[quote="BabyMilly"]

mara wrote:

I've no intention of starting a post on mothers on benefits!

Too late I did it

Debs, yes £30 is about right, at my sons school they each have an account with is authorised via the childs fingerprint. I pay by cheque so I know it's not going on sweets etc. They can use their account for pizza etc at break so it's not all dinners.

Rugby, footy, pocket money,dinner money are just the icing on the cake, my oh doesn't contribute in any other way. So what I mean is it doesn't go towards household bills, clothes, uniforms, shoes, sports wear, school trips etc.

£30 are you serious what do they drink liquid gold?? wow, leo's school is only £8.50 a week(soon to be 10, thanx gov ) they get fruit and milk!

is it secondry school im taking it??

Yes it's secondary school, you can set limits as to what they spend and they buy. Drinks are fruitshoots etc and they're a pound a go, he has 3 of them per day. I did try packing some from home in his bag but he was embarrassed.

Tom and chels high school was £1.70 for a dinner and pudding per day. extra if you wanted snacks at break times.

Oh dear I knew this was a bit of a touchy subject judging by the responses on netmums but I didnt intend anyone to get upset/offended.

To take some responsibility I did ask in original thread if people thought that money should be deducted from benefits so perhaps that got the idea in people's heads. Im sure babymilly didnt mean to upset you mara! Im on benefits too and am not offended by it. Its not like either of us decided thats what we wanted to do with our lives, its what has to happen to put food on the table at the moment. You've paid your tax previously, and iv paid tax for 8 years through PT & FT work and hope to again.

As iv said before i dont have that strong an opinion either way. My dad didnt pay a penny for me for 14 years, my life would have been alot nicer if her did. We didnt have a car until I was 14, lived with my grandparents til I was 10, had one childhood holiday... I wasnt poor but maintenance would have made life alot easier on my mum.

A balance of lifestyles needs to be addressed. Its not fair if in some cases 1st borns get a lot of money at the expense of children in new relationships.

Can I just say that I can see how maintenance could/should be used to contribute to rent & bills in some cases. If you have 2 children you are obviously going to have to rent at least a 2 bed house as opposed to a 1 bed. You will have to heat the extra bedroom (& possibly keep the house warmer than you would if you were on your own), use more water in baths, more washing/drying... I can see how having a child pushes bills up and its not just clothes/food/spends.

Ooopss we've changed the subject... lol!

My dinners 10 years ago were about £2.20 a day for either a sandwhich and a bun or a hot meal & pud. Drinks were extra from machines (though was normal to bring own and no one laughed). I would say mum gave me £15 a week for dinners but generally I sold them at a discount rate (we had money loaded on plastic swipe card each month) and spent the money on cigs and a bar of chocolate I was the skinniest in my life in 4/5th year due to this diet!

yeah i agree, keeping a child warm and comfortable does put your bills up quite a bit...maybe if a mother didnt have children she would live in a smaller flat...or be able to work long hours and not worry about childcare so would be able to earn more x

pmsl snoopy, yeah we used to buy dinner tickets at the begginig of the week for hot meals, ot sandwiches and cookie for £2...but i just used to buy a can of coke and bar of choccy!! oh the skinny size 6 days xx

I think my point on whether maintenance should used for rent is more to do with the fact that the non resident parent has to provide a roof for when they have the children over - be it one night a week or 3-4, so I don't believe that they should have to contribute towards the roof that the resident parent has - i.e. - they both have to provide a roof over the kids head (maybe different in cases where ther is no access to the child).

I did include bills such as utilities in it because yes they are increased when you have children - I would neve have my heating on if I didn't have the kids - I'm so tight I would just wear extra clothes

xx

lmao debs me too...infact if i didnt have kids id never be in the house to use the heating cos id be in the pub all day x

gemzandboys wrote:

oh the skinny size 6 days xx

*whispers* or the skinny days when a 12 was a tad loose

snoopy21 wrote:

gemzandboys wrote:

oh the skinny size 6 days xx

*whispers* or the skinny days when a 12 was a tad loose

HMPH IM EVEN JEALOUS OF THAT

in an ideal situation each parent would earn similar amounts, take the child/ren equal amount of days and both provide clothes, food, pocket money and the man wouldnt have to pay any maintenance. but its highly unlikely.

I know if me and oh split we would have to come to some agreement as he earns way more than me. but I would like to think we would work it all out.