Are you a private scratcher or loud n proud. Do you find somewhere private to dig in when the dreaded itch calls and til then walk along trying to rub both cheeks together to create friction in the vain hope it works or do you just go oh feck it and enjoy that feeling of utter relief

Im with billy connolly on this one. Just announce loudly you have an itchy arse and it needs scratching and amazingly ppl look away

Depends who I'm with - if its freinds I'd just say my bum is itchy

I have before now though got an itch in public and tried to get it discreetly, never works though does it!

haha i'm a private scratcher...never ever do it or announce it...ah i wish i had the nerve to be an out and loud scratcher!

LMFAO!!!!!! I really don't know what to say to that, other than I'm a full on bum scratcher but if I have a big big itch I have to have a private moment to really get stuck in xx

LMAO! Much like announcing you are about to rifle one off..cept..they sniff..then run! xxx

I love the arse cheek rubbing walk, its how speed walkers train you know. If they arent creating enough friction to blow a hole clean through the lycra they aint going fast enough

Oh for sure im a public farter too

Simply to avoid all bum scratching dilemmas..pop a pine cone in your crack..and leave it be..the walking does the scratching all on its own..and noone is the wiser!

oh no I cant public fart - its my luck if I did it would be a really stinky one!

Thats kinda taking vpl to a whole new level though unless you ram it right in

im a public scratcher and proud I am also a proud and public "wedgy" adjuster (front or back wedge)

if a bum bubble slips out in public i blame Cerys

Yeah gotta sort the wedge a bit sharpish. Last thing you need is to sneeze and end up with a surgically attached gusset

oooooh i hate public wedgies...i got one at our friend's funeral last month...omg i was so uncomfortable!!

Oh yeh I cant abide a wedgy - they have to get removed immediately!
I cant walk properly with a wedgy

Pmsl the things we talk about.

Totally and what a lovely feeling of relief. Isnt it weird how things like letting out a good fart, a good poo or releasing a wedge gives you an almost euphoric feeling of relief. Its that whole ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moment when you have been prarie dogging for a while and finally get to sit down and let loose

I was in tesco last week and you know you do that thing when the person ur with wonders off an you dont realise so you turn around talk to find your talking to a stranger....well i did it but i told the old man that i really needed to fart!! My mum was just behind him crying with laughter!

i enjoy the fart i let out when i get home from work ahhhhhh. They seem to disappear up the pipes for the afternoon as im sat at my desk. The minute my arse knows we are on the way home . . . . .Brrrrrrrmmmmpppppffffff !!!

Terri i nearly choked from laughing reading that LMFAO !!!!

Terri wrote:

I was in tesco last week and you know you do that thing when the person ur with wonders off an you dont realise so you turn around talk to find your talking to a stranger....well i did it but i told the old man that i really needed to fart!! My mum was just behind him crying with laughter!

OMG, I've done the talking thing but never said anything like that

MiniMeg wrote:

i enjoy the fart i let out when i get home from work ahhhhhh. They seem to disappear up the pipes for the afternoon as im sat at my desk. The minute my arse knows we are on the way home . . . . .Brrrrrrrmmmmpppppffffff !!!

you are hilarious! back up the pipes! it is actually what happens though when you hold one in for so long, it goes away!

ahh i defo have to get rid of a wedgy wherever i am, usuakk walking down the corridor at work.usually with my work so say ' stand behind me my knickers are up my arse (or fadge )'
defo cant fart in public though...and for the ass scratching, well jsut depents where the itch is lmao x

omfg terri seriousley pmsl here x

Oh yes, farts can be very considerate. the only thing i hate though at work is when you go to the loo and as you relax your muscles (for a wee wee) you let a little squeaker out Oh yes and you can bet your last rolo on it that there is someone in the cubicle next to you