I am so angry right now. Had consultant this morning. Got there to find it wasn't my consultant some bloke i didnt know and they had the wrong notes. Had notes for another patient and clearly knew jack shit about me. While they were searching for MY handheld notes which i had handed in and they had mislaid I explained what had been going on.

Explained had a previous history of pre eclampsia with c which ended in an emergency section at 38 weeks and quite a traumatic delivery and on bp tabs for 5 months after following a 10 day stay in hosp. Explained all had started same way at this kind of stage and that midwife had been concerned about my symptoms and asked me to se them and was currently signed off work. He sked what symptoms and i said palpitations even at rest which got worse on only mild exertion and got light headed and breathless really easily, that i have had headaches every day for weeks now and cramping low abdo pain though had a negative urine test. He didnt ask about the protein or tell me what my urine dip for today had revealed He seemed more interested in whether or not i had really considered my elective section decision and did i want to reconsider a VBAC and when i said no asking me to explain why. So of course i got stressed going through it all again with him as id already had all this explaining how scared the ideaof vbac made me considering the type of delivery and the post natal depression i had last time. But stood my ground which is a moot point anyway because MY doctor has already said its fine with him.

He then asked nurse to do my bp and pulse, ironically today was perfect, aint that always the way and said 'oh its all fine' ina way that made me feel like i was being stupid or making some kind of fuss and i said well thats good and im pleased but its been shooting up and down ive got the recordings in my bag. He didnt want to see them though. He asked ow long my headaches and breathlessness had been going on and i said about 3 or 4 weeks and he asked if it hadgotten worse or stayed same and i said headaches were same but breathlessness was worse. He then went on to explain (quite patronisingly) that palpitations are normal in pregnancy but if i was worried i could see a cardiologistbut he didnt know how long the referral would take and i didnt have a fast pulse today and i said again ive got recordings from last few weeks but he didnt want to see them. I said i knew they were normal as id had them with c but they were worse this time, with symptoms and affecting my work and explained what i did for a living and wat should i do about going back to work. He just said i would have to make some adjustments.......no furthr explanation or input apparently neccesary there. He said my breathlessness was just the baby pushing on my diaphragm. The mw said this wasnt the case as im only 19 weeks so that wouldnt be happening yet and that was what concerned her but by this time i was too fed up to pursue it.

Just as i was going to leave they noticed my notes with caelyns weight on it and said Oh she was small wasnt she and i said well yes i had severe pre eclampsia and they said oh ok you will need some extra scans and i said i know ive ot 20 week next week then dopplers at 22, 24 and 26 and he said no the growth scan wont be til 28 weeks and i said i have those too but im having dopplers in between, look its documented there and pointed and he just kinda shrugged and said well if you are definate on the section we will get you back around the 28 week scan and discuss dates. I said well i already have an appointment I will just keep that. The nurse was going on about how i fit the criteria for several clinics having hd a previous section and i said well i came to this one as my mw felt my bp was more relevant. Way to make a person feel wanted

By time i got home i was so angry i was in floods of tears. Rang the community midwives office but my midwife is on a day off. Spoke to a lovely lady called Suzie who apologised and i said the midwifes dont need to apologise its clinic that dont seem to give a shit. She went off and found my notes and spoke to them at clinic then rang me back. She said they thought i had gone away happy and reassured and that they had been happy with my bp and pulse today. I said as a one off bp it had been good which was good in itself but i have plenty of readings both at home and at gp which shows its up. She said to keep taking it at home. She also said they felt i shouldnt be at work til palps either sorted or see cardiologists but they dont get involved in sick notes i had to go back to gp and i said fine was happy with thatand had gp appointment booked but im not psychic so might have helped if they explained that. She then said she felt bad i had been sent away so upset and worried and asked if i knew th day assessment unit and i said very well as had been there several times with caelyn and she said the midwives would always see me if i was worried and could go there and if i did have visual disturbances or a spike in bp she wanted me to go there to get it recorded properly in my notes.

Phoned neil and hes madder n a bolt of lightening about it all and was nearly in tears himself cos hes 30 miles away working and couldnt go with me cos he would have gone mental. I said if that was how they were going to be at hospital id rather just see my mw as she actually knows me and cares. All the fobbing off i got last time could have ended up losing me C as by the time she was delivered we were both ill and i was told it wouldnt happen again and once again im being brushed off and ignored and im furious and upset. Sorry for long rant, i now have a massive throbbing headache all over my scalp and neck and eyes burning from crying so hard from sheer anger. How can i trust them to deliver my baby safe when they cant even manage a clinic appointment

oooooooooooooo what a fing farse!!!! Its just wrong and professional.

i'd be fuming too.

did they say why and where your consultant was? can you arrange for another appointment to actually see him

Oh god hun, I'm so sorry with how useless they've been!!! What a complete and utter prick, can you not demand to see your actual consultant? Please try and calm down though hun, it's not healthy for you to get worked up (sorry I know you already know that). God I am so angry for you right now, it's absolutely disgusting how they are trying to fob you off yet again after everything you have been through xx

He sounds like a twat! How can he say all that when he doesnt have a clue about your history. And what the heck was pushing for a vbac about, eh not really relevant to the appointment Mr!

