is it hypocrytical to get your child christened if you don't follow a religion or intend to bring your child up as a christian?

personally, yes

Hmmmm i dont think so. Im gettin Alfie christened and dont plan on bringing him up religiously but i will bring him up to half Christian morals. He can decide what he believes when hes old enuf but i personally would like to give him a good starting point.

I dont like it when people use a christening as an excuse for a party or to get presents!!

I think so yes

What is the point if they wont go to church?

A person doesn't require religion to learn and practice good morals!

Below is what Humanists believe - the belief that humans are perfectly capable of living good lives without relying on religion - I think most people want that from life and their children, so I cant understand why those who do not follow religion get their children christened.

''Humanism is an approach to life based on humanity and reason – humanists recognise that moral values are properly founded on human nature and experience alone and that the aims of morality should be human welfare, happiness and fulfillment. Our decisions are based on the available evidence and our assessment of the outcomes of our actions, not on any dogma or sacred text.

• Humanism is a naturalistic view, encompassing atheism and agnosticism as responses to theistic claims, but is an active and ethical philosophy greater than these reactions to religion.
  
• Humanists believe in individual rights and freedoms, but believe that individual responsibility, social cooperation and mutual respect are just as important.
  
• Humanists believe that people can and will continue to find solutions to the world's problems, so that quality of life can be improved for everyone.
  
• Humanists are positive, gaining inspiration from our lives, art and culture, and a rich natural world.
  

Humanists believe that we have only one life, it is our responsibility to make it a good life, and to live it flourishingly.''

Whether christening or wedding, if its in a church (in the eyes of the lord and all that jazz) and your not religious..why?

I won't be having my LO christened, I see no need. I can still bring my child up to have decent morals etc.

I will how ever be sending my LO to CofE school, but that isn't for religious reasons but the fact it has excellent ofsted reports..and the fact there is only a CofE or Roman catholic school in my immediate area.

i was brought up catholic but stopped going to church at 14, my oh does not follow any religion at all. the reason i brought this topic up is because both our parents think we should have ava christened because it's the ' done ' thing.

i refuse to do things to follow the 'norm', i know ava will be brought up with strong morals and values regardless.

I do agree that you can be brought up with good morals and be a good person without religion. BUT ellie is having a full rc baptism and I have no intention of taking her to church every week and certainly won't be bringing her up to be anti-abortion and to be against contraception.

My reasons for choosing baptism are:
both my mum and ohs mum are catholic and it would cause a lot if distress if I didn't get her baptised -- due to all that limbo stuff.

I do want her bringing up Christian or just a good person will do.

the real reason is: that church aided schools do very well, you would struggle to find a rc school that wasn't doing well. Our preferred school is a c of e (ofsted grade 1) but it's merging with a crap school and it rakes years and years to recover from this so if my preffered school hasn't recovered and we can't afford a fee paying school I can fall back on a rc school.

And the nicest church I could find is a rc church (I do actually mean the prettiest with a nice garden)!

So there you go!

Yes, It seems a bit pointless if you don't believe or intend to bring her up in the church

I've had both mine christened CofE but I don't go to church and don't intend taking the kids either - unless they ask when they are old enough to make that decision.

The main reason I had them Christened was because mine and OHs family 'expected' it. I'm not particularly religeous myself but I do appreciate religion and people's beliefs.

I could have put my foot down and said no to our families but why? it didn't hurt anybody to have them christened, whereas some of our family would be dissapointed if we didn't. We had two lovely days where we introduced our babies to Family and friends and not only christened them but celebrated their birth and let's face it - everybody likes a party and to show off their LOs - so why not?

I don't think it is hypocrytical - if my kids decide to follow a religion when they are older I will support their decision and help them in any way I can. I personally chose not to 'practice' a religion by attending church but that isn't to say I don't believe. I don't go to Old Trafford every week and stand in the terraces with a red shirt on, I don't even watch games on TV much so does it make me a hypocrite if I bought Thomas a mini Man U kit to please my Dad? I think not!

xx

I also agree its hypocritical. I myself didn't become baptized until I was 26, and fully understood what it was all about. Don't christen or baptize because it's trendy... it's almost sacrilege to do so. If you do this with your child..you are taking an oath as a Christian to raise them as Christians. I chose to not do any of these with my children as I want them to decide for themselves when they are capable and ready to make that commitment. Both hubby and I agreed on this long before the kids made their entrance. xxx

mandy wrote:

Yes, It seems a bit pointless if you don't believe or intend to bring her up in the church

I do see what you mean. But it isn't pointless, I listed my points (although my points wouldn't be seen correct in the eyes of the rc church).

