Char you shouldn't blame yourself, yet its a normal reaction
Those people were all bad uns and took advantage of you in so many ways, its unfair to have all happened to you, and so young
I can't say I have experience of any of it, wont try to pretend I can imagine how hard it is - but we know you are a strong person, a good mum and don't need to be worrying about it.
Whats done is done and its made you into what you are now, you might not like that 100% but there are 3 people for sure that do! x