Since we are all mature adults and seem to be debating this on the wrong thread I am starting a separate one.

I get nothing except CB which I will lose when the rules change so I can be neutral on this.

I have no issue with people getting benefits when they are going through a hard time and genuinely cannot work particularly if they have paid in for years before hand. I do have an issue with people who have never done a day's work in their life and think the Government should pay for them.

My friend's sister, aged about 25, has 3 kids by different fathers and is expecting her 4th by another father and has never worked in her life. She has everything paid for. I have no idea whether she gets maintenance or not but she does have an expensive phone and seems to go out an awful lot for someone with 4 kids and only benefits.

On the other hand I know a lovely lady (you may know her too) who has been forced to go on benefits to support her children because she has been left in a horrible position by a man who deserves all the evil the world can bestow on him. I suspect she is uncomfortable and unhappy being on benefits but has no choice because she cannot work and support her children. She has paid in for years and I am sure as soon as she is in a position to work she will because she has too much pride to be in this position for any longer than necessary.

Discuss?

I feel pretty much the same, we get ctc and cb but never claimed benefits before, now im facing redundancy if I can't find a job i may have to look at what benefits we can get in the short term .

The thing is no-one is well off on benefits apart from the scammers so I don't know why anyone would chose it.

I have no problem with people on benefits either, apart from people like 2 of my friends who work the maximum 16hours to claim all they can and then work on the side too.

we spent 6 months in 2009 on increased CTC and adam on JSA it wasnt pleasant but we have both worked and paid far more into the tax system than the £64.30 per week, and the £7 a week concil tax rebate we were getting.

so for abusers of the system, i send this

and for people who cant work for one reason or another, fair play to you you cant live on fresh air (and its not much more than that)

hmmmmmm i think everyone is different really - i currently live on benefits technically - on ctc and cb (supplemented by my husbands bursary) - i can't afford to go back to work, because as my husband is a student we don't get any help with childcare, so my wage wouldn't be enough to live on after we payed for a childminder (mental eh?!). i also can't work part time as my husband is on placement for the majority of the year in different places working different shift patterns so it's impossible to maintain a contract.

i dont like being reliant on anything and have worked nonstop for the past 10 years so it's a blow to my self-esteem. i wouldn't choose it although i do feel privelaged to be able to stay at home with my baby - financially things are critical just now.

all of that aside i am about to start doing 2 hours every few days with my organisation, which will help a bit - but even then the majority of our money comes from the government for now.

i think if you looked at my situation from the outside without seeing the details you would think i was just being lazy and living on benefits (i probably would have thought so too if i hadnt spent so long trying to figure it out!), and it has certainly opened my eyes to a lot of people who are a bit stuck in similar situations.

of course as always you will get people who simply dont want to work (me included some days ) and i feel that's unfair, but at the same time im so grateful that the state is keeping us going just now, i dont know what we would do otherwise!

i think if a woman has paid into the system befor...or will be doing in the future then faair enough if they have a genuine reason, ie young chidren ect
i split with my ex after leo was 1 too and being a sahm i ended up having to claim income support, i chose to stay on income support till he was 2 then started job searching and started my current job, although i still do claim wtc and ctc
what does annoy me though is people with kids who have grown up there is no reason for them not to get a job(unless studying to go into work in the future)...or just pure dole dwellers...but then thats another debate cos has nothing to do with mum's lol

i believe i will pay back what i have 'borrowed' from the system eventually x

another thing, if someone ends up being a single mum(usually through no fault of their own) then should they not have the choice to be a SAHM as much as anyone else??(being that usually its not their fault theyre in that situation ) cos im sure most of them will pay it back eventually

what annoys me are benefit frauds who end up being loaded x

unfortunately the lazy biatches who have no intention of finding work and bleed the system for every penny, give the genuine mothers who are in dire straits or have no choice a bad name. Its unfair that there is one pigeon hole and yet the circumstances are completely different for every family. x

I hate the phrase "entitled to"

I hate people who continue to breed even though they aren't even paying for their first children


If you have a change of circumstances after you've had kids that's a different story. I am far too proud to let other people fund my lifestyle, if we can't afford to have anymore children then we won't. CTC and CB are a very welcome bonus to us but we don't rely on them to survive. If they were taken away tomorrow we'd be ok.
Maybe I'm bitter that I have to go back to work full time on Monday and be a weekend mummy when I'd love to be at home, at least most of the time, with her.

I was a single mom from conception with rich, I claimed benefits and it paid my way through university etc, now I working for the government I feel like I'm paying it back.

But I got a lot of abuse for being on benefits from extended family, but I was entitled to it anddid something about it, it did help me go to university,I wouldn't have afforded it otherwise.

But for those who cheat the system, it will catch up on them one day

As you can probably gather, i absolutely hate being on benefits. I have absolutely no help regarding childcare from anywhere so going to work is just not an option at the moment.
Getting childcare funded isnt even an option for Sam as when its the school holidays i have the other 3 to consider and with 4 kids there always someone ill so would probably get sacked for having so much time off!

This is the first time i have been on benefits and i have to say i do feel very uncomfortable. The prejudiced people on benefits face is terrible. People just presume you are lazy and dont want a job. For me it is definitely not a lifestyle, choice or the easy option!

