i was just watching the baby whisperer and thought i would ask here fora bit of advice (although i have also read her book haha).

elijah can fall asleep on his own, but doesn't very often, i usually find myself feeding him to sleep. his daddy can do that shhh pat technique but eli just won't take it from me (or do i give up cos i have another option hmm). so that's our first issue - i'm having trouble getting him to sleep without feeding.

secondly, once eli is asleep it's a nightmare trying to put him down, i can put him in cot on couch on floor on blankie etc and unless he is absolutely worn out (about 2am at the moment) he wakes up and screams...now we have neighbours on both sides and above/below us so i feel i need to try and keep quiet, and i don't want the baby distressed so i find myself either sleeping sitting up (drifting off before elijah does) then trying to sneak him into bed, or like the other night, being up til 7am repeatedly picking him up, getting him to sleep and then waking him up by putting him down...

even in the day for naps i can't put him down just now and it's getting really difficult to get anything done at all! i want him to sleep but i also want to go to the toilet, have a shower and eat haha

once he is in his cot he will sleep for 2-6 hours and if he wakes in the night will go back down relatively easily, its just *getting* him to bed..and getting to put him down during the day is a nightmare....

sorry that was really long and probably didn't make sense (holding the baby, surprise haha)

I would say that you can't get Eli to sleep without feeding him because he knows that you are his food source and his comfort. It works with Daddy because he doesn't feed from Daddy. (you are breastfeeding aren't you?) they can smell the milk apparently.

When he does fall asleep on you how long do you wait before you put him down? If his legs and arms are all floppy then he should be in a deep enough sleep not to wake up when you put him down... have you tried warming the sheets where you put him as obviously going from your warmth to the cold of a bed might startle him.

Have you tried putting him down when he is sleepy but not quite asleep... so instead of feeding him to sleep feed him to sleepy and then put him down and try shhhh and stroking him.
I used to have to rock Tyler in my arms until his eyes were heavy and he used to make a mumbly noise... once he did that I would pop him in the cot and go SSHHHHH until he drifted off.

sorry if you've already tried all the above though!

we have! haha sorry, he will on occasion manage to drift off on his own, but it is 99% not anywhere near me, which is unfortunate as i am with him 24/7! i wait til he is well asleep usually and we often put a hot water bottle down to warm the sheet, but he still knows somehow!

who knows, hopefully by the age of 5 or so i will be able to have an early night...

I didnt try it so not sure if it will work, but my midwife suggested to me to wear a top all day, then put it into the place where i wanted the baby to sleep, to lie on. Apparently the smell of you rubs off on the clothes and is comforting. Might be worth a shot...

Mandy xx

Does Eli have a dummy hun? or 'something' that he can snuggle/suckle? If he is feeding to sleep he has obviously become accustomed to suckling to sleep so try replacing your (.) with 'something'. Hannah has to 'suckle' to sleep but she wont take a dummy. She usually buries her head under my left arm and sucks on my top (I have a permanent wet patch ) but I have replaced that with a primarni blankie and now anytime I want her to sleep I either pick her up with a blanket around her (up round her neck and head so she can turn her face into it) or I pop her down with one kind of arched around her head.

I have mentioned before that Hannah likes to be VERY cosy. She sleeps in a 'nest' with al sorts of blankies and creature comforts and she is happy. Basically I have a folded over cot duvet under her fitted sheet so it is squashier and also a rolled up cellular cot bed blanket in an arch around where her head goes (also under her fitted sheet). This creates a kind of nest that she is cosy in - she likes to feel enclosed and protected - I suppose as if she were in my arms. She then has a fluffly blankie that she folds in her arms and pulls to her face to snuggle/suckle. Yes it freaks me out that she quite often has the thing across her head but it's only light. Maybe you could try doing something similar for Eli? he may feel a little exposed being moved from the warmth and comfort of your arms to the expanse of his cot?

