I was having a chat with a friend the other day and thinking about all the 'rules' us mums are supposed to work by and how many I have broken and have come to the conclusion I must be an awful mother

- I didn't take folic acid until I found out I was pg
- I had the odd small glass of wine whilst pg
- I ate peanuts and and a little pate whilst pg
- I piled on weight in pg (4 stone for both )
- I didn't give my body enough time to recover before getting pg again (my doc said I should have waited at least 12 months)
- I only bf Thomas for 3 months and Hannah for 1 month
- I put Thomas in his own room at 3 months and Hannah will be going in tonight (not quite 3 months)
- I gave them both a bottle and a dummy before 4 weeks whilst bf (no nipple confusion here)
- I gave Thomas his first baby rice at 16 weeks
- I let Thomas try a wotsit and a teeny bit of chocolate at 6 months
- I let Thomas have some milky bar buttons at 9 months
- I let Thomas have his first try of maccys at 11 months and he has had it maybe once a month since
- I never once bought Thomas a pair of clarkes shoes and have no intention of buying Hannah any either
- I let Thomas sit in his bumbo 2 days before he was 3 months just to be a rebel (and just to follow suit I have let Hannah have a little try today )
- I gave Thomas a pillow at 10 months and a duvet at 11 months
- I switched Thomas onto cows milk at 11 1/2 months
- I don't have stair gates on and let Thomas go up and down stairs alone
- Thomas has loads of toys that are supposed to be for above his age
- I have let Thomas and Hannah watch TV from day one (neither are particularly interested tbh)

There are soooooo many official and unoficial 'rules' to parenting that it is a mine field and I could go on and on and on.

My kids are loved and cared for, they are very happy and very healthy and both learning and hitting milestones at the appropriate rate. What I have done is use my common sense and trust my own instincts and judgements. However I have found myself feeling guilty about some of the above and worrying no end about some of them. After my conversation the other day I asked myself why? I have never behaved irresponsibly with my children and never put them in any danger so I have made myself a promise, from this day on to stop feeling guilty and stop worrying. Everything I do I do with the best intentions for my kids so if i break a few silly 'rules' along the way then so be it.

Any other bad mummies out there? (any rules I have forgotten to break?)

xx

Did you have any Tea, Coffee or Coke whilst PG or BF? I had 1 mocha Frappacino in Starbucks when I was 37 weeks and I got some vile looks! (I only had 1 cup of tea and that coffee throughout!)
I give Amelia a taste of my muffins, cupcakes and choccy biscuits if I have one, and sometimes she has her own.

I'm sure there are tons I've missed out and I've done a few from your list too! xxx

LisaGandAmelia wrote:

Did you have any Tea, Coffee or Coke whilst PG or BF? I had 1 mocha Frappacino in Starbucks when I was 37 weeks and I got some vile looks! (I only had 1 cup of tea and that coffee throughout!)
I give Amelia a taste of my muffins, cupcakes and choccy biscuits if I have one, and sometimes she has her own.

I'm sure there are tons I've missed out and I've done a few from your list too! xxx

caffiene in pg? surely not!!! Lisa you rebel you!

I have never read or seen a rule book, I have just used my own judgement. I did wean at 17wks..I didn't do it sooner as it did scare me when I read it can be bad for a baby's digestive system and can cause allergies if weaned too early, but thats just me. I would have never forgive myself.

The TV is nearly always on in our house, although its not always kids TV..but he's really not that interested now..and I think thats because it is always on
We moved Oliver into his own room when he was 5mth, thats when we moved to a 2bed house.
He too had a dummy from 2wks old and defo no confusion her either. He gave his dummy up of his own accord at 9mth.

I also ate peanuts (but i'm not at high allergy risk) I had coffee and tea I ate burgers and loooooads of cheese throughout the whole of my pregnancy (even after a telling off from the MW)

Oliver does have chocolate and juice, pizza and cake. Since he's got older I am defiantly more relaxed with him..not that I was following 'rule/guidelines' before.

I am a terrible mother too then I broke all those rules apart from the alcohol one I reckon (only because I don't drink anyway). So what's the punishment then????

im a really bad mum too.

braden had an easter egg at 7 months!!
maccy's at 8 months! and tbh we have one takeaway once every two weeks and he has it too!
i switched to cows milk at 9 months
he went into his own bedroom at 2 weeks old
he has millions of 3+ toys
i laugh when he falls over lol
he sits and watches a film maybe 3 times a week!
i let him play by himself
Dita had a little kfc chicken last night!!!!
she's tried mummy chocolate cheesecake lol
she hasnt had a bottle since she was 6 months
we dont bath her everyday
she went to her own bedroom at 3 weeks old
we have a cot bumper! lol
they both have juice!

tbh the list in probably endless, but we are happy, healthy, and they both get more then enough love!
x

p.s i had a pint a couple of times when preg, and glass of wine, and 2 coffees a day!
x

I am a bad mommy too!

pretty much everything on the list Debs and probably some more besides!

Excellent - I did most of these too Debs and yes i did have cappuccino in costa a few times! I also ate runny eggs with soldiers whilst pregnant as i got a bit of a taste for them.

Adiditionally LIly sometimes has biscuits and cake and has had mcdonalds twice and on a couple of occasions had a fruit shoot. She has also been exposed to daylight without factor 5 million plastered all over her and her skin did not melt.

Oh and she went in the door bouncer, walker etc all 'under age'

LisaGandAmelia wrote:

Did you have any Tea, Coffee or Coke whilst PG or BF? I had 1 mocha Frappacino in Starbucks when I was 37 weeks and I got some vile looks! (I only had 1 cup of tea and that coffee throughout!)
I give Amelia a taste of my muffins, cupcakes and choccy biscuits if I have one, and sometimes she has her own.

