Dexter is a nightmare for his sleeping, and it seems to be getting worse



The main problem I think is as soon as he start stirring and makes a noise I go to him and either feed him or cuddle him back to sleep, I do this as I dont want him to wake Libby up (or Simon if its the middle of the night as he has to work).



But its getting ridiculous, it can take him a good hour in the evenings to settle then he'll be up at least 3 times in the night, sometimes it can take me an hour or more to get him back off to sleep.



I did controlled crying with Libby, she took to it really well as would cry herself to sleep fairly quickly and after just a few days was absolutely fine and going off to sleep on her own within minutes. I've thought about doing CC with Dexter but he just doesnt cry himself to sleep - he gets absolutely hysterical, last night he woke up at 1230 literally wide awake and chatting in his cot, so I thought I'd leave him to it, he started crying and even with me going in shushing him etc it took 2 and a half hours for him to finally drop off again. I asked Libby this morning if she heard Dexter last night, she said she did but when I asked what he was doing she didnt answer so I'm not sure she did hear him iykwim.



What would you do, would you try CC for a few nights even though it may disturb Libby? Or would you carry on nursing or cuddling him to sleep to save the lack of sleep for Libby?

I think you need to find a night where Simon isn't at work the next day and maybe even get a family member to have Libby for the night or two and just do CC. When we first did CC Imogen would get hysterical and it was really hard as first night or two it took over an hour but it only took a few days and she started getting herself to sleep fine. I think if you're not worrying about Simon and Libby you'll find it a lot easier to get him into that routine. I think you're going to exhaust yourself if you carry on nursing and cuddling him at all hours.
Good luck x

I personally wouldn't but then I don't agree with controlled crying. If it just makes him hysterical it may well just make him worse anyway but only you can decide that.

You know what you need to do chick and no matter what you do it will be the right thing. Long term is it better that libs might have 1 week of disturbed sleep while you sort it or potentially months? Think about everyone in the equation and that includes the person you think of the least-thats YOU by the way woman (!) and find the solution thats gonna benefit you all long term. You will do right xxx

Thanks Shell, yeah I know it needs to be done, I think tomorrow night is the night to start as Simon's not working sunday. Hopefully it wonnt take long to sort.



Liberty, I understand you dont agree with CC, thats fine but I really dont think I (or my back) can stand nursing/cuddling him back to sleep much longer.



Lise, loves ya xxxxxxxxx

hun i think you have to try something, you cant carry on with little sleep, it might disturb libby but if thats what you need to do then do it,

we let lucas cry it out last night, as he was clean, fed and just being a grump, he was asleep in half an hour, but it does make you feel terrible.

hope you get him sorted soon x

I think it's worth a try hun, and ok it must disturb libby and OH but well libby can nap in the day if she's that tired and OH has to realise that its just a small sacrifice to make to hopefully have you feeling a bit more normal and getting some decent rest



It will be better for everyone in the long run *hugs*

Well I spoke to Simon when he got home and he just said 'what about Libby, its not fair on her' I told him something needs to be done as it's getting worse, so he reluctantly agreed.



So tonight I was ready for the battle, we put Libby to bed and I gave Dexter his last feed, he started screaming as soon as he finished (before I'd even gone into his room) so I thought 'oh great, this is going to be hard', went into his room, laid him in his cot and walked out. That was at 710 and I havent heard anything from him!! I'm not going to count my chickens just yet but I really hope thats him down for the night

Sounds promising, sometimes it's easier than you expect. Has he been up since? x

Glad its gone ok for you so far tonight. I've got no problem with other people doing cc in case you think I was trying to push my views on you. I can see why you want it sorted as well.

Crikey, that was a good start. Dare I ask how it went after that?

Imogen would always stir herself up into a frenzy if we left her to it as well. I just spoiled her rotten for far too long tbh and eventually she slept for longer and longer, but with a second one I wouldn't be able to do that because it wouldn't be fair on Imogen.

Fingers crossed for you xxx

Well I'm in shock this morning!! He woke up screaming at 9pm so I went in and shushed him and rubbed his tummy - he didnt stop so I walked out again, he carried on screaming for just 5 mins then went back to sleep



He slept until 645am!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought my boobs were going to explode though as he'd gone nearly 12 hours with no milk (I dont find expressing really eases it for me).



I'm really hoping it isnt a one off but even if it is, at least I've had a one good night xx

Susan that's brilliant. Keep at it Hun. As for Simon saying what about Libby I understand but what about you. Surely sorting dexters sleep makes a happy dexter and happy mummy which would make Libby happy too as she'll notice your happier.

Men don't get these things they see you looking after children even though your tired and presume nothing is wrong.

Sorry mini rant there.

But keep at it and remember to do exactly the same with his naps too as he'll learn during today to and should fingers crossed make for a straight forwRd night again.

Also how is dexter this morning? Does he seem happier?

i'm so pleased he slept for you, and really hope he continues for you, he just needs to get use to it.

glad you got some sleep though

Thanks ladies!!



Well tonight he's putting up a fight He was absolutely shattered and fell asleep while feeding at 650pm, I put him down as usual and he slept for half hour has screamed on and off since. I know the little bugger is really tired as he keeps yawning everytime I go in to him so why wont he just sleep!?!?!?



I'm being strong though and not picking him up, just rubbing his belly and shushing him, its gone quiet for now (been about 10 mins) so fingers crossed hes given up.



Hopefully, as Libby was also shattered, she is sleeping through it - shes so good that we never actually know if shes woken up bless her. xx

You're doing really well and although he woke up again 30mins later sounds like he's adjusting to the CC routine well.

Bless Libby, like someone else said it's better for her to have a couple of nights being disturbed than have an exhausted unhappy Mummy and possibility of being woken every night.

x

Thanks Shell xx



He did settle at the time I posted and slept until 430am, I wasnt sure what to do then as he'd gone 10 hours without anything so in the end I fed him. He fell asleep on the boob but woke up as I put him back in his cot and settled himself off to sleep, he then slept until 730am.



Si I am pleased so far as he seems to of learnt how to settle himself at last

Good for you chick. Sounds like hes doing great and its gotta be so much better for you to be getting a decent whack of sleep

Sooo Sunday night he went straight down at 7pm, I heard him stir a few times but he didnt wake or if he did he didnt cry, he woke up crying at 245am - I went in and shushed him, came back out, he carried on crying so after 5 mins went back in and shushed him, he fell asleep while I was doing it so I came back out and he started crying again ( ) - he didnt last the 5 mins before he fell asleep himself though and slept til 6am.



Monday night went virtually the same as sunday night so I *think* its worked



(cannot believe its only taken a couple of nighst to sort out, if I'd have known that I would of done it alot sooner )

Glad he seems to be better and hope it lasts