Have been thinking about this a lot recently but Mara's post made me think to post here.

The last few days I have been so sick and tired & I keep saying to Stuart and a close friend that I am NEVER getting pg again. I am content with 2 children, I was an only child and have given Caitlin a sibbling so thats me done (fingers crossed this pg goes ok!). I dont care if its a girl or a boy - I have no strong 'need' to have a boy so the sex of this baby wont make a diff.

My friend is convinced i'l want to go again in 5-6 years time when im in my early 30's and these 2 are settled in school, particuarly if this one is another girl. Im not so sure. Iv also always wanted my family complete by the time im 30, I have nothing against older mothers, just for me personally I feel I want to get the dirty nappys, school runs etc over in one go and dont really fancy having a baby at 36 and having another 20 years ahead of me if that makes sense? My friend however thinks when im 50/60 id love having teenagers about the house and could end up lonely - im thinking grandkids will fill that gap!

Also financially im in a mess atm as havent started my career and cant imagine wanting to take a break from it again. Providing for 2 I think will be hard enought particularly when they are teenagers/have familys of their own in 20 years.

Obviously these are just my personal reasons. How did you know your family was complete or why have you decided you want the number of children you are planning?

This is something i've been thinking about too. Matt has always said we will just have 2babies and thats it so after this baby is born he doesn't want me even thinking about more. I understand where he's coming from. 2 is a nice number, we have a 3bed house so room each. We can afford two babies, probs no more and i think 2 is easy to control.. one on one rather than kids outnumbering us!

But i feel like I'm still so young, how can i say at 21 my family is complete?
I've talked about maybe when these two go to school maybe having one or two more then but Matt says no, and I wonder if once I get a bit more freedom, not having nappies, screaming toddlers to deal with I might not want to go back. But then I know when my friends and sister start having babies i'll want one. It's such a tough decision.

So atm I'm leaving it open, even though Matt says no I could persuade him I'm sure . I'll go on the pill after this one and leave it a few years then think about it all again. I'm glad I have that option and age isn't a major concern for me. It would be nice to get a career going and be more financially stable before we think about any more.

I have no idea, i don't want another until i'm around 29 ,10 year age gap but i want some of my own life first. Is that selfish

I honestly have no idea. I think finances will be the deciding factor with me, oh and age and actually finding someone to have more children with lol. I definitely would like another 1. I don't want Amelia to be an only child as I was. Once the 22 weeks of sickness were over I LOVED being pregnant, so much so that I actually think I could be a surrogate for a childless couple. I think I'd ideally like at least 2 more but I'm not sure that's realistic. I don't want to spread them out too much as I'd like to have a point where I know they'll be leaving home and moving on with their lives, having their own children whilst I'm still at an age to help them out. x

Personally for me i decided my family was complete after chel and tom, but then things changed and i got divorced and married again and had 2more!

Now i have come to a point where i have 4 kids, 2 almost grown up(well 12 and 14 just about) and 2 little ones and i just couldnt imagine doing it all again, plus the fact i am single and to have another baby i would have to meet fall in love and get pregnant which could take a long time and i am 33 now!!

So yes my family is definitely complete, and now only that 4 kids is more than enough for anyone!!!

Well 5 years ago I was adament I didnt want ANY children

Then when Libby came along I always said I only wanted one.............for about 9 months then I became rdiculously broody again and luckily when Libby was 19 months old I fell pregnant with Dexter. Now 2 feels right, and definately feels like our family is complete. In fact Simon is seriously thinking of having the snip and I do hope he does (he's scared of the op though ) because then the decision is definately made.

I think you just know when your family is complete xxx

Claire I dont think that sounds selfish at all hun.

Mara I think that too sometimes, and my friend hinted at it... what if me and stuart dont work out and I meet someone else in 5 years time and want to have a baby with them? I feel bad thinking like that though.

Iv said if its twins im 100% getting sterilised during the c-sec but my friend thinks thats ridiculous to get sterilised at 27 and really thinks id regret the option being taken away from me.

Atm im 95% certain that this is it! 2 in my mid twenties and its over with...... but then I suppose how does anyone know how they will feel in 5 years time? Surely people have to stop some time, even if they are broody, or else there would be a hell of a lot more people with 6+ kids!

Snoops I felt the same way as you and at the age of 30 my family was complete. I was done and happy with my lot. I wanted my life back! I also thought when my second was born when I was 29 that 29 was quite old.