I'm sure there are tons I've missed out and I've done a few from your list too! xxx

lol bless ya this made me giggle, what these people must think of me then, i couldnt function withput my morning cuppa well apart from 1st few months when i went right off it x

not even gonna start to list the 'rules' iv broken...but like the rest i use my own judgement...if babies were ment to have manuals youd get at at the hospital. As long as their loved and have their basic needs met, then with the rest do what you think and feel is right xx

You've just reminded me of something Dave said when Amelia was born. When the MW said she was going to check my placenta Dave said was she checking it for Amelia's instruction manual!

woohoo this list has made my day !!! his is something i dont feel comfortable admitting to some parents

i too am " guilty " of ALL listed above ,,, could probably throw in a few more of my own

some baby forum members ( any site on net ) will be tut tut tutting at the likes of us but i am a firm believer in throwing out the manuals and guidlines ! instinct is your best friend !!! these are our children nobody elses !

my children ( 10, 9 and 1 ) are all happy and healthy !
i tend to think about our parents and grandparents ,,many of which grew old healthy and there was none of this " DONT DO /FEED/HOLD/ LIKE THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH )
i also am a believer in if you restrict too much from your children it will backfire in later life and they will indulge in the forbidden !

x x x

LisaGandAmelia wrote:

You've just reminded me of something Dave said when Amelia was born. When the MW said she was going to check my placenta Dave said was she checking it for Amelia's instruction manual!

pmsl well i did actually write, if babies were ment to have manuals theyd come out with the placenta lol but my phone crashed so re wrote it xx

You guys, I now really need a burger (and fully intend to get one at the earliest opportunity )

I am probably the worst mother ever- but I really don't care

I smoked for 5 weeks when I was pregnant until I found out
I stopped taking folic acid at 8 weeks pregnant as it made me sick
I had 2 cups of coffee a day while pregnant and even drank coke
I had a couple of glasses of wine when pregnant
I went out for a night on the wine when Chloe was 6 weeks old and left her overnight for the first time when she was 3 months old!
I go out at least one evening a week with friends and leave her with Daddy
Me and Matt go out at least once a month and leave her with a babysitter
She had white choc at 6 months and has had a small piece of chocolate maybe once a week since she was a year
I let her eat a handful of crisps with her lunch
She has eaten McDonalds twice, she's had pizza and when we get fish and chips I get her fish cake and give her a few of my chips and mushy peas for her dinner
I go to work rather than being a SAHM

And do you know what she is healthy, extremely happy, active, she is the most unfussy eater you could ever meet and will eat absolutely anything. I can leave her with anyone safe in the knowledge she's not upset and knows mummy will always come back. I get so fed up with people saying ooh you shouldn't give her this or that, why the hell not??? I don't deny myself anything so why should I her, she is well cared for, eats a good healthy balanced diet with loads of fruit and veg, she gets to spend time with both her grandparents who love her to bits and me and Matt get time to be a couple too, which makes us better parents as we're happy. So I say to anyone who sasys any different!

I have broke nearly all them i didnt drink but i dont really anyway xx

add my own

I let callum sleep in wiv me when he wouldnt settle in his cot i dont regret it i managed to change it in the end
i dont sit down all day with callum i let him lil periods on his own to play
I let him have choccy treats sometime he also has tried mcdonalds

Basically what has been saidxx

LMFAO!

I love this post Debs!

Jeez, I would be here all bloody day if listed everything I do/dont do.

x

i must b the worst mum in the world because ive done all them too, and more besides x

See my guilt free parenting thread in group chat guys I started for a similar reason. Im a working mother who has let c try chocolate and macD and weaned her at 17 weeks :affraid

Theres more but i gotta go to work

i love the fact that everyone is so honest on here in pg, i did nothing right, i didnt know i was pg and went away for the weekend and got absolutely hammered, i had terrible sickness through pg and ate virtually no fruit or veg, lived off ice lollies and carbs, plus i never gave up my diet coke!

i think most people dont do things by the book anyway theyre just too frightened to admit it, a girl from my bouncin babes was talking how she makes all her food fresh and would never buy jars, then i saw her in tesco's cramming the trolley with about 40, i was nice though and didn't say anything !

Haha I LOVE this thread!!!!

I drink/drunk tea coffee whilst pg
Libby had a cot bumper
I started weaning at 16 weeks
We all have crappy food at least one a week
Libby has a little treat every day (usually a few jazzles, she loves them!!)
I gave Libby peanut butter at about 10 months
And lots more....

BUT I never had peanuts I'm very tempted now to go and get a Snickers from the fridge!!! Oh and whats this about cheese? Are you not supposed to have it whilst pg

Great post - yes i am a bad mummy too. I have done most of the above. I agree that it gives them confidence if they try a bit of everything (food) and are left to play on their own sometimes. We all know a kid who has been wrapped up in cotton wool and now the parents cant understand why the child is so demanding and clingy x

I broke every rule going when i was pregnant

- 3 or 4 cups of coffee a day
- peanuts at christmas (Ok I was 35 weeks by then)
- Slept on tummy in early pregnancy (could never sleep on my back)
- Smoked til i was nearly 20 weeks ( I know im really bad on that one)

After she was born I was Baby led

- She was in Bumbo before 3 months she was a strong baby
- never used the baby bath
- weaned at 14weeks (hungry baby - 8 9oz hungry baby milk)
- cows milk at 11.5 months
- had half a jar of baby food from day 1 not just the tip of teaspoon
- baby door bouncer before 4 months (HV said this was fine if not for more than 10 mins a time)
- bathed at 3 days old not 7 (i hated the look of the skank on her)

basically you name it i broke it

I think I might win the BAD MUMMY OF THE YEAR AWARD