We went to tumble tots as usual and after i was busting for the loo ( as is usual theses days...) so took her in with me and locked the door (or so i thought). Sophs wasnt having any of this waiting lark so pushed the door open and ran off while i was mid-pee! The door to the building was just outside the loos with a busy road to the left and a car park to the left.

So I rushed out the looa s quick as could and couldnt find Sophia anywhere. The mum outside hadnt seen her so i raced outside towards the road and no sign then went the other way.

Luckily she had gone through the hall doors and the tumble tots ladies followed her round as i wasnt there. I was so scared, of course imagining totally the worst. It was just horrble and makes me feel like i am not a very good mummy. I am a bit embarrased actually and feel a bit funny about going back (but i will for Sophia)

But more importantly, I need Sophia to listen to me so she can keep safe. I asked what she is like at nursery and they say she is really good on trips, listens, holds hands etc, so the problem is def with us.

I have looked up on the net strategies and they suggested doing practice walks with two ground rules( stay near mummy, listne to mummy staright away) and if she runs off to ask her to come back, then if doesnt, say, no, now you must hold hands for twenty steps, then try again and if that isnt working do 30 secs time out then try agan, that failing, go home and try again another day. So I will try this out but not sure how it will go. I also am thinking about getting one of those wrist reigns but i realise that is only a hort term solution.

Anyone else have wandering toddlers? What strategies have worked for you?

I need to tackle this and quickly.

thanks in advance,

MAndy xx

ooooooooh thats a scary one! don't feel weird about going back, anyone could easily have found themselves in that situation, horrible though!!!

as for wandering toddlers, i have one, he has never paid any attention to 'come here please' or 'we are going this way now' etc just walks off and gets really quite far before he even checks we are still there. i use a little life backpack although i know he is quite a bit younger than sophia....

i will never ever forget the feeling of walking down our (busy) road after work to find 2 ambulances and a police car across our driveway and all the cars stopped. i felt like i was about to die and couldn't move until i phoned mr.mari - turned out a young lad had crashed his motorbike right outside our house, but like you the images of elijah getting out of the front door and just running into the road absolutely haunt me!

oh, went off on a bit of a ramble there

Thanks mari,

Yeah, we have a little life pack too but she likes it as a bag, hates it as a restraint. But i suppose safety first. Just wondering though if the wrist thing be better so she can still enjoy the bag.

O knoe, the thought of never being able to have a hug again or read a story, doesnt bear thinking about. Partic concerneed as will have two bubbas to think about in five months so i need to know she will listen to me/that i can keep her and bubs safe

Mandy xx

Aw hun how scary for you! I wouldn't worry about going back, these things happen, every parent should understand.

We are having real issues with Imogen at the moment. She either runs off, or screams for me to carry her, this is all while i'm trying to push Joshua. It's a nightmare. I might try that strategy you mentioned, as nothing else will work for her. She has a backpack but will have major tantrum if you try to hold the lead bit so its completely pointless. We tried wrist but she again had a tantrum and just ripped it off.

Sorry not been much help but I do sympathise. x

Ohh scary!!

Isabelle used to be very naughty - I started her with reins on and she soon learnt to behave, she now knows she has to hold me hand when I ask (sometimes she hissy fits but I just stand there til she does!) and she knows if I say STOP she is to stop

Maybe give the reins (or wrist strap I used sometimes) a go until she learns to stay?

Shell you just need to let her tantrum, don't give in...if she thinks she can have a paddy and you give in...she will do it every time...you need to hold out so you win..she wont do it many times before realising its not going to work!

Izzy sometimes has a paddy if I ask her to hold my hand...she can paddy all she likes but however long it takes we do not move until she holds my hand! She tries it on every so often to see how far she can push me but cos she gets the same response she soon gives up!

Lisa wrote:

Ohh scary!!

Isabelle used to be very naughty - I started her with reins on and she soon learnt to behave, she now knows she has to hold me hand when I ask (sometimes she hissy fits but I just stand there til she does!) and she knows if I say STOP she is to stop

Maybe give the reins (or wrist strap I used sometimes) a go until she learns to stay?

Shell you just need to let her tantrum, don't give in...if she thinks she can have a paddy and you give in...she will do it every time...you need to hold out so you win..she wont do it many times before realising its not going to work!

Izzy sometimes has a paddy if I ask her to hold my hand...she can paddy all she likes but however long it takes we do not move until she holds my hand! She tries it on every so often to see how far she can push me but cos she gets the same response she soon gives up!

I kept just letting her tantrum and not give im but after last weeks disaster trip out which ended in me, Immi, and Josh all in tears I decided to try without reins the last couple of times we've gone out and actually she walked a lot better. She did run off once or twice but overall it was a lot better so I might just leave the reins.

Oh no Mandy, that is so scary! Ellie is a naughty one too, we have reins and a wrist strap as she often just makes a run for it.

Thanks guys,

At least not the only one with a wanderer!

I think i will get a wrist strap then, just in case. Dave suggested doing the method i said about and if i got through all the steps and still no good, then the consequence being the wrist strap on, i guess that could work

Will let you know how i get on. All that said though, she has been pretty good today. And whatever situation where she has listened to me i have praised her lots so hopefully that will transfer to the wandering thing.


Shell, sounds like you are having a hard time of it with her. Glad its improving without the reigns. I listen to your reply with interest as you are where i will be in 5 months so anything you find works please do let me know!

Thanks,

Mandy xx

I think its normal for kids to be like this with their parents.

Aimee is a total nightmare when she is with either myself or James, but when she goes out with pre school she is a little darling and holds their hands and does exactly as she is told.

x

We have a bckpack made by Ms Lisa for Caelyn. Caelyns been told now she either wears it or walks nicely and she willbehave herself if she knows the alternative is wearing her backpack.