But things change when you get older, you start to hear the ticking of the clock I became desperate for another. I've a lot of friends who feel the same and have done what I've done. Some of our friends think we're doolally (they maybe right) that we gave up our freedom for more nappies and an end to our social life (which was pretty good)..

The nhs offered to sterilize me during my section but I refused just incase I had the urge again. But I'm too old now anyway! So now I can finally say my family is complete.

Sorry Lisa I just reread your post - 22 weeks of sickness???!!!! And here's me hoping the next 3 weeks fly in so I start feeling human again. I cant take another 13 weeks of this!

I've wondered this. Originally I wanted 6 and then none. When I was pregnant with Jamie I swore I wouldn't do it again because I had such an awful pregnancy. Now I think i'd like one more. I think we'll stop then although I suppose if I have a nice pregnancy and a baby that sleeps and doesn't eat constantly I might change my mind. More than anything I don't think we can afford more than you. Like snoopy i'm not bothered if I have two of the same sex. There's also the fact i'm 29. We want some time with Jamie first and even if I get pregnant first time again which is unlikely that would probably make me at least 31 by the time I had a second

snoopy21 wrote:

Sorry Lisa I just reread your post - 22 weeks of sickness???!!!! And here's me hoping the next 3 weeks fly in so I start feeling human again. I cant take another 13 weeks of this!

Oh no hun I didn't want to scare you! I'm sure yours will go in 3 weeks!!!!!!!! xxx

I always said 2.. oR 3 so now Im pg with my 2nd and hoping all works ok... like snoopy when I was ill I said NO MORE (I even posted on here telling you all to remind of that) but now the sickness has gone i'm already saying ahh it's not too bad.

I would like a girl, but obviously not bothered either way however I think I would be more likely to want a 3rd if this baby is also a boy. I would wait until these 2 were in school though so another 4 years before having a 3rd (well... that's the theory)

Haha liberty I can remember being a teenager and joyfully saying I was going to have between 4-6 kids as I disliked being an only child and loved babies. Now iv had one and joined the real world I have realised that kids cost money and being pg is not a rosey happy time for me!

Lisa I bloody hope so or i'l blame you for jinxing me hehe! x

Donna - I met, fell in love with, moved in with and got pregnant to Paul within 6 months (only actually together 3) so you never know

I agree with everything Susan has said - you just know.

I was never sure I even wanted kids until I met Paul and it just felt right for some reason I always had it in my head that I would have 2 and that's it. I am extremely lucky to have got one of each but I know if I'd had two boys/girls I would've been just as happy. As soon as I brought Hannah home it felt right and complete and I knew from that second that I wouldn't have any more.

Paul had the snip last month but we have to wait until August for the all clear and I can't wait. This might sound selfish but I just couldn't imagine another baby fitting into our life the way it is now. In fact I had a pg scare just before the snip and I was devestated and can't honestly say that I would have continued the pg if it had been bfp . I feel awful admitting that but I love my family the way it is and want to look to the future, makes plans and enjoy watching my children learn and grow.

Pg doesn't suit me, I don't enjoy it and I really felt that Thomas missed out because of my awful hormones during and after pg. I'm just these last few months getting back to my normal self and can't imagine having to go through it all again.

xx

Ive always said id love 2 quite close then a 5yr gap then think about having another but im not so sure now x

i dont think i could get sterilized , i have my 3 but the thought of never being pregnant and having another childs terrifies me

i also thinkg what if ,, what if me and OH seperate and i meet someone else and decide we want our own ,,,im only 30 , maybe when i have another my family will feel complete maybe not but i will not be a 45 year old pregnant woman ( well thats my views now lol )
i have watched my friend go through a reversal , she had a daughter and 3 boys her daughter sadly died , cot death , she met a new partner decided they wanted a child together and they have struggled to get pregnant ( think they have given up now )
i gre up with 3 siblings , when i was 12 my 19 year old brother died and when i was 16 my 23 year old brother died so i think that is a massive influence on my decision to have a larger family
also i am so skeptical with sterlisation , when my mum was diagnosed with cancer 15 years after being sterilised her speacialist doctor sais so you have had 5 pregnancies , my mum corrected him saying she had only had 4 , turns out she wa spregnant when she was sterlised and they never told her , i know times have majorly changed since then

Just now i think the only thing that would stop me having any more children is when my children become parents ,i dont think i would like my children to be younger than my grandchildren x

went on a bit there , sorry lol !