I have paid into they system since i was 16 so i suppose i am not taking anything out i haven't paid in, but i still feel the shame, especially when those that are currently working think they are paying for me to stay at home.

All 4 of my children were born at a time when myself and my husbands were working (i worked throughout my 4 pregnancies and afterwards) and i would never have dreamed i would be a single mum of 4 living on benefits.

Of course there are those who willingly live on benefits with no intention of ever finding a job, taking whatever is handed to them, having child after child to get more money and this i dont agree with! Its completely wrong.

mara wrote:

As you can probably gather, i absolutely hate being on benefits.!

This is the first time i have been on benefits and i have to say i do feel very uncomfortable. The prejudiced people on benefits face is terrible. People just presume you are lazy and dont want a job. For me it is definitely not a lifestyle, choice or the easy option!

I have paid into they system since i was 16 so i suppose i am not taking anything out i haven't paid in, but i still feel the shame, especially when those that are currently working think they are paying for me to stay at home.

Mara you have nothing to feel ashamed about - in your own words fluff what they think...
http://www.babiesandall.com/t768p165-how-is-it-possible

page 12/13 of that thread I was expressing the same feelings and you gave me the advice you need to give yourself now!

Bless you, i had forgotten about that xxxxxxx

Mara, you are what the benefits are there for. You've no need to feel uncomfortable about it

I have to say that before I had Tyler and started using the baby forums I had absolutely no idea how hard it was for people in england with regards to benefits.

I didn't realise how expensive child care was and that for most people there isn't any benefit to going back to work ebcause you won't make any more money than if you were at home!

I think the system is shocking for people that actually want to go back to work.

I agree with Debs though there are people that need the help and there are people who seem to have kids just to get more money from the system and it should be quite clear to the government who those people are - their benefits should be cut.

In Cyprus, if you are unemployed for over 6 months they arrange intervies and jobs for you. IF for some reason those jobs aren't suitable or you aren't suitable for the job they will find you a government job. Ok it might not be a gerat job (I see lots of people cleaning up the motorway and road sides etc) but at least they try and get people earning their benefits.

I'm a single mum i get £50 a week child tax credits and £80 a month child benefit.. i live with my dad.

Claire wrote:

I'm a single mum i get £50 a week child tax credits and £80 a month child benefit.. i live with my dad.

Claire you do realise you could prob get £60 a week IS aswell. Im not encouraging you to get all you can, I just mean £10 a day isnt much to feed/clothe/nappy you and a toddler. Dont make yourself stuck xxx

Yep I think Claire needs more than £10 a day to nappy herself

PMSL!

Well tena lady is expensive... so I hear

Haha

I am not single but due to the anxiety i am on benefits its Employment and Support allowance which is different to Job Seekers and also diffent from Income Support. I have always worked but have had to claim for the last 2 years on and off.

They expect us to live on marcs wages which is roughly £1500 a a month and my huge payout of £260 a month when all the bills excluding petrol as thats classed as a luxery comes to £1800, i havnt been able to work due to the anxiety BUT and this is a big but, over the last month i have done reallhy well at trying to get myself out and have been out nearly everyday so i am now applying for jobs and even have an interview this week.

The thing that does get me is when people say well i get more on benefits so no point in getting a job, or if i get a job i will loss this benefit.erm what about the example your setting your children.

I agree about setting you kids examples, but at the same time would you really make yourself and your children worse off if in that situation?
I'm not saying I would or wouldn't as I have no idea myself unless I was in that situation, it's just a question.

I believe most mums would be on income support with young children, I think but don't quote me, that you can work upto 16 hours without your benefit being effected? Is that ok? Again just a question
That way they are showing responsibility but also providing for children and being a hands on parent, but at the expense of the tax payer, although they would be paying into the system if working.

What about student mums? I was on IS when started my course, that was free because of it, is it ok to claim benefits to educate yourself at the expense of the tax payer? I say yes because I have and will again contribute but I'm not sure how happy I'd be to fund a project for someone that's just gonna sit at home.

I think circumstances need to be accounted for as I'm sure every woman on benefits has a story behind it, wether it's breakdown of relationship, redundancy, mental health issues, or pure laziness.

Suzi well done on the job interview! If things carry on chances are this change will increase your confidence more and more! Good luck xx

thanks kell hun

i can answer your questions as i had a job begining of last year and it paid less than my benifits i took the job as A) I hated being on them, B) I felt getting out and having adult company a godsend and finally C) It was the right thig to do we were worse of financially taking into account wages and extra petrol but i felt happier in myself. It also made me think i was showing gracie no matter what the wage you are better off working than sitting at home painting, I was lucky i worked 10 - 1 3 days a week so didnt really miss out on my Gracie time

the 16 hour thing is not quite right its kinda false advertising as long as you work less than 16 hours and earn less than your benefit they will make it up to the benefit amout

eg i was on 220 a month Job seekers - work paid me £200 a month so i was entitled to claim £20 but i still had to go and sign on to get it. I didnt bother and let them keep the £20.

This is just how i felt about it and judge not one person for being on benefits xx