OH problems, don't know what to do :(

Subject: Re: OH problems, don't know what to do :( Thu Oct 28, 2010 8:48 pm

I havent been in a situation in this either but didnt wanna read and run x
Hope things work out sending u hugs xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: Re: OH problems, don't know what to do :( Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:35 pm

hun, the ladies have given some good advice and some i'd imagine painful for you to read.

my advice is you know him, you know what he is like,

i work with alot of women in similar situations to you, and i've done research on the effect of domestic abuse on children, so have a different perspective to others.

what ever you decide i will support you, but i want you to think of something carefully, if he hit you again and this time was in front of harry, whether it was his fault or yours, could you live with that, could you live with harry growing up seeing a man who takes this step when pushed a bit too far

what would happen when harry was about 4/5 and saw mommy getting hurt would he step in and protect his mom...

as for the hitting, what else does he do that makes you feel he is controling you, does he moan about you working but then happy to spend the money, does he moan about the house, does he support you completely.

all i ask is that you think about things, done give any excuses you dont need to do that, then decide and i will support you in that, and i'd imagine i wouldnt be alone in supporting you here either xx

Subject: Re: OH problems, don't know what to do :( Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:53 pm

I totally agree with clare, she put it a lot better than me. i worked in a womens aid refuge for 6mths and honestly alot of what you have said reminds me of what the women described their partner like when the violence started. They too blamed themselves and justified their partners actions in many cases. It was hard also to see little boys as young as 2/3 telling their mummys they were fat/lazy/a biatch as it was behaviour they had learnt from their daddys.

With regards control, did you not say recently that he didnt want you to start into teacher training. Were his reasons legitimate or was he anxious that you would be mixing with other people and possibly earning more than him in the future. (I could be way off the mark there, im not even sure he was against the idea).

I hope you are ok today & we are always here to listen. Im not judging you, I understand it must be so hard to have to decide something like this. x

Subject: Re: OH problems, don't know what to do :( Fri Oct 29, 2010 12:26 am

snoopy21 wrote:: I totally agree with clare, she put it a lot better than me. i worked in a womens aid refuge for 6mths and honestly alot of what you have said reminds me of what the women described their partner like when the violence started. They too blamed themselves and justified their partners actions in many cases. It was hard also to see little boys as young as 2/3 telling their mummys they were fat/lazy/a biatch as it was behaviour they had learnt from their daddys.

With regards control, did you not say recently that he didnt want you to start into teacher training. Were his reasons legitimate or was he anxious that you would be mixing with other people and possibly earning more than him in the future. (I could be way off the mark there, im not even sure he was against the idea).

I hope you are ok today & we are always here to listen. Im not judging you, I understand it must be so hard to have to decide something like this. x

He wasn't completely against it, he said it would be good for me, but we would need to make sure we aren't broke whilst I do the course and get into debt if you know what I mean, but it cause an arguement. He's not abusive to me, doesn't call me names or moan that I work, it's just every now and then (however its very rare) we have a blazing row and it gets heated (not always violent)...

I don't know, still confused, going to docs tomorrow cos I've been feeling down for a while now, not just because of him, I want to see if they can offer some sort of help or advice or anything to stop me feeling this way OH problems, don't know what to do :( - Page 2 548646

OH problems, don't know what to do :( - Page 2 548646

Thank you girls, love you all xxxxxxxxxx

OH problems, don't know what to do :(

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