Hi ladies

Well i'm having a seriously bad week. Lost my baby on monday and now it looks like my relationship is over. My OH thinks i'm lazy, selfish and taking him for a mug. He thinks i treat him like a meal ticket cause i don't work. He's going on about how much i'm like his ex who apparently fleeced him and took his money all the time cause he bought her 3 kids clothes etc.....

I can't get a job in what i'm trained to be and i don't take money off him. I pay my own bills with my benefits. If i was to go to work part time it wouldn't be worth it cause of childcare. I have to watch what hours the jobs are cause he leaves at 6.30 in the morning and doesn;t get home till 7.30 sometimes 9 when he goes to the gym after work. I run the whole house and do everything. I look after him and Mia. How am i not contributing and lazy?
Sorry for the rant. Feeling rather sorry for myself.

Dee
x

Dee, he is a serious pain in the ass.

is he so insensitive that he is piling all this on you just 3 days after losing your baby.
You need to give his sorry ass a good kicking!

i am sorry you are having to deal with this as well as everything else xx

*big hugs*

I don't know what to say other than what an insensitive prick.

What a moron!

Is he hurting after losing the baby too? This could be his way of venting his hurt/frustration too (im not making excuses for him, as there are none).

I think that all men go through stages of saying that - my OH says it now and again and I ended up sending him a huge email on stuff I have paid for, done around the house and it turned out that he actually owed me money, if that was the game he wanted to play.

Emotions are probably running pretty high at the moment as you are going through a really painful time. Hopefully he will sort himself out.

The silent treatment usually works in our house xx

u know what i think and my opinion and its too personal to put on here. u know im about x

I'm sorry that he's being so mean Dee. I hope he comes and apologises to you xxxxxxxxxx

Oh thats awful men can be so bloody selfish sometimes, what right does he have to make you feel like that!! Tell him to get his act together! x

he sounds very insensitve, hope you manage to work it all out xx

Ah Dee - what a time of things for you. Sorry your OH is being like this - it must be more poignant at a time like this when you need his support too. Take time to heal and for your body & mind to collect itself - hope there is a clear way forward for you soon xx

What an arse! xxx

Thank you. He says if i leave Mia is to stay with him. That definately won't happen. I was out today for the first time since monday and i was watching all the other couples christmas shopping and chasing kids and i nearly cried. It took all i could not to. Already bought his presents too. I could walk away as there's been more than this going on for a while. This is just the last straw. I have really had enough. I can't deal with any more. To top it all off Mia's chioked with the cold and very grumpy too.
x

aww dee

you should show him what we ta;lk about n then he would know that you wanted to go back to work. the stupid sod! lets hope things will be okie xxx

aww im sorry hun

big hugs x

aww hun, this is the last thing you need. How do you feel about it? Do you want to stay or do you think it's the final straw? Do you have somewhere you can go? Hugs xxx

hes seen our texts and some of the stuff we talk about and then acts like a baby and still dont see what he has done wrong!! turns it round and its all her fault and how he cant see what the problem is blah blah blah.

What an insensitive ass hole.
Dee I've never met you but I know you are not lazy or sponging of off anyone! I don't know what to say I'm in shock that he would find it ok to say these things especially under your current circumstances.

It sounds like you've got alot of soul searching to do when it comes to him, I'm pretty sure you'd have alot to say if it was Laura in this position.

You deserve so much more, you deserve to be appreciated and adored, not made to feel worthless x

What ever you decide you have us to chat to if you want xx

Well i played my big gesture. I wrote him a 2 1/2 page letter and put it in his christmas card. He's away with it today. Wether he reads it or not is another thing. If there's no reply then i know he either didn't read it or doesn't care enough about me to fight for me.

x

Wow, that is one huge week.. and a bad one.
I hope you can get the support you need, find good friends to chat with.. or better maybe call your parents / other family member?

Sometimes to talk it out is the best medicine.

How are things today dee? x

Not too good still kell. The letter i wrote didn't make one iota of a difference. He even asked me why i wrote it. I've put a deadline on the relationship. If it isn't any better by end of January then we're going seperate ways. All of his responses when i got him to answer were that i'm not to leave cause he wants Mia to stay. he never once said he wants me to stay. Guess it really is over.

x

LOL..he could never get custody of Mia. How dare he threaten with this. Sorry Dee..I can't stand men who use the kids to threaten their partners. He sounds like a bully and a coward all rolled into one. You deserve soooo much better in life, and so does Mia. xxx

Aww Dee hun. Sorry you are having such a rough time of it hun, you don't deserve it.

You deserve so much better than this insensitive asshole, does he not realise you are going through the hardest thing any woman has to go through the loss of a baby yet he is coming off with all this crap. You deserve someone so much better hun for you and mia. We are always here for you hun and I know you have a great mate in laura who will always be there for you. Thinking of you xx

Thanks piglet x

"why" you'd written it?! Ah Dee, like you say - he's telling you more by what he's not saying (plus a fair bit by what he is saying!). This comes at such a hard time for you but it sounds like you are right to start thinking about your own future. Take care, plan in baby steps and like Jen says, you and Mia deserve much better xxx