It means an awful lot to her grandparents and as a mother I'll do whatever I can to ensure all of my children get the best possible education.

I do know that my reasons could be seen as very wrong but I'm just been honest and I really don't want to offend anyone.
x

What does it actually mean to 'follow a religion' or 'bring up Christian'? Does that mean you have to attend church every week and follow the bible to the letter? I doubt it . I also don't think being Christian means having decent morals - surely this is just good parenting? Does that mean that Muslims, budhists, sihks etc don't have decent morals because they don't observe Christianity? Nope!

Wether we like it or not we (those of us in UK - I'm not sure about Canada Jen) live in a traditionally 'Christian' country. To Christen your child within the church is 'traditional' certainly not 'trendy' and there is a big difference.

To say I am hypocrytical to Christen my children but not take them to church implies I am picking and chosing the parts of Christianity I want - well yes I am. I have read parts of the bible and whilst I find it facinating and certain parts very useful, I also find other areas extremely weird and outdated. Lets face it - it was written over 1000 years ago and based on events over 2000 years ago - of course we aren't going to agree/follow it to the letter . They sacrificed animals to god back then - I certainly wont be practicing this with my children . To all those who would consider me a hypocrite - I am asuming you wont be celebrating CHRISTmas with your children this year? You'll save yourself a fortune and I'm sure your boss will be over joyed to know you will be turning up to work on December 25th for no extra pay. You might argue that you don't enter into the religious side of Christmas celebrations and merely see it as a time to celebrate family etc but you still choose to do that at the same time as Christians do the exact same thing with a few extras thrown in. Surely if you are non-Christian you can celebrate family and get together to exchange gifts at any time of year?

My point is this - we are all guilty of picking and chosing celebrations based within religion yet it seems only Christening/baptism that makes us hypocrites? I personally find it much more hypocritical to completely deny religion yet celebrate religious holidays with our kids than to admit - as BabyMilly has done - to finding certain areas within religion useful and enjoyable within 21st century life.

xx

I dont think it's hypocrytical at all to have your child christened - it's personal choice. I was christened a RC but have never praticed it (well apart from a couple of years when I was between 7-9 as went to a RC school).

I haven't had Libby christened and don't intend to nor the newbie - mainly because we are non believers, we got married in a registry office and intend to have a non religious funeral (can't remember what the name is - a bit morbid I know). However, we will be celebrating christmas and easter because I do think the original meaning has kind of been forgotten and it is in our faces whether we like it or not (which I do in a way think is a shame).

If Libby came to me when she is older and say she wants to be christened then I will support her decision.

I probably haven't made any sense whatsoever

Debs, I agree with you.

I'm a good person and always try to do the right thing.

My ex fil was a rc church goer, he never misses it. But I also know he's a very bad person and in my opinion is pure evil! But many of his fellow church goers think he's a lovely man.

Debs wrote:

My point is this - we are all guilty of picking and chosing celebrations based within religion yet it seems only Christening/baptism that makes us hypocrites? I personally find it much more hypocritical to completely deny religion yet celebrate religious holidays with our kids than to admit - as BabyMilly has done - to finding certain areas within religion useful and enjoyable within 21st century life.

xx

celebrating Christmas at home with your family is not the same as standing in a church, taking up the Ministers time and lying to all the people there that you are going to bring your child up in the Christian faith. you might as well have a humanist ceremony and pick and choose the aspects you like without the religion

i was brought up with the church. iv only recently started going back. but i wont be having any of mine christened.

i think you raise a good point debs, i'm probably hypocritical because we celebrate christmas, however in my house religion is not a part of it, if i got ava christened i would be making vows and saying prayers which i don't believe in, that's why i've chosen not to do it.

Pixel I'm not going to lie to anyone. I am going to bring ellie up in the Christian faith.

Tbh, I don't really celebrate xmas and defo not easter, yes I buy gifts for my son, but thats about it. Xmas for us has no religious meaning at all, more along the lines of giving thanks. I don't do the whole gifts thing with everyone else.

Again, this is the way I have been brought up. I have in the past bought a gift for my mum and dad just to let them know that I love and respect them and thanking them for being there for me..ditto with my OH.
I don't take advantage of this 'holiday' but I celebrate it how I see fit.

BabyMilly wrote:

Pixel I'm not going to lie to anyone. I am going to bring ellie up in the Christian faith.

i'm speaking generally

Debs wrote:

What does it actually mean to 'follow a religion' or 'bring up Christian'? Does that mean you have to attend church every week and follow the bible to the letter? I doubt it . I also don't think being Christian means having decent morals - surely this is just good parenting? Does that mean that Muslims, budhists, sihks etc don't have decent morals because they don't observe Christianity? Nope!

