I saw an advertisement in the local Metro from a couple asking for someone to donate their eggs and help them have a baby.

This got me thinking...could I do it??

I have come to the conclusion that I couldn't. Not to mention the evasive procedure, I couldn't bear the thought that my flesh and blood was out there somewhere and I had no part in their upbringing, even though I wouldn't have given birth to them. My girls are soo alike, in and have their unique personalities and I would constantly be thinking about this other person.

My Oh and I are both very fertile, and are lucky to have 2 fantastic girls. I never even had a period after deciding that try for baby no 2, so I have hundreds if not more eggs that could help someone else have the miracle of a baby that I'm never going to use....but at the same time I can't share them.

At the opposite end of the spectrum....if I needed an egg donor to have kids of my own, would I use them?? Yes of course I would. And I would see the child as mine and not some other womans.

What are your thoughts on this??
xx

When I have finished having my children, then yes, I would consider it.

But, my eggs will prob be frazzled by then x

Yeh I'd do it, and Id be a surrogate too

I cant imagine the pain of not being able to have a baby - but being able to give that gift to someone would be worth it,

I could possibly consider - maybe lol, donating eggs.... but I do think it would creep into my head every so often 'I wonder how the baby is?' I dont think I could ever detach myself and would wonder how many eggs were used, whether the baby looked like me etc.... I think id need to know too much info and would do the couples head in if I met them. If it was anonymous id go insane too! But maybe that would help with the detachment.

Lisa could you really be a surrogate?! I quite admire that as I know it would be an amazing gift... I just dont think I could tell myself it wasnt really my baby. I think id bond with it and after labour/hormones flying Id be a mess handing it over. Unless it was for a family member and id see the child daily I could NEVER consider it. Even for a family member I could see me interfering to much/taking offence at its upbringing etc

Yes I'd do it BUT they will only consider people who have completed their family and are under 35 ... well Im 31 now, so unless we have a second soon then I can see me running out of time ... but they wouldn't let me do it as Ive not completed my family yet!

Is that rule suppose to make it easier for you to hand the baby over?!

I can understand the under 35 thing for health reasons, but completing your family I wouldnt have thought about. Could people not lie? (Hypocrites ) Eg say they only wanted 1 child, be a surrogate and then go on and have a 2nd of their own? I suppose though there may be the risk of needing a hysterectomy after a c-sec or something and they want to be sure you dont change your mind & keep the baby on that factor. Sorry kinda talking to myself!

Yeh its cos they say there is a risk of any pregnancy causing infertility , so wont take a woman who intends having more of her own children, which is fair enough really.

I would do this..but only for those in the market for a sassy midget! Would be much more easier to do that surrogacy. To carry the baby regardless of the dna would be very hard for me. The way I look at it, it's no different than donating a kidney or a portion of your liver for someone. Donation only..would never do it for profit. xxx

i have had this conversation with sam and i really don't think i could do it...whether it's carried by another lady or not, it is a part of me...could i spend my life without my beautiful babies?? nope....so it wouldn't be any different giving up my eggs, it'd still be as much a part of me as lily-ann and lewis.

on the other hand though...if someone close to me, say my sister/sis-in-law, desperately needed it...i think i'd be more likely to agree as i know i'd have some kind of access and say in it's life.

I'm in two minds.
On the one hand I'd love to have a baby for a couple as I've seen for myself how much joy they bring BUT it'd have to be HER egg and her husbands sperm so the baby would not be mine at all I'd simply be it's little oven for 9 months.

On the other hand I'd be a bit suss about egg donation what if my son or daughter met someone in the future and fell in love etc and it turned out they were kinda related cuz they come from the same mum!!??!!

I wouldn't be allowed to be a surrogate as my body hates being pregnant and it's dangerous for me and the baby and I've been advised it'd be best if we made this the last one, which is fine for us. We only wanted to be a family of 5 at most.
If medically things were ok i'd consider surrogacy but not egg donation xx

I don't think I could donate an egg because it's like giving a little piece of me away although might be able to if it was to someone really close to me.

I could probably be a surrogate... I say probably because the idea of it is great and I'd love to be able to give someone something so precious but in reality I know I would find it so hard to not get attached to the baby growing inside of me.

I feel a bit selfish for saying this but I couldn't give away my eggs and neither could I be a surrogate.

xx

I think if im lucky enough to become pregnant and have the family that i want that i think i could do it....if i never have children i dont think i could!!

I just couldn't do it

well i'm too old now, but i dont think i could have done it anyway, the thought that there is a child out there that could be mine, would drive me nuts and plus doing the job i do, i see the horrors kids go through, with people that look like good parents to the outside world, i just couldnt put a child through that.

my sil suggested that if we were told that we couldnt get pg then she would do it for us, but i said no to that too, as at the end of the day the child would be hers, althoguh we did look into adoption, but we wouldnt see the parents regualry so that would be different to me

i would like to think i could do it, but i know deep down i couldnt, i would always want to be apart of my own flesh and blood x

I couldnt do it either, although doing ivf with egg share would make it afforadable for us (you get the ivf free and only pay for drugs - around £500) I just couldnt get my head around the fact that there would be someone out there that is a part of me. Another thing that I couldnt cope with is that when the child reaches 18 they can request information about you should they so wish so they could find you.

Nutty1 wrote:

Another thing that I couldnt cope with is that when the child reaches 18 they can request information about you should they so wish so they could find you.

That is the only reason I wouldn't do it, if it was completely annoymous I would, obviously I understand them needing medical history, but if I donated my eggs I'd want to forget I ever did it, same as giving blood I guess. I think since they changed that rule there is a severe lack of sperm and egg doners, they need to re-evalute the system again imo.

I would once I have had my last baby! 2 lady's I know are trying to hard to have a baby and I always think I would love to help someone out by giving them a few eggys

I would definitely do it for a friend but probably not for a stranger which sounds a bit mean xx

It think those that are surrogates are very brave and selfless people. I just dont think I could do it personally because I just couldnt hand over that child for someone else after carrying and growing it for nine months. I think mentally i just would not cope. But also quite a hard one because it depends on why the person agrees to be a surrogate in the first place.

For egg donation, I think it is great for people who are wanting children however, I kind of think it is selfless AND selfish. Mainly because the child is gonna grow up and have questions and want to know why that person did not grow and bring up them themselves, particularly if the donated to family goes less than well lets say.

Not sure articulated that very well, and hope not offended anyone as none was meant.

In answer though, I really do not think I could do either although I think I would like to be able to help someone like that, I just know i couldnt.

Hmmm, a good debate, which i am still thinking through my true and full answer to.

MAndy xx