a wee place for us nutters just kidding my fellow comrades!

i sometimes find my self isolated and with no one to talk to thru the bad days and finding no one understanding the good days.. mainly cause im so hyper im banging off the walls and needing scraped from the light shade cause im swinging like a monkey singing yippiy aye aye do dangly day! i have anxiety problems and that coupled with hypo mania makes me slightly loony some days and other days i dont leave the house.. for days on end..

i had a thought that this topic could be a place where people having gone thru or are going thru depressions of all kinds could share their coping strategy's and stories and them who have came thru to the other side can offer their advice and positive stories to remind us on the darker days that it can be done!

xxx

Nice one Laura xx I will contribute my story/stories here later on. I should be doing housework now but im hooked on here

Good idea

I will add here too!!!

I have generalised anxiety disorder..............with elements of panic disorder at times!!

I have suffered this for many years.........some months/weeks/days are better than others. I just get on with my life, but every now and again it rears its ugly head where it bothers me quite a lot.

Right now, im struggling!! Post natal always effects me, must be the sudden drop in hormones or something!

I take Fluoxetine, and a magnesium supplement! I have noticed some big improvements since the magnesium, and can I recommend Chelated Magnesium 150mg per day from Holland & Barrett.........its safe to take in pregnancy too at that dose! Have a google at Anxiety/Magnesium, and you'll prob be surprised at the research done into it.

Although, my anxiety hasnt stopped me getting married (twice), having 2 beautiful children, studying for my career (including a 3yr degree), and holding down a good job for 16yrs................what it has done, is inhibit my enjoyment of some of these at times

I have suffered with depression since I was 14.
I was diagnosed with impulsive obssesive personality disorder - I don't really understand what it means.
I am currently taking Serttraline and will be changing to Mirtazapine next week.

I am also a recovering self harmer.
It is good to have a section like this as I know that may people that suffer with depression feel like they are alone xxx

i was on fluoxetine and risperidone and all it done was make me worse and very sleepy!

im back on the citalopram. The clozapine is to help with the mood swings and when i sometimes loose my self to my thoughts and let my head run away with its self.. technically they call them delusions and paranoia but i hate lables and prefer a comical term

i know what u mean when u say it doesnt affect how u do things but the enjoyment of them never knew bout the magnesium gonna google that if i could find something natural that helped i would. therapy isnt helping at all

is it just me or do u sometimes feel like ur in and out of the cpn's office and have achieved nothing ?? i never get to say how im feeling cause he centralises on how my moods been!!

when i was pregnant with ben i blew up at the doctors and told them if they never got this thing out my tummy i was gonna chuck my self in front of a train! that was my way of venting my frustration but they took it as literally so because of that i never get to talk bout what i really wana say.. and when i do i think he is sat there thinking im just being para LOL

Can I join the club too! Am on duloxotine which has been reduced to 40mg from 60mg cause of bubs! Am finding it a real struggle too, especially getting closer to my due date!

Xx

i have suffered with depression and anxiety since i was about 12/13. Had very low self esteem and was very paranoid up until about 21. I have been to see numerous Psychiatrists and i didnt find them at all helpful. At the moment i am on Citalopram and was also on Trazadone before i conceived and tbh think i need to go back on the Trazadone.

I used to self harm and my last episode was about 4 years ago. When i was 16 i slashed my arm so bad i had to have 10 stitches and now have a really ugly and prominent scar. I was also diagnosed with a personality disorder, I think there are about 8 types, cant remember which one ive got.

i know that my depression/anxiety stems from my childhood where i experienced domestic violence and mental abuse between my mam and dad. looking back now i can see that my father also must of suffered depression because of i can see alot of my dad in me (he passed away when i was 24).

i also suffered teasing at school because i had crooked teeth and had to wear glasses my friends used to desert me and call me selfish and ugly. so after years of doing alot of self analysis and having a couple of breakdowns i am still here to tell the tale x

when u were on the trazadone did u not feel spaced out?? i put on a serious amount of weight!!! als see knowing what u know now, now that ur a parent. do u find ur self justifying what ur parents done mentally??
reason i ask is i do this. i find excuses why i deserved some stuff and especially now being a parent with depression i can see how certain things came about, leading me to justify the behaviour. i know its not an excuse but on the bad days i feel like i deserved everything i got!!

kinky ur almost there and u are doing fab!! such a busy soul i never knew u pickied a name for babba.. i LOVE IT

the Trazadone helped me sleep thats why my doc told me to take it at night. yeh during the last few years i literally drove myself nuts trying to understand why my dad was the way he was. ive only done this since his death. i can see now why he behaved the way he did as he must've suffered depression. i try and go out of my way to "not" be like my dad ( i have his temper). yes often i have "blamed" my dad (and my mum) for me turning out like this and i can see how they could have avoided it - now im a parent. i do forgive my dad for mistreating my mam because if his younger days (before i was born) were like my teenage years then yes i can understand why he was like tha but at the same time i also feel sad that me (or the little girl i was) witnessed so much and suffered as a result x

good idea to have this group, i will be adding to it im sure! xx

I feel so much better reading that I am not alone.
Especially in the parental abuse thing.
My dad beat me and I found out yesterday that my stepdad was a paedo and my mum knew and still married him

awwww Emz :(hug): bet that was awful. so sorry to hear wot u just found out as well. just to clarify my dad never hit me, only my mum xx

Its nice to havesuch a good support network.
My mum had 5 kids iwth 3 different blokes and from what I have read they beat us and her.

