so we had a talk and have decided that we simply can't afford for sam to be off work any longer, we're not claiming benefits, no housing benefit or anything, so we've been living pretty much off my savings...and the wedding is taking the last of that, he needs to get a job

but with lily-ann going into a wheelchair(she has her app on 15th dec to get fitted) and lewis only just taking steps and needing a buggy, there is no way i could go out alone with both

so when he finds a job i'm gonna be basically house bound with two kids!!

Aww hun, that's going to be really hard. i'm sorry i don't know what else to say to help
Is there a reason you're not on benefits? as they are there to help people in situations like you are in. xx

Do you think if you claimed everything you can, including what Lily-Ann is due - could he do part time and you be ok?

Kenty you really need to claim what you are entitled too - you more than anyone are 'entitled' to help and you and the family shouldnt suffer cos you dont claim it!

we're not entitled to IS as he could work, and we don't agree with claiming JS when he has no intention of working so not really owt else we could get...so we're fine getting nothing

aww hun im sorry, can you not claim carers allowence for lily-ann??
will a buggy pod or something fit onto the weelchair or could she use a pushchair if you need to go out?? x

If he was part time I am pretty sure you'd get help with rent and council tax

do you get the DLA for Lilly-Ann?

I agree with the other ladies. You really should claim what you are entitled to.

It must be so hard in you guys and it would be better for all if you if Sam had some time off to help out rather than a full time job x

Just saw the other replies. You can get DDA and also carers allowance x

Lisa wrote:

Do you think if you claimed everything you can, including what Lily-Ann is due - could he do part time and you be ok?

Kenty you really need to claim what you are entitled too - you more than anyone are 'entitled' to help and you and the family shouldnt suffer cos you dont claim it!

with DLA, carers(although i know alot of people see that a mother shouldn't be able to claim carers as it's her 'job' already) and housing benefit part time would be enough as he'd get WTC too(although no HB with part time hours)...but tbh i don't wanna be 'benefit scum' for the rest of my life..i want my kids to know that if you want something you have to earn it

gemz...have tried researching about buggyboards and stuff but until i know what type they will give her i dunno, and she can't use the pram as lewis is constantly kicking her which is why they're moving her to a WC

i understand you don't want to live off benefits and want your kids to know you have to earn things but i really think you could claim something ust to help you out at the moment and really it's just your tax coming back to you.
As for housing benefit, Matt works full time and we still get hb so you probs could too.

I know what you mean about benefit scum...but you don't fall into that category at all - you have no choice but to stay at home and its families like you that people will never moan about paying taxes to help out!

Without sounding harsh....you need to decide if you are being to proud and maybe just going with the flow a bit this time will benefit the whole family

Besides, Lewis will when he is older know exactly why mummy stayed at home - he wont look at you in a bad light at all! I also cant imagine for one minute that any child of yours would be brought up to think being a bum was ok!

Cant add too much except once you know what you aregetting id also reccomend a buggypod xxx

it's not being too proud lisa...sam loves working so i'd be happy for him to go back to work but it's the being housebound part that is bugging me! lol

lily-ann is getting DLA...she only gets middle rate care and too young for mobility(my sis' bf has a 'weak ankle' and gets high rate for both!) and they've even now refused to give us a disabled badge to be able to park in disabled spaces :? the government don't seem to think disabled toddlers are 'important' at all

thats pants, its just as hard with a toddler as it would be with an adult

If he was part time you might not feel too bad about being on your own at home, 3 days goes quite quickly

Cant really add much- though I always manage to lol. Agree with other ladies you are definitley not benefit scum!!! You should claim what you are entitled to.

As for others thinking you shouldnt be entitled to carers allowance for your own child- utter tosh! They clearly dont understand the extra expense and limitations that are placed on the family. Some people have made comments on forums but im pretty sure they couldnt justify their statements in your circumstances, and im sure they didnt mean you to be upset by them/direct them at you. Each case is individual and you are most certainly deserving of help!x

I hope you work something out, absolutely no one would begrudge you being on benefit hun, even if it's just a short term solution untill Lewis is more mobile x

Kenty, the benefits system is in place to help people like you, you are entitled to this as it may make caring for lily a little easier!

What pisses me off are those people who do abuse the system and are ruining it for families like yours that need it.

You really should go to CAB and speak to a benefits advisor who will be able to offer advice. I'm sure there will help out there for you whether Sam goes to work full or part time.

Good luck... Please get some benefits advice.

You are not in the 'benefit scum' category at all hun.

I really do think you should claim carers allowance too. Although she is a toddler, she needs so much more care than your average toddler of her age. The fact that you will be housebound speaks for itself, so you really should apply for it.

x

Could you get someoneto help you get out and about e.g. a childcare student from a local college? Just someone to push the buggy so you can go to the park or something? It might be worth asking your HV or local Surestart centre if there is anything like that available. (I'm sure I read something about this in our area when I had Seb, think they would come for half a day a week, though you had to have a toddler as well to be considered.)

Ros

Kenty - How can you put yourlsef in the same band as real benefit scum?????

There is a difference between those that haven't worked a day in their life and never intend to, and those that would work if they could, or need a little financial assistance cos they have been dealt a hard hand.

Could you speak to Debbies friend and see how she managed with another LO with her daughter??

ps - you are NOT your family

xx

I have to agree with Pepper and the girls hun. You are not benefit scum Kenty and never will be. I think its a disagrace that kids with disabilities are overlooked by the govt yet lazy barstewards who can't be assed getting of their butts and getting a job get everything handed to them on a plate it makes me so mad

Kenty I don't begrudge you a penny of the benefits you get from my tax money and I am one to complain about benefits scum.

Wil can walk about a mile on a good day so with some encouragement and lots of practice it won't be long before Lewis can walk a reasonable distance so at least you can get out of the house. Have you looked into getting a back carrier for Lewis? You could wear it and then put him in for a while when he gets tired. He will be heavy but for short distances it won't be too bad.

Hun like rosp said assistance is available to parents with more than one child under 3 I think - your circumstances are exactly why the system is available - get yours and sams arse to the cab and get advice you are entitled to carers allowance. My friends son is severly autistic and she is a high frequency epileptic - hence cannot work only claims housing council tax and carers for her mum. Her mum takes him back and forth to school by car, watches him so she can do some girly stuff with her daughter - her daughter goes main stream he goes to different school. She would need to be in 2 different towns at the same time
Claim every penny and help you can whilst you need to hun - no-one has a right to comment - if you're bothered by what people think - don't tell them

Big hugs to them gorgeous children xxx