Wether we like it or not we (those of us in UK - I'm not sure about Canada Jen) live in a traditionally 'Christian' country. To Christen your child within the church is 'traditional' certainly not 'trendy' and there is a big difference.

To say I am hypocrytical to Christen my children but not take them to church implies I am picking and chosing the parts of Christianity I want - well yes I am. I have read parts of the bible and whilst I find it facinating and certain parts very useful, I also find other areas extremely weird and outdated. Lets face it - it was written over 1000 years ago and based on events over 2000 years ago - of course we aren't going to agree/follow it to the letter . They sacrificed animals to god back then - I certainly wont be practicing this with my children . To all those who would consider me a hypocrite - I am asuming you wont be celebrating CHRISTmas with your children this year? You'll save yourself a fortune and I'm sure your boss will be over joyed to know you will be turning up to work on December 25th for no extra pay. You might argue that you don't enter into the religious side of Christmas celebrations and merely see it as a time to celebrate family etc but you still choose to do that at the same time as Christians do the exact same thing with a few extras thrown in. Surely if you are non-Christian you can celebrate family and get together to exchange gifts at any time of year?

My point is this - we are all guilty of picking and chosing celebrations based within religion yet it seems only Christening/baptism that makes us hypocrites? I personally find it much more hypocritical to completely deny religion yet celebrate religious holidays with our kids than to admit - as BabyMilly has done - to finding certain areas within religion useful and enjoyable within 21st century life.

xx

I wouldn't say that you are the type that I think of as hypocritical - because you believe in it and clearly have read the bible and take the parts you think will work in your life, there is nothing wrong with that

Maybe when I say it is bad if they dont go to church that's not what I mean - more that there are some people who get their child christened and that is the last time that child goes to church, the parents don't educate them in their religion and basically its never part of their life

Thats ^^ what I think is really bad, even more so when the parents admit to not even haing read the bible and say they aren't religious

Debs..was just answering Pinkyd's question as she asked it. Canada is founded on Christianity as well, but slowly seeing it chipped away from various other religious groups that find it offensive. The rite of baptism and christening is actually new testament based, after the birth of Christ when John the Baptist performed this ceremony on Jesus. The old testament part of the bible still contains useful information as human society hasn't changed much as far as behavior. I'm pretty sure animal sacrifices and God telling us to kill our first born's are no longer a requirement. LOL. Anywho, when I took on the responsibility of baptism as an adult, I understood that it meant that I am choosing to live a life in the Christian faith, with all of its components. Does it mean I attend church every Sunday?..no, but it means that I have to upkeep the promise I made to God as far as fellowship, prayer, meditation on the bible, and trying to live a decent and moral life..ie maintenance like you would a car! LOL I do know that over here they have family sessions with the minister or priest before the ceremony is undertaken to advise parents of the seriousness of the commitment you are about to bestow on the child. Same with marriage in a church here, we are all are required to have several counselling sessions before a minister will perform that service. If you are doing this to appease grandparents..family..inlaws...and not intending to take the commitment seriously, that I do find hypocritical. Just say no and tell them that the choice will be theirs to make when they are old enough to decide for themselves. xxx

We havent had Aimee christened, not because we are not religious (we arent btw), but because when I was pregnant, my MIL told me that my baby would go to purgatory if I didnt get her christened... so, me being me, stuck my heels in and refused to do it.

Then she obviously was seriously ill at birth and we did have her blessed before her operation, but I still wasnt keen on a christening.

I do think it is personal choice as to whether or not people decide to do it. I probably would have gone ahead with one, if it hadnt have been for the purgatory comment.

x

I personally havent and wont christen my boys or any children i have, i was never christened and i'm alright! (well i think so anyway lol)

I dont judge others for what they decide thats upto them but i dont follow religion, i wouldn't have a church wedding, and i would have a humanist ceremony for my funeral.

If however my children decide they want to follow religion i will support them and take them if they want me to.

Whats wrong with a naming ceremony?

I am CofE and was christened when i was little as was my hubby. I attended a Catholic secondary school as my mam thought it was the best school for me. Attending the school i was never pressurised to believe in anything i didnt want to and RE actually become my favourite subject when i was studying my GCSE's (because i chose to believe and not because i was forced). I read the bible alot when i was in school (through choice). I think alot of it is a load of codswallop (personally) but i like the things in general it teaches. Alfie has got his own bible which my mam bought for him when he was a baby and when he grows up i will read him some of the stories out of it. I will never force him into anything. I dont attend church every weekend but i do like to go with my family on Christmas Eve (christingle service) and easter. When i look back on my childhood i really remember these times that i spent in church as special times.

x