soooooo following on from debs' post and a few comments in the banda night out post it got me thinking.

what are your opinions on letting your little one stay the night at someone elses house? or having babysitters in general? what was the youngest you felt alright about having your little one go out with someone else or stay the night???

personally, i know i'm not ready to let elijah stay out, only oh, my mum and my dad have had him and that's been for literally 3 hours at a time then i start to feel sick and want him home although i do believe that it is really good for children to know and trust different people...am i being selfish?

or does it just depend on the mummy? do you even feel pressured to let people babysit? (i know i do!) or do you wish people would offer more?

opinions please

ava never has stayed out and i don't want her to, whenever we've been out me or OH has been the babysitter, now she's older we're going to start going out more together but my mum and dad will come here to look after her.

Arwyn went away overnight to my mum on my birthday so me and OH could go out, then she went to OH's parents the night after

I'd only let her to the grandparents just now, noone else is allowed until she's older. It doesn't bother me cos I trust them. now I'm back at work I need them to take her and sometimes it's easier for her to stay the night before rather than faff about in the morning!

We have only ever left Libby for a couple of hours with a friend - but she came to our house and as I said it was only for a couple of hours and that was only once (a few months ago). I've always felt pressured by family - especially my parents to let them have her but 1. we've never needed to and 2. I just dont trust anyone to take good enough care of her

We've got the same friend on standby and another who I've known for 18 years and Libby adores for 'when' Dexter comes but TBH I am absolutely petrified about it.

I have been concerned that we would make Libby too dependant on us and shy but she is the opposite - if we go round friends houses she will go off and play without looking back and is certainly not shy.

xx

i would imagine the first time is a bit weird - especially for you susan as things will be so hectic it will be a lot to take in at once! maybe he will be a good boy and come at a civilised time of day.

im not sure why i dislike the idea so much (except hes my baby mine mine mine) and it seems the more the inlaws harrass/nag us about it the less inclined i feel

I don't know when I will let her stay over anywhere other than my mums ... errrrm NEVER!?

MIL once stayed here when we went out and I was furious cos her frikin boyfriend caem, I had not invited him! Then he stole a pizza which I was gunna eat!

I mentioned in the 'night out' post that i've never left him over night before (even with OH) Its not that I judge people for doing it with their LO's, far from it - I admire them and am a tad jealous In all honesty I would find it hard.
O has only ever been left for a matter of hours with OH or more recently with my mum. Had we started at a young age it probably wouldn't be as bad, but dur to BF'ing and the fact he wouldn't take a bottle..it just never happened and now he's got to that age where if somethings 'not right' I worry that he'd get upset and unconsolable I trust OH to do it, I have gone out with gal pals in the past and he can do his bed time routine to a tee. But the point I was getting at on the night out post was I have never left him over night before and to suddenly do it and then leave the county with no way of returning if something happened scares the life out of me

I trust my mum completely with him and when the time comes I'd prefer if he spent his first night away at her's. The in laws I trust too, maybe not for the night away though, but i'd trust them to come to our house and babysit

My mum and my inlaws work alot of hours so they have never really had the opportunity to take him of my hands for a break (for me and him ) not that I would refuse..but I would still worry. Its all part and parcel of being a parent.

Also to echo what Susan said..the fact that Oliver is with us 99.99999% of the time..he is in no way shy, take him to a play group and I don't get a second glance

Alfie first stayed out when he was 4 weeks old. Alot was happening at the time and it was mainly becuase my MIL died and me and gav had to spend alot of time at the hospital.

But -since then he has stayed out every Saturday (unless he is poorly) since. He goes to either my mams or my auntys. We are extremely close as a family and i would 100% trust both of them with my life. Alfie loves going to either house and has a mint time while hes there and half the time doesnt even realise im not there. My cousin watched him on a Monday when im at work so it gives her a chance to spend alot of time with him.

