i dont know if i want to cry or explode. Me and the OH just had a heated argument - it started because he wanted his 10 year old to have a "play" on his laptop ( which i always use). I wasnt using it but had a few pages open. I asked why he should play on it (his boy has downs syndrome) when he had a box full of toys plus Cerys's to play with. My mum was in the room at the time keeping Cerys occupied. Anyway a few heated word were passed back and forth. He said i was selfish etc etc. Right at the very end he said "well at least i was brought up properly" IN FRONT OF MY MUM !!!

Well you could've cut the air with a knife, i was so shocked i had to go outside. My heart was racing. i shouted back "how dare you say that in front of my mother" my mum went very quiet. Me and mum went through a hell of alot when i was a child and he knows my mum had a hard time. Even though i think he said it in the heat of the moment, he has crossed a line in my book. i would NEVER speak to him or anyone like that in front of their friends, let alone parents. His mum thinks the su shines out of his arse. My mum then left and didnt even look at him. i told him that was disgusting and he blamed me for being a selfish cow and making him angry enough to said that !!!

We've been having a few issues lately but i dont see how i can move on from this. I havent been myself for a few days, tired, not eating properly, plus Cerys has been ill.

Sorry just had to vent x

OMG how disrespectful! To say that in front of your mother is so awful, I don't know what to suggest

oh no ! that isnt very smart of him is it!! your poor mum i bet she felt awful and you .

OMG hun that is shocking. I would feel exactly the same hun that is so disrespectful to both you and your mum.

I hope you can work things out hun and he realises he has been an arse and apologises.

hun, wish I was there to give you a big hug, it was probably just said in the heat of the moment but I know why you'd be upset, Hope you're back on form soon back to super smiley meg ! you know where i am if you need to chat x

well i just spoke to my mum and he sent her a text apologising which she accepted. he did apologise to me too. its really pissed me off because my mum has Cerys for 3 days in our house (which is really his house, i moved in with him) when im at work. She cleans the house, cooks us dinner most sundays, buys cerys lots of little gifts. His mum does sweet FA, ok she's in her 70's but only gives a gift to Cerys on birthday or Xmas. The worst thing is, in my book, that we argued in front of Cerys, i said i would never let that happen because of what i witnessed as a child. i just dont know what i want any more, is it worth it after 5 years if we are staring to argue in front of Cerys.we havent been right for ages. i just couldnt face the upheaval of finding somewhere else to live - sorry to sound so depressing x

Thats pretty shocking even for being mad. Sounds like it was said in the heat of the moment but he needs to calm down and apologise, at least to your mum if nothing else

Wow, what an awful thing to do! Especially as it sounds like your mum was helping out playing with Cerys.

I would be fuming hun! He has some serious apologising to do... starting with your mum!

x

I have just caught up with your update.

I would try not to worry about making any big decisions right now, especially if C has been under the weather lately. You are probably emotional and tired and in a few days you may be able to think a bit clearer.

There is no excuse what he has done, and a bunch of flowers for your mum from him wouldnt go a miss, at least it would show he is trying to make it up, and also his appreciation for her helping out so much.

x

thanks ladies for replying. i just feel numb at the moment. it just feels like that might be the straw that broke the camels back. its not the first time he has said nasty things in the heat of the moment, i mean, if i really piss him off that much then is it really worth it x

thanks Laura x Awwww you're all so lovely because i really hate moaning x

Does he still have any teeth left after that? Meg..you deserve so much better and he has been getting on your nerves a lot. Perhaps a "time out" for him to realize how good he has it with you and his thoughtful MIL! Hugs darlin! xxx

as Laura said don't make any hasty decsions but i think you really do need to thnk about your relationship long term, you haven't been happy in a while and I know its not easy uprooting and having to fnd somewhere to live but put yourself and cerys first. x

Just wanted to send you big hugs and to say if he was my OH then he would have been out the door with his tail between his legs!!! His house or not!! I know how you feel about that one as this is my OH's house, in his name etc and he lived here before we moved in! But even so he knows which side his bread is buttered!!!

xxxx

thanx Jen and Pinky xx yeh will be doing some serious thinking. what makes it hard though is that he has a heart of gold, is generous and is a fantastic father. i just cant be doing with these bloody outbursts. its all ok to apologise but once you've said something, you cant take it back x

LOL Kinky when i get to the point and i say casually maybe its best if i move out, he goes off in a sulk, then the next day says "you're not leaving me are you?" with an apologetic look in his face x

awww hun i can see why u were so angry if my oh said that about my mum i would of lost my temper. You dont say things like that its not ur mum fault he got in an ass but im ok you and ur mum ok and its not caused problems between you too xx

I agree what others have said to think about what you really want xx

thanks carla x feel a bit better now i got it off my chest and ive had a Frey Bentos pie so im sorted

MiniMeg wrote:

thanks carla x feel a bit better now i got it off my chest and ive had a Frey Bentos pie so im sorted

What are they?? heard u mention them b4 xx

Ah meg, i hope you get things sorted, i know you metioned before about having probs.

big hugs hunxxx

glad the old frey has made you happy!

they are a pie in a tin which you just put in the oven. they've been around for donkeys years. yum yum yum x

ooohh thought u were gonna say a desert tin lol xx

hun i can see why your upset at what he said and he should not have said it, and yes any argument makes you question what you doing in a relationship.

but i just want to be devils advocate for a moment, i really really dont want to upset you and i not being horrid or anything, but perhaps i can give an insight that the other may not be able too.

if i read right the argument started because his son wanted to play on the laptop and you didnt want him too, ok thats fair enoguh but as a mom of a special needs child with a step parent in the house, i too would get angry if russ wouldnt allow rich to play on the laptop if he was monitored. yes he may have toys around and your daughter to play with, but from my experience, they see you having so much fun on the laptop so they want to have that too.

so although he was completely out of order for what he said and i do not at all condone that and would have threw his tea at him for it. i do see why he got angry in the first place, you say he is a fantastic father, to me he was sticking up for his son, just like a lioness with her cubs.

sorry to be devils advocate and its just my opinon but i kind of see why he got angry.
but i really do not condone his behaviour at all and think he should apologise to you and your mom and flowers maybe in order.

oohh hope i not upset you it was not my intention, it was purely to show things from a differnt light

thats ok Clare i totally understand where you are coming from its helpful to be reminded or the other point of view in the argument. sometimes though my OH will just give in to his son to avoid a tantrum and its that part i dont condone. As he only sees him once a week he tends to just let his boy do what he wants dont worry you havent upset me , i value everyone's opinion xx

ok thats ok,

unfortunatley i see alot of parents who do the same, i think its a guilt thing, but its no good to the child,

i hope things get better for you hun xxxx