OK we've set a date for 15 Nov 2013, giving us two years to sort everything.

Now my dad has said that he'll pay for the venue, meal etc. We've just to pay for everything else.

Now I have a problem, my mum and dad split when i was 6 years old (OMG 20 years ago) any ways part of my dads family are how'd you say, gobby, mad, will just say what they want.

But then my mums sister is the same and a very long time ago my aunt (mums sister) and my uncle (dads brother) dated around some 20-24 years ago. now he wont cause problems but she might.

she's not getting on with my mum and my mum keeps asking why i talk to her. she's my aunt and she did nothing wrong.

any ways there is a lot of tension (that i still feel between them) and i dont think i should invite my aunt. but then she'll get offended i didnt. or do i invite her and hope she decides not to come?

it's awful when you have to be careful about who you do or don't invite to things like this but if you get on with her and want her there then invite her. If she has issues with anyone else or they with her that is there own problem, it's your day.

Can you have a word with her and ask for best behaviour? x

My uncles had fell out before we got engaged, I invited the one I wanted there,

You jot going to please everyone, make a list of the people you want there and if they wasn't the day wouldn't feel right

Then go from there, if inviting someone could cause you issues, I'd say don't invite them it's your wedding day and there's enough to worry about without that extra issue

she's just one problem LOL. My family have a lot of issues with each other.

Another one is I want my youngest sister there of course (we have the same dad) and i would love her mum to come as we've stayed close since my dad left her 12 years ago. But my dad left her for his current wife.

Thats another example (both the above ladies are well behaved but i want everyone to enjoy the day)

I'm probably over thinking it all but we've so many people not liking each other one is bound to go off on one. And it will just ruin everything.

and for some unknown reason my mums partner (i dont really call him step dad) hates my dad. he dont know my dad so god knows why he does.

argh.

i think we should just run off and get married lol

It'll have to be sorted by your priority hun. My dad and one of his sisters would happily kill each other and as much as I'd like them to both be there, I need my dad there more.
I'd rather her feel crap (she did horrible things to our family) and have my dad there than either not have my dad there or have a massive riot on my hands and my wedding day ruined!

I hope you figure it out hun xxx

go do it on a beach somewhere, thats what I wanted. Actually I wanted alton towers but I was pg so a bit pointless lol

You need to tell them all that they need to a) behave and respect that its your special day or b) dont come.

It sounds harsh, but there is no way that people should bring their own issues to your wedding. Its not appropriate! I am sure they will realise this. If not, have them removed. x

When we got married there was a couple of people who didn't like each other but it was OUR wedding day and OUR family, we even told them that it was OUR day and to please put aside any petty squabbles just for one day. I said if any of yous DARE ruin or try to ruin my day you will be escorted off by security... The day was fantastic, everyone had a good time, enemies avoided each other or made polite small talk so it was all good. We only had a tiny wedding, no more than 20 - 25 odd people and it was fab.

It is your day hun, invite whom YOU want and if they can't promise to put aside petty squabbles for just 1 day out of their lives then they should not come xxxxx

Id invite who YOU want. Pre warn people that their enemies are coming but explain that you want no drama and can they just shut their gobs for one day. Seating plans may be a nightmare but id not exclude people just so someone else doesnt get upset iykwim.
Iv been to a wedding where there wasnt a top table as such or speeches to avoid family conflict, people barely mentioned that fact. There was just 3 long tables running along the room so you could keep people far away from eachother and mix friends/family up without it looking obvious!
Another wedding I was at recently only had speeches from best man and groom so as the father of the bride couldnt spoil it by saying something inappropriate about his ex wife or take credit for things he didnt do.

Does your aunt see your mum on other occassions eg christenings of other people's kids/xmas etc? Maybe in 2 years some of the tensions you are worrying about will have lessened. I would worry about all the logistics for another year or so anyway!

they've not seen each other in 6 years

Erm ok, maybe that one wont blow over then lol!

If you want your aunt there invite her, but explain to her and your mum that they are to ignore eachother for your sanity. Maybe they hate eachother that much that they wont even bother to give eachother the time of day! Hopefully....

I agree with Laure, tell em they can come on the condition that they behave and if they can't promise that then they're not to come at all. Surely they can behave like adults for one day for your sake?

If you want them there i would explain too both that eachother will be coming adnd if they dont like it then not too bother coming. Its your day xx