Dave went back to him mum's last night. I asked him to go. He'd been avoiding talking to me about having another baby so yesterday I pushed him on it and he's not ready, wouldn't tell me why or give my any reasons. He doesn't know when he will be. He just doesn't realise how important having a family is to me, and so it seems we just want different things from life. I'm absolutely distraught as I love him so much and know he loves me but I just can't go on waiting for him as it's all I ever seem to do. I am not putting my life on hold any longer.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this. He's already made sure our joint friends are on his side as he went round to see them last night and none of them have even bothered to send me a text asking if I'm ok.

I just feel as though everything is crashing down around me and I'm suffocating in saddness.

He's just been to collect Amelia to take her to his Dad's for the afternoon. Then tonight he's off to see a mate about organising his best mates stag do, so there is no time at all for us to talk. He organised this last night so it's pretty obvious that he counts many things to be more important than our "relationship".

How the hell did I end up with someone with whom I have so little in common and wants such different things from life? I feel conned.

Aww Lisa. Sending you big hugs.

Hopefully he will come to his senses and realise what he is throwing away. It may take him a while for him to see it.

It must be so hard for you hun because of how you feel about him but you deserve better Lisa. You deserve a man who wants the ame things you do. I hope you stick to your guns and dont settle for any less xxxxxx

Oh Lisa, so sorry to read this, that is really sad. Don't know what to say to make you feel better. Am i right in thinking he may possibly be starting a new job? And potentially you may all need to move? Maybe he feels things are too up in the air to add to your family now.

He is probably just keeping busy to keep his mind off things. Not helpful for you though.

Big hugs to you x x x Hope he comes to his senses.

Aww hun im so sorry. As Mara said hopefully he will realise how important you and family are. Sorry i cant give you any advice but big huggs from me Harrison and Lewis xxx

Oh hunny, im so sorry you are going through this.

Men can be really dim sometimes and it seems like Dave is having one of those times.

He clearly adores you and thinks the world of you. I am sure that he will pull his finger out and realise what an idiot he is being.

Try to keep strong, I am positive he will be back. But trying to get him to talk before he is ready is the worst thing you can do.

I know its not the same, but when James and I had been together a few months, we went through a similar thing. He was very distant, etc. So, I just basically told him to call me if he wanted to and if he didnt then I was going to carry on with my life. Within 48 hours of me making no effort to get in touch, he sent me a message saying he missed me. I ignored it as I wasnt prepared to give him a little ego boost to keep him going.

Within 2 more days he had got himself together and realised how much he wanted us to be together.

My point is, keep strong and im sure he will sort himself out in no time at all.

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

xx

awwww Lisa sending you hugs. Sometimes a break can be a good thing, like the ladies have said it might make him realise what a wonderful family he has and that he's being a bit of a dick. We're always here for you, so you just let it out. I know it hurts like hell, i feel your pain. Give it some time xxx

Thanks so much for your replies ladies.

I hope with all my heart that he comes to his senses and at least offers some explanation or even compromise.

He decided not to take the other job as he has a large project on at work that he feels committed to, but him working in/near London is definitely something he wants to do and something that I would hate.

We're deffo at a crossroads. We had the same problem when I was ready to move out of my shared house to get a place on my own but he decided that he didn't want to move in with me but still wanted to be with me. Well we called things off and I went and got a mortgage in principle on my own and started to look at houses/appartments. The fact that I was moving on without him scared the shit out of him and her really turned things around and that has lasted for the last 3 years, but no we're back where we started, but it's not like I can go and get pregnant on my own so he realises what he's missing out on is it lol.

im so sorry hun and sending u lots of love and big hugs

hopefully a break will make dave come to his senses and realise he does want the same as u

and i know its not the same as face to face friends but u have all of us to talk to whenever u need to xxx

I would be lost without all of you lovely ladies, and I mean that, not just saying it. You are all amazing and I love you all xxxxx

Ah Lisa, i am so sorry, i have been thinking about you all week and wondering how you are.

I really hope that he comes to his bloody senses, would he attend relate or anything like that???

Big Hugs hun xxxxxxxxxxx

we are all here for you xxxx

Do you know Jo, I think he would. He didn't want to leave yesterday but I made him, we both just needed to have a break. He kept telling me he loved me today when he came to get Amelia, he may well do, but obviously not enough. I'm going to have a look into Relate. Thanks lovely xxx

Oh bluddy Dave!

I am so sorry Lisa that its come to this, why the hell cant he pull his finger out and be there for you

You know I'm here for you, he won't get me on his side, I am a bit pissed at no one texting you if that is the reason

i hope you two can work out what's best for the you

Glad to be of service, he sounds like a reasonable guy so maybe you just need a third party to help you talk about things and draw you out

Good luck xxxxxx

aww hun i am so sorry i dont really have any advice hun just want to send you hugs and kisses hope your ok lovely xx

Aww i'm sorry Lisa hugs xxx

Oh Lisa hun, im so sorry to hear this, hopefully like the others have said Dave will realise what he's missing out on and come to his senses. Maybe he will be willing to talk when he brings Amelia back?? I really hope you sort whats best for you all xx

Remember that we are all here whenever you need to vent, or if you just need to speak to somebody and dont want to pick the phone up to him xx

Laura wrote:

Remember that we are all here whenever you need to vent, or if you just need to speak to somebody and dont want to pick the phone up to him xx

Oh Lisa I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through and just wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. Like Laura said, we are all here whenever you want us. It's not as good as real ones but > (((((((((((((((((((((huge hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

I hope Dave comes to his senses very soon!

xxx

God Lisa, im so sorry & shocked to hear this. You and Dave sounded like such a strong couple, I never saw this coming. Hopefully it is just a break and he will realise its not woth losing 2 people (I know he wont lose Amelia 100%, but he will have a different relationship with her) just because he's scared of gaining another LO.

I suppose its more than just extending your family, maybe he too is thinking about the differences you want in careers, homelife, location. I hope he is able to compromise. If you cant hun dont forget you will always have gorgeous Amelia to keep you proud & strong. Work may bring financial rewards to Dave, his friends may bring happiness & fun at weekends BUT Amelia will bring you a lifetime of joy & experiences that he will miss out on by not being fully involved. He will regret his decision in years to come.

Im pretty sure you just want things to work with Dave, but for the future you are an attractive, intelligent woman with the world at her feet. You're quite a catch xxx

oh Lisa, not what I was expecting to read. Sending you massive hugs from me and Chloe and I really hope things work out for you xx

Aww, Lisa I'm so soryy its come to this, He needs a big kick up the backside..you and Amelia should be his 1st priority. I hope you manage to have a good talk and sort things out. Big hugs hunni, and just to echo what all the others have said, there will always be someone here for you. xxxxxxxx

i was really surprised reading this, lets hope its just a temporary glitch and he can come to his senses soon. good on you though becuse so many women would have just let things tick along and been really unhappy in the meantime. x

i also am quite shocked to hear this and truly hope you can work things out hun

x x x x

Oh Lisa, i'm so so sorry your having to go through such a tough time atm, I really hope that you both work things out.
((((BIG HUGS )))) to you!

xx