How amazing is it that we have gone through so much and have come out the other side and have beautiful babies xxx

I know - I defo feel much stronger and wiser after hitting rock bottom so many times xx

my step mum is like some one out of a disney story its unreal! the other week me and my sisters were sat talking bout when we were younger and they had to come visit dad.. i lived with my dad they stayed with my mum.. every time they fell out i got sent away with him.. still no idea why! anyway... so all the stories revolved round memories of when she whacked us for simple things like.. perfect example

we were at the play park, typical small estate kind.. we got these wooden boards and had placed them over a gap that went to the firepole thing.. well it was ment to be a booby trap and the sister who helped me set it forgot it was there fell thru it and broke her collar bone! at the time it wasnt funny but we always kill our selves laughing when we remember that story. any way. she is a trained health visitor/mental health nurse and nurse and is currently a drugs councillor, which is a joke as she smakes the wacky backy! any ways end of the story is... she punished my sister because she fell!! never took her to hospital till the sunday night, accident happened on the friday tea time :@ i got grounded and made to stand in the bedroom.. oh and so help u god if u moved off the exact spot on the carpet she threw u on!! any ways... we were laughing because every single story we remembered ended in... aye then we got pasted or yeah u got a right decking for that one........ we laugh now.. sometimes

sorry for the long one.. hope u make sense of it

strange woman, heart of lead by the sounds of it . sorry to hear that you endured that x

we got thru to the other side. kinda we can laugh about some of the stories now. they are so ridiculous u cant help but laugh x

I am having a bit of a downer day
I am really strugling to find a part time job, I have applied for loads and am not getting anywhere.
I am the sort of person that takes these things to heart so am feeling crap x
I am taking my last sertraline tablet tomorrow and am hoping that when I start taking the Mirtazapine I will start feeling better xx
Laura hun, I am so sorry for your loss. I have had 1 mc so I kind of know how you must be feeling. :(hug):
Sending hugs to all on this threadxxxx

Aww Emz, sorry your having a bad day, fingers crossed the new tabs help take the edge of things for you. Dont know if you had already realised but "Gill&Will" is a life coach and has a few tough times herself. She has started a positive thinking thread on group chat. have a look at some of her blogs, that might help you to see some light at the end of the tunnel - big hugs xx

hope ur day is better today emz xxx

mini im gonna have to start reading this because iv made a few very very drastic changes in my life from yesterday. i have the bruises and claw marks from my mum and sister to show it. i called my cpn from the roadside shortly after cause it was the first time in months i felt like chucking my self off the bridge iv had enough of being every bodys dogs body. ..... prob wont see meg n tails for a while and like my mum said, iv messed them up enuff so best to stay away. im the head case in the family.. iv to stop hiding behind a mental illness and grow up, drop the chip from my shoulders.. mibi she is right. iv stopped my tablets as of today, even the antipsycotics.. its all in my head.

all in, iv had enuff.. if im dead to them thats fine.. there all out my life now. blocked their numbers, deleted off all my social sites and iv changed the house phone number... if i could move i would. bit extream some may think but after whats been said, iv known for years.. but to hear it... well. im done

lauraplus5 wrote:

kinky ur almost there and u are doing fab!! such a busy soul i never knew u pickied a name for babba.. i LOVE IT

Aww thank you hun! Can't believe I only have 15 weeks left! Little man is Rhys John Michael to give him his full title!!

I have found this week rough cause my boys (my reasons to smile) are away with their Dad this week and not back til Sunday! Although I suppose I should be making the most of the peace and quiet!

I hope everyone is ok!!

xxx

lauraplus5 wrote:

hope ur day is better today emz xxx

mini im gonna have to start reading this because iv made a few very very drastic changes in my life from yesterday. i have the bruises and claw marks from my mum and sister to show it. i called my cpn from the roadside shortly after cause it was the first time in months i felt like chucking my self off the bridge iv had enough of being every bodys dogs body. ..... prob wont see meg n tails for a while and like my mum said, iv messed them up enuff so best to stay away. im the head case in the family.. iv to stop hiding behind a mental illness and grow up, drop the chip from my shoulders.. mibi she is right. iv stopped my tablets as of today, even the antipsycotics.. its all in my head.

all in, iv had enuff.. if im dead to them thats fine.. there all out my life now. blocked their numbers, deleted off all my social sites and iv changed the house phone number... if i could move i would. bit extream some may think but after whats been said, iv known for years.. but to hear it... well. im done

If you need to talk hun then you know where I am!!
x
xx

awww Laura dont do anything you might regret later. its not all in your head at all. Mental illness is a nasty little bitch that fucks about with your mind, dont let yourself slide back into its grip. dont stop the tabs now, it will make you feel like shit physically. when i stopped mine before i had terrible dizzy headaches that made me feel sick. come and talk to us on here when u feel like your gonna snap, we will support you, dont pay attention to your family, dont let their words stick in your head and make you paranoid xx

I only have a few family members on FB and I hate hate hate them!
I am waiting for my auntie to send me the photos my Nan promised me for years then they are deleted and blocked!

Its good that we are all here and can talk openly and honestly.

I have been taking my Mirtazapine since Wednesday and they are making me stressy and short tempered but I am sticking with them for another week and hope that they help xx