Id be really upset too, your mw team sounds lovely but. You sound to me (who is a self confessed dimwit), that you are having bp problems that need very close monitoring. How can Drs not see that? There's one thing reassuring people but its another thing brushing it under the carpet and hoping for the best.
Could you go to another clinic where they listen better or is that one supposed to be the best for BP/antenatal risk factors?

Hope you have calmed down a bit. Put your feet up and try and chill this afternoon. Hopefully Neil gets home on time today and can look after you. x

what a bag of crap. And what a crap bag!!! Either complain about him or just make sure you don't see him again.

Glad MW was of help - it's ridiculous that you are being put through this BUT (this may not be much comfort, bear with me ) if this is what it takes to ensure you get the treatment and delivery you both want and need then chalk it up to experience. That is, they got you on the hop today - they faffed about with no notes etc. - you were put on the back foot by having to explain everything again etc. so although you're now thoroughly pissed off and upset (and of course they're talking out their arses) it will add to your armour and determination to make sure the same farce or a meeting doesn't happen again. Hope that came out right

Have a glass of something soothing (coke's your tipple atm isn't it?! ) and write down all your concerns / points for future reference - in bullet points or numbered - just so they are out of your head if nothing else.

Sorry can't be more help - but if it helps I could add a whole heap of useless midwives to your crap consultant and we can have ourselves a firework party by tying some firecrackers to their arses xx

Thats bloody appalling, you have been passed off like that again, if your consultant wasnt available the app shoud have been rescheduled rather than the farce you hav had to endure.
hugs hun, get some rest an try and shift that headache xx

wow im fumoing for you!!!! i cant believe how patronising they were with you can you rescedule an appt with your own consultant? insted of this idiot who knows nothing about you and is just presuming things and going all textbook on you?? x

Ive actually placed the fecker now. He is a registrar (one below a consultant) and the guy on call when i was admitted at 37 weeks with C who sat on me for 4 days waiting on a f-ing lab piss test before he would induce me which is why it all went pete tong in the 1st place!

To be honest i probably could push for a review with my consultant but after last time and today i dont trust the medical maternity services there further than i can spit. I put my trust in them one last time and they royally blew it out the water again. Ive told neil i will see them to get my sec date in 8 weeks and as long as my bp isnt going sky high and my protein doesnt go up i aint going anywhere near that place if i can help it, will see my mw and gp instead, and if i do have to go back there i will go to day assessment first to make sure im seen by a midwife and find out who the consultant is on that day cos if that bloke comes anywhere near me again hes gonna find himself practising medicine with a speech impediment cos i will kick him SO hard in the balls they are gonna end up in his mouth. And once i have had my section (not a friggin vbac) i will be out that bed and leaving as soon as i can stand as unfortunately the clinic im in is the pre eclampsia/bp clinic so theoretically im already in the best place which is as distubing as it is ironic.

Its kinda lucky neil wasnt there today as livid doesnt even cover his mood right now, ive already written it all out for mw and gp anyways but other wise im def up for a medical firework diplay grace.

Bastards! It's lucky you have such a good mw cos the clinic sound ridiculous! What the hell has it got to do with him wether your having a vbac or not? Your body your baby, they cocked up so much with C no wonder you don't trust them! I'm so angry for you!

OMFG Mario I can't begin to believe the long list of fecking incompetance that you've had to face Why the hell are the not at least referring you to a cardiologist??!!!?!?!?!?! Can your GP not just refer you to one, rather than you have to risk seeing that tool again?

It's good that at least you have the support of you GP, MW's and day centre. xxx

you would think with your notes in front of them, your own recodings, past history and your own knowledge they would take the time to stop and listen. i hate clinic visits, its like a shopping que, they get u thru the conveyor belt as fast as they can !! id stick with ur day assessment unit

i had a consultant like him with ben. i refused point blank to see him. iv met him once since having ben and refused to let him near us.

sometimes its not worth the fight, go with what u know and *$%£ the rest of the idiots who dont bother to do their jobs right. its your baby, your care. ur entitled to pick and choose

im quite appauled at how they brushed over it and started being pushy on the vbac.... must be his forte.

all that friggin stress, u went in with a decent bp and prob left with a sky high one :@ *$%£.... scoose me!

huggles x

bloody hell, no wonder you're upset. These people are supposed be trained and able to re-assure women at such a vulnerable time - TOSSER !!!!!

So glad this Suzie mw was more understanding. Not being sexist here but even though he's a consultant, he's a MAN and wtf do men really know about carrying a baby and all that goes with ???

Sorry you had a crap day, just hope it gets sorted soon for you and you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy xx

That's shite.