My family absolutely adore alfie and all see him every day without fail. At least I know that if there is ever an emergancy I wouldnt have to worry abouty him settling with someone else. Also, we use the time that alfie sleeps out to have a bit "us" time - either a visit to the pub,spending time with friends, even just a dvd and take away.

I think it is totally down to the individual parent tho and if i didnt feel 100% comfortable with him being with my family I wouldnt do it. I know him and the fmaily all benefit from it tho and i would also DEFINATELY do it next time!

x

We had our first night away from Chloe when she was 4 months old, as we had a concert rescheduled from when I was pregnant otherwise I wouldn't have left her so young, but I'm glad I did, I was panicking like mad for the first couple of hours, but once we were there I relaxed and actually really enjoyed myself

The first time is the worst. She's at the age now where she loves sleeping at both of her nannies houses and understands that we'll be back in the morning to pick her up.

I don't feel guilty anymore because it gives me and Matt time together as a couple which is really important and we get to have a lie in the next morning.

I have my niece who is 17 babysit from time to time and she's great with her and Chloe loves her.

Well My two go to my parents about every other month for 3-4 nights at a time and although I had a mini spaz attack over it this morning I am 100% grateful to my parents and I know the kids and them have a whale of a time.

It's unfortunate that we live so far away and my parents adore the kids, if they lived closer they would probably be round every day to see them and like Amy I think they would probably stay with them 1 night a week every week.

Thomas was 6 weeks when we left him (1 night) with my parents and Hannah was 3 months (2 nights). I'm glad we started it young because although you would think it would get easier - it doesn't!! it gets worse

Anyway I dropped them off this afternoon and the little monsters didn't even bat an eyelid - they were so excited to be going with nanna and grandad. I rang up at tea time to speak to them and neither would come to the phone - they were too busy having fun to speak to mummy so that has made me feel a lot better.

However - I would not leave my children with ANYONE else over night - ever!!! It's my parents or nobody. We have had OHs daughter babysit for us couple of hours here and there and she is brilliant with them - they love their big sister but other than that nobody has them.

It's up to you and your partner and everybodies situation is different. Like Amy we have a very close family and if we lived closer I'm sure I would let my aunty/nanna/cousin babysit too but it's just unfortunate that we live so far away. Also the distance makes it unrealistic for them to just stay one night so they stay a few every other month. I have always, since I was only weeks old, stayed over with my grandparents (mum's side) and I have a great bond with them and many many very happy memories of these times as I was growing up and I want my children to have the same. We havent got a lot of money so cant afford to take the kids away places so next best thing is mini holidays with nanna and grandad in the lakes

xx

Taylas only ever stayed onces overnight at my mums on my bday last year...but then we put her to bed and we lived next door
We are living with my mum at tho mo but when we move out she will defo be going to stay with my mum every few weekends for a night i cant wait (i do love her just cant wait for a night toddler free )
I have no one to babysit other than my mum but as we live here anyway its not like she actually babysits if you know what i mean, if we go out Tay is usually in bed before we leave anyway!
Can i just ask, with toddlers where do they sleep with they stay out? Cot, toddler bed, fold up bed, in the person having thems bed?

Lisa I do love your stories about your MIL shes flippin mental lol xx


My mum has Harry a lot, while I'm at work on a weekend, and sometimes over night on a friday. He first stayed over with her when he was 8 weeks old xx

Terri wrote:

Can i just ask, with toddlers where do they sleep with they stay out? Cot, toddler bed, fold up bed, in the person having thems bed?

Thomas has a ready bed at my mums and he sleeps great in it. This one: http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/6340829/Trail/searchtext%3EREADYBED.htm

If he is there without us though (and my mam hasn't kicked my dad out for snoring) he generally sleeps is the spare double bed. Thomas loves bedtime - he will sleep anywhere

xx

I want a ready bed for harry but think hes too young for one even though I reckon he'd love it!xx

oooh i want one of those for me!

