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Big Huggs chick. I know you have been struggling. Is she is a bed now? How long have you helped her go to sleep. Have you tried the usual things, music, light etc. We went through it with H and now L is being a bugger but last couple of nights he's been better. I know cc can take unto 2 weeks to work but you know your daughter best and not all sleep training suits all kids. I am not going to tell you to stick with it as only you can decide but I know how heart breaking it is. Maybe have a look T the no cry solution or gradual retreat, maybe give it a go x

Huge ! You are not a bad parent at all, quite the opposite, one that loves and cares about her daughter so much, you will do anything to help her sleep.

I have used cc and i have used gradual retreat. The gradual retreat I have used over and over to help Sophia after an illness to get back into routine and it really really works.

What I do is cuddle her for a few minutes, then let her know she is going into the cot (at the mo, she is self settling well and actually I ask her if she wants to get into bed and she says yes so i put her in and can leave the room)

When she is having a hard time settling and i need to use the method, once i have put her into the cot,(although sometimes, before being able to sit in the chair, I lie beside her with my hand through the bars and a hand on her chest so she knows i am there, just for the first ten mins or so) I then sit down in the chair next to her and I face the clock at the end of her cot, so not making eye contact. After an illness she really struggles with self settling because when she is ill, i cuddle her to sleep, whatever works at the time.So I do have to put her bcak down a few times. She often at this stage gets up, anything to get my attention, so when this happens, I put her back down, say goodnight sophia then sit down again, the next time, just goodnight, then all times after that just a kiss on the forehead and each time she is back lying down, I sit in the chair again in the same position.

I carry on like this, sometimes it takes a while for her to stay lying down, but she usually does after a while. Then I remain in the room until she is completely asleep, then i make my exit quietly.

After a few days of this then I stay in the room for just two or three times of her getting up then say goodnight, kiss her and leave the room but stay upstairs in our room and only go into her if she actually cries out but usually at this stage she does settle herself fairly quickly. Then after a few days of that, I do the same but leave the room the first time i put her down, then after a few days of that, the same but go downsatirs and she is then back t normal self settling.

However, when I first did it, it did take a lot longer and I did edge closer to the door before actually then moving on to waiting in next room, but her room is very small so hard ot do it in lots of stages within her room!

Not sure if that is helpful or just comfusing but hopefully might help.

You are a brill mum and she will get there, it just takes persistnece, consistency and lots of hard work (so not much then eh? LOL) but once they get it, it's great, and it is quite a lot nicer than cc (although i have used and found effective) because you can be there to support htem in the room, so help them to feel secure but in small steps.

Hope all gets better soon,

Mandy xx

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Oh dear, doesn't sound good

Is she capable of understanding ultimatums yet? As in if you do this then this happens?

Izzy was getting really bad for her day nap, really bad! So I decided to start taking something away if she kept getting out of bed. I picked her nunu cos no joke that kid would kill for nunu!

So I have been doing it a while and have only had to take it off her twice the first week and a couple of times since as she thought she could push me!

Now we change bum, I put the blind down, she picks the teddies she wants in bed and I say in you get then - while Im holding nunu, and she gets in and I say 'now you know how it works - you stay in bed and go to sleep or mummy will nunu away!'

And voila she stays in bed most of the time, I don't take him away straight away though, she gets 2 chances before that happens, then she moans about it and I say you can have him if you get back in bed...and she has never got out of bed after I took him!

aww hun, wish I had some useful advice for you, but haven't had the same problem, hope you manage to sort it out soon xx

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ah hun, i wish there was more advice i could give you, but we only did CC after having to sit with Alice for 2 hours everynight.

i should have brought you that book mari sent to me, i will did it out and get it into the post for you

i the meantime, hope Hannah's mouth is ok and just shout if you need anything xx

She will probs cry when you put her back down, just try to reassure her that you are there, and you could start with a hand on her tummy, then when she gets more drowsy, back off into the chair. It is trial and error though and does take a long time so be prepared. It took an hour or more for several nights to settle her in the early days of doing it. Just reassure her that you are there. She will soon get used to it and be comforted just by knowing that you are there.

I did find that Sophis did used to cry at first. So I would put her back down each time as described, but if she was becoming really distressed (by say the thrid time), i would pick her up, give her a quick hug until she calmed, then pput her back down. I tried not to pick her up immediately though because then this prevented her from self settling and she would end up asleep on me every night and if i picked her up immediately each time, this would make her even more grizzly each time i put her back down.

But then she used to cry to see if i would react or pick her up.. So i used to wait until she gave a real cry (iykwim) and then would put her down, because i also found that standing up in the cot could quickly become a fun game.

Who isit that has 'lumpy'? Coz i think she has done gradual retreat too so might be able to help too.

Sorry, hope that helps a bit, but not sure as tired and think may have come put as a bit of a jumble.


Mandy xx