lie-ins, even at the weekends, because we didn’t work [outside the home]. If they were sick or teething, we were the ones who had to be up in the night, every night, however many nights in a row.’ Who does most of the child rearing in your home – you, your partner or you both play an equal role?
Last edited by mandy on Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:11 pm; edited 1 time in total |
| | | LisaAdmin
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-15 Location : Shropshire Posts : 8964
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Being a mum now v's 50 years ago Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:10 am | |
| I think it would have been really hard...but cos thats all they knew they probably never thought much about it. Like we just accept how we live and cope now..but in another 50 years they might have pushchairs that steer and are motorised, or fly lol and mums then will look back and think wow they actually had to PUSH the pram! Or in 50 years they find a camera that sees through your tummy and you can see the actually baby just like a video! So yeh I think knowing what I do now, and living now I would find it hard, if not unbearable to go through pregnancy and childbirth with out modern day stuff |
| | | GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Being a mum now v's 50 years ago Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:52 am | |
| I am very grateful that I live now and not 50 years ago I would go insane as a sahm. |
| | | mandy
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-18 Location : Surrey Posts : 2710
About Me! My Name: Mandy Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Being a mum now v's 50 years ago Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:10 pm | |
| I agree Gill, I don't think I could be a SAHM now, when I first went back to work I was devestated to be leaving her, but now, I think it makes me a better mum, I'm far more patient with her for having that break and a few hours a day to be me the person, rather than just me the mum. I do think that in some ways we have it harder now, because in most households, as well as working, women are still doing the lions share of the housework and childcare when they are at home. There are a lot more things to juggle now |
| | | GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Being a mum now v's 50 years ago Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:42 pm | |
| Mmmm it'd be nice to have a choice as to wether we stay at home or go to work! These days mums usually have to work. I was born in 1967, my parents had a nice home and my dad always had a brand new car, we went on holiday every year and I never wanted for anything whilst growing up, plus we always had our mum at home. I had a pretty charmed up bringing. My mum went back yo work when we left school and had a pretty good career which she enjoyed. We also have a very nice lifestyle but I have to work and I've always had to juggle my holidays around childcare and I know my kids would like it if I was home. My 13 year old loves it on my days off as I'm here when he gets home (ok it's just so can feed him). My mum is contuously on my back to pack up work as she really has no understanding that I have to work. Also as well as working I have to fit in all tbe housework and shitloads of washing and also gp, dentist appointments etc. So I think it's all swings and roundabouts! (I secretly do love going to work though) |
| | | LisaGandAmelia
Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Cheshire Posts : 3186
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Being a mum now v's 50 years ago Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:08 pm | |
| Wow that was an interesting read thanks Mandy! I too am glad I didn't have a child 50 years ago. Imagine not having the pill and having no control over your own fertility. And no hpt's! Eeekkk you could be 6 months and no know!!! |
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