See all my life I've always wanted to be a mum and have lots of babies and I still feel the same! My mum said she wasn't remotely surprised when I was pg again so soon after Stephen and she can see me announcing another one a few months after this one is born I want at least 4, I have no idea where we would fit them all or pay for everything but I just blindly seem to think it will all work out

I can't ever imagine getting to the point where I think yes my family is complete and I'm not going to make any more babies. I think hubby is a bit scared about how many we're going to end up with hehe!

Funnily enough, after Stephen's horrendous birth I told everyone for weeks there was no way I was doing it again and we even discussed adoption! Didn't last long though

this is something i've been thinking about for a while, when me and russ first got together we said we wanted another 2, but that was 5 yrs ago, its taken so long to get pg with bubs that now i'm wondering what to do.

but for us, we not going to use any contraception for the next year, age 36 is my end, this pg has been ok but i've been in so much pain lately i'm not sure.

so its a case of wait and see, but being a family of 4 sounds good and another will be a nice surprise.

When Jack was little and I was in my early 20's I was adamant that I would never have any more and didnt want any but then at 27 I met my o/h and everything changed. Within 3 months of being together I knew I wanted a baby with him. Now at 31 and almost 4 years since starting to try I feel like I have some how jinxed myself for saying what I did all those years ago. I hope and pray to god that I get to have another baby. Should that all go well and we are able to medically I definately want another 1 after that for sure, who knows even 2.

Im starting to think my friend is right and there is more of a chance of me changing my mind than I realise

I dont think I would get sterilised but I will be shocked if some of you are right and i do ttc in a few years.

I have to be honest - if Caitlin had been a boy, and this one is a boy, like Jade think id be more likely to go for a 3rd hoping for a girl. Before Caitlin though I didnt even realise I wanted a girl as such. Maybe Caitlin has swayed me though and if I had 2 boys id be saying I was happy but if Id had girls Id be tempted to try again for a boy. Haha did that even make sense??? lol.

well we have changed our mind a few times.. lol

before we had dita we were going to have 2 close together and one in 5 years ish when they are at school.

When dita arrived we decided we were content n didnt feel the need to have anymore.

now my friends are all having babies and i am mega broody, but we wont be acting on it cos we havent got the room or the money!

I think we will end up with sticking at 2, i think it will be nice to get our lives back and concentrate on paying debt/having a holiday/careers etc
x

Niccsy wrote:

well we have changed our mind a few times.. lol

before we had dita we were going to have 2 close together and one in 5 years ish when they are at school.

When dita arrived we decided we were content n didnt feel the need to have anymore.

now my friends are all having babies and i am mega broody, but we wont be acting on it cos we havent got the room or the money!

I think we will end up with sticking at 2, i think it will be nice to get our lives back and concentrate on paying debt/having a holiday/careers etc
x

tis a shame niccsy as you and your OH really do produce beautiful kiddies

( not saying noone else on this forum does by the way )

ohhhh you lot, is 30 really old???!! i didnt think so haha i think this is just the beginning of my babymaking not the end!!

i dont know how many children i want to have, but i dont feel that comfortable with the idea of something so final as sterilisation - its fairly easy most of the time not to accidently get pregnant and i kind of think if it happens even then it is probably just meant to be. that might change when im heading more towards 40 though...

Aww Mari i dont think 30 is really old lol. I just mean that as I got pg at 24 & I dont want the baby years spread out over 10-12 years in to my mid/late 30's.

Im thinking Im possibly being a cocky little young thing saying that now, and there is a chance i'l ttc 39 ..... but then again Caitlin and bean will be 14 and 12 then and I think id be nuts to go back - no offence babymilly lol! x

mariheartselijah wrote:

ohhhh you lot, is 30 really old???!! i didnt think so haha i think this is just the beginning of my babymaking not the end!!

i dont know how many children i want to have, but i dont feel that comfortable with the idea of something so final as sterilisation - its fairly easy most of the time not to accidently get pregnant and i kind of think if it happens even then it is probably just meant to be. that might change when im heading more towards 40 though...

I totally agree 30 isnt old to start a family at all, but when you have 2 families starting at 19 and still having babies in your 30s it does change your outlook slightly. Also i cant use any hormones anymore, i used to take the pill but now it sends me crazy (just ask joa ) so i need to make sure it doesnt accidently happen. There is always a chance of course anyone could feel their family is complete then change their mind at some point but i think you have to make a decision eventually that enough is enough xx