Zee, I think we have very similar views/feelings on the matter.

Reading what everyone else does though does make me slightly jealous and if I'm honest guilty for my parents (I couldn't care less about my in-laws!). However, I know I just would never be able to bring myself to leave her with anyone or even let anyone sit here at home while she sleeps (of course 'when' Dexter comes there isn't really any choice).

I do wish I would change but it would mean changing Simon too and he's VERY stubborn

xxx

I don't have a problem with the boys staying out at all.
Charlie has stayed with my sister a couple of times, he sleeps in his travel cot at the moment but i really like the ready bed Deb's has!
He has also stayed with a very good neightbour friend of ours while we have been out.
My mum and oh's mum have both babysat here. Now mum has a flat i'm sure Charlie will be staying with her.

We are going on holiday for two weeks and his care will be split between all the above mentioned people. I trust each and everyone 100% and i also trust my aunts/cousin/etc.

I have never been a worrier when it comes to this sort of thing but i do understand other people's concerns.

both mine were 15 months the first time they stayed out, simply because i didnt feel ready till then! leo now sleeps out probibly twice a month, usually at mils but has also stayed at my dads once and my mum's a few times!
oliver has stayed out 3 times alltogether, and i still dread it when he stayed out, im going to an appt with my friend 2mo and leaving him with mil, i know ill be missing him then too x

ok rich has his own bedroom at grandads, althoguh now he shares it with the neices, but its his room,

he first stayed with my mom and dad at a week old, i was sleeping in the next room but my mom insisted for the night he slept with them,

i moved out when he was 6 weeks and a few weeks later my dad had him while me and my mom went out to get drunk, they had him fairly often till he was 5 months and my mom died, then when he was about 7 months, my dad had him every saturday night, my dads idea and he needed him,
he had him every week till he was 7yrs old.. i used to stop for tea saturday night tea, go home sleep and then be back in the morning for my lunch.

but when russ came along i stopped going for tea and we use to go out on dates.

since he was 7yrs old he went fortnightly and now he goes a couple of times a month, but he goes from 12 on saturdays till 12 on sundays, including going with grandad and his great uncle to the pub on satuday afternoon, its an old mans pub, they watch the scores come in and they both love that he old enough now to do this.

with the new bubs, i'm not sure about leaving them, but not because i dont trust my dad, crikey i trust him completley, but its rich's time with grandad, it maybe a while before we do let bubs stay over, because of rich.

he is also going away with my brother (hopefully aslong as they dont cancel again) in half term for a coupleof days, now thats worrying lol

Callum has stayed out once when he was 11months old with my mum and it was hell for my poor mum it was going all ok and smoothly untill 12am when he screamed the whole time untill i picked him up at 7am to say she hasent offered again

Now ive never been away frm callum bt luckily when he wakes he doesnt come out his cot now so hopefully oh will be able to sort him if he wakes up without him knowing x
It would be nice to know oh can sort him xx

I feel a bit ashamed to say I have no problem leaving Imogen. It's not that i don't love her, it's just I know she's going to be safe and happy so I don't feel the need to worry. I miss her sure but I also really enjoy a bit of time to myself.
Imogen was about 5months when we first left her overnight with my mum and since then she's stayed with my mum or sis probs under 10 times. I've left her with Matt quite a few times but I don't count that as he's her parent too. I haven't left her with the in laws overnight and I think it might be a while before I do, but this is because they're quite insecure about looking after her. I can imagine it would become a ridiculous drama with us having to pick her up at 4am just cause she talked in her sleep I'm happy to leave her with my mum or sis cause I know they'd just deal with her and not overfuss.
When she stays away she's still in her travel cot and she still fits easily in it. I'll probs get one of those ready beds for the future when she stays away tho.

Sean was about 3 weeks old when I first left him with my mum and dad, but I was living with my mum and dad at that point.
They have him fortnightly overnight, and he absolutely loