Mine are:

Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeltons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

And

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

I love Family Guy and American Dad!! Bloody typical that I can't think of any quotes though lmao!!!

there is one when stewie goes to the prozzie... is there ne tread left in them tires or is it like throwing a sausage down the hallway... or words to that effect
another when jo is drowing.. kick jo kick and bonnie i think it was goes, hes a paraplegic and peter says.. that doesnt mean he cant hear hahaha!!

Oh mother, theres something in my diaper and its not a toaster

Omg these are so funny! I havnt watched family guy since moving back, ive gotta get back into it!

its not a quote so much but i love 'the bird is the word'!!!

i crack up everytime i see that one!

john loves family guy, but i really cant understand them and dont get the jokes at all x

its a sick quote but made me laugh so much

Louis - Peter your such a child
Peter - If im a child louis that makes you a pedophile

Its just the way it comes accross ao lighthearted and funny and i have since used that line on marc and just like in the show it shuts him up

i know it a sick one please dont shout at me x

A recent one that made me laugh was when Herbert was babysitting. They were playing taboo or something and Stuey phoned Brian to ask if Cambodian was an ok answer for 'pet' lmao!