Sorry I didn't have time to talk earlier, had to go off to work

WTF? Do they frikken know anything? What is wrong with these people!!! You are half way thru your term and so little has been done for you, AND the run around you have been given with your prior history?? It's time to get mad hun and demand better treatment for you and your bubs. I would gladly call them for you should you forward me their phone number to lodge a complaint. What pisses me off even more, is that you just aren't some uninformed naive lady who's just fallen off the back of a turnip truck...you are an highly educated ER nurse, who knows what is going on with your body, and yet they still pass you over like you are a numpty. Both ends have let you down, the MW office and your consultant, and both should hear how they are incompetent mindless a-holes who need to step it up in regards to your prenatal care! FFS..they can't even return phone calls! If anything happens to you hun..or that precious baby...I can't even go there in my mind! You haven't been feeling well for a very long time and knowing you as well as I do, you are giving us the cleaned up condensed version of it! Please please be ok! Thinking of you!

I had this at the beginning of 2nd pg too.....so I did used to take myself off to the assessment clinics if i was anxious to be checked, and also you can just phone and ask to be put on your consultants next clinic list! Tell them when u phone that u only want to see the cons.

I had labile BP too, so they should take notice of this...muppets! Is your protein count not in your hand helds for today?

If your not happy about waiting (which i wouldnt be)....phone the clinic in the morning and say 'i was unhappy with yesterdays apt and therefore could you add me on to see my consultant in his next available clinic, and also could you put a note on my file to see the consultant only in future due to my previous history and my fears.....Thankyou '

I am still so angry for you hun! You kinwo whats going on with your own body and you are a nurse so you are educated on such matters!

LisaG - he has made a cardiology referral cos when he said i can if you want i said actually yes but he doesnt know how long its going to take.

Laura - i know what you mean if i ever walk in and see him again im leaving off the bat and demandingits rescheduled. After i realised who he was i was even madder. Hes the reason i waited 4 dys for induction and ended up with an emergency section and on anti fitting meds. hes already put my little girl in danger and hes not doing the same to my beanie. As for the vabc i actually found that as stressful as the rest of the appt put together as i already had a big thing about that and luckily my consultant listened to me. Why i had to go and defend myself again is beyond me. maybe im stupid but after last tme im *$%£ phobic about the thought of a normal birth, i was on the verge of panic attacks running up to the first appointment and the consultant saw all that and said it was fine and didnt push it.

Lisa M - man o man, i havent even looked in my handheld notes since i got home, just too upset and really down about it all. Been really tearful all day. Ive got mw next thurs and gp monday and i trust my mw and my lady gp who is who im seeing monday and iv written it all down cos i dont want to go back to clinic now. If i thought my bp would stay stable and protein stay away i never wannago back to clinic again except to get my section date (and no doubt defend myself again!)

Kayleigh - hope you are ok and this story didnt make you feel too raw xxx

Sorry if ive gone on lately. Between all the bugs c has been havingand her teeth and my headaches and stress of bp and being off work and worrying about how its going to affect my money and maternity and just worrying if beanie will be ok im basically at the end of my rope now and just dont think i can face much longer. Sorry am getting to tears again now so gonna eat my dinner and check in later x

Awww Mario You shouldn'have to defend yourself especially not to him, he is the sole reason your having another section! If he hadn't made C's birth so traumatic for you then maybe you'd consider it! It's a shame you didn't realise who he was before, you could have tld him exactly why you werent considering a VBAC! xxx

hun thats what we here for too listen and shout in your defence hun i'd ask midwife if you can write in your birth plan that he comes no where near you, and then i'd send a copy to consultant and have it put on your hosptial notes.

is there no way you could change hosptials, i know its late but might be a thought.

what an A-hole, thoguht the doc i saw yesterday was crap some of them are chronic.

hope your feeling better

Cant change hospitals unfortunately. as im high risk the nearest centre is mw led and wont accept me and afer that its a good 40 mins by car to any others so would rather not risk it.

The hospital I'm being transferred to with the next pg is 45 mins away whereas the other one is 20 but no way on earth will they ever get me back there!

Is it the same hospital you work at btw? xx

Yes it is which makes it hard as know so many ppl there. I dont think i wanna be so far away from C either while im in tbh

I suppose its work life and your private life conflicting a bit too much! I have faith in you that you can make them lsiten to you, they caught you f guard today bu it wont happen again! If all else fails you can set C on them

Well have woken up today less tearful but still got a splitting headache. Am not sure why but pretty down today, think its just knocked me and for some reason made me feel v low. Silly I know

Ive written it down and decided im gonna have a chat to my gp monday and mw thurs. Im gonna go back to clinic jan cos i need my section date but will be forearmed this time if they start to calmly stand my ground. In mean time if im worried about my bp or pulse im going to my mw or day assessment as i dont trust the obstetric doctors anymore. Im not thrilled i have to have their input at all but its that or a vbac and i just cant face that. Will see what cardiology ay about my pulse and if can go back to work without it affrcting me i will otherwise will speak to gp again. Once bubs is safely here im discharging myself as fast as i can, bascially if i can stand and my bp isnt a problem im going as i feel i will be better at home.

Still not much fun to be around as im prety blue right now but im calmer today. Thanks for listening yesterday, sorry if i was bad tempered at all x

What is the procedure for discharging yourself and baby? Can you just say we're leaving? I know I'll be having a section next time and they like to keep you in at my hosp for a minimum of 4 days afterwards, longer if theres complications! If I'm feeling well and obviously the if the babies ok can I just say I'm leaving when I feel ready? x