Other than that I don't really know what to suggest hun. I wouldn't worry about the neighbours too much hun, it will be better in the long run if you nip it in the bud now as there may come a time when even feeding wont put him to sleep and he enters the tantrum stage and fights sleep and then the neighbours really will have something to worry about

Sorry not much help hun. I have been very lucky this time that Hannah is a fabulous sleeper but Thomas was the opposite and I do sympathise. It's soul destroying when you think they are out for the count and you put them down and the screaming starts again. The nest thing did work briefly for Thomas but I'm afraid at 6 months I did have to resort to a form of controlled crying which worked like a dream within the week. It's not an easy thing to do but there is a light at the end of the tunnel hun - Thomas slept 13 hours last night with a 2 1/2 hour nap this afternoon and he was like Eli once

xx

haha! aw debs always there with a cheerful word in my ear i think the nest idea is a really good one - when we moved eli into a crib that was the only thing that worked, making a towel ring above his shoulders under his sheet so maybe i will try a bigger version in the cot. i don't blame him, i wouldn't want to be cosy and comfy then suddely in bed but mummy has to sleep!

eli won't take a dummy and hasn't for a few months, but he is quite fond of his little taggie at the moment, maybe i could start snuggling him into that hmm good thinking!

mandy, when elijah was very little putting used breast pads tucked into his moses basket worked wonders! i had forgotten about that (how quickly you forget your little tricks haha), so maybe i will put a vest or something suitably grubby under his head

thank you ladies! (p.s debs i can't wait til i think of something you don't have advice for haha)

I agree with Debs hun. Has eli got a comfort blanket? I now he hasnt got a dummy but maybe he still needs the comort to go to sleep.The only way I can get alfie to sleep during the day is to snuggle him into my armpit with his "blue bear" comfort blanket pulled over his face. Within seconds hes out like a light. The other day it was in the washer so i had to put his hat over his face as it was the only thing i have to hand. He hates feeling exposed and once its over his face thats it!! I take it away once hes asleep thjo.

x

yeah i think the taggie might be the way to go - he likes his giraffe best but the times i have put it in the cot with him whenever he moves it jingles and wakes us all up haha (not funny at the time!) so maybe getting him used to a blankie or something will help

Lol Mari - I wouldn't neccesarily call my rambling 'advice' hun. I just have two very different kids so have a lot to talk about. I don't have any experience with teething (yet) as Thomas never struggled at all with any of his teeth - even now he is getting his last two through (numbers 19 and 20 are on their way) he is never disturbed by them. I really hope this is one case where my two are the same but I fear I may be dissapointed by my little drama queen

Amy that is exactly like Hannah - has to have something over her face or right up to her face to sleep.

xx

I would try a comforter maybe sleep with it to get your scent on it. I agree it needs to be sorted sooner or later as it will be harder to break the habbit when older. I tried not to rock or feed my 2 to sleep but put down awake. H was good but he had a dummy so was having to put that back in at night till he could find it himself, he also has a duck he goes to bed with. Lewis spent quite a few hours in my bed when younger as he cried alot. I took his dummy off him at 2months and he sucks him thumb as a comforter. He sleeps ok now but have had a few hiccups when hes under the weather.

Hey Mari, sounds very similar to Edith, i have discovered than when she sleeps in th car seat she sleeps longer, she is currently there now complete with snow suit still on but i darent move her to wake her because once she wakes around lunch time she is awake for the rest of the day with 10-15 min naps inbetween, i generally think she likes being very snug, i have put her into a growbag and she has spent the last 2 nights in the moses basket instead of our bed haha. at least until the last night feed around 5.30 ish but thats aso when she is very windy.
i am still cudling Edith to sleep but we have time to crack that yet.

Good luck, i hope you get things sorted

thanks jo - the more tired you get the harder it is to put something into action isn't it haha he is best friends with his taggie now but it just isn't a boob at nighttime! a lot of the time it's my fault because i just can't face spending half the night putting him back to sleep (although its a false economy isn't it - he will only learn if i go through it, but i'm too knackered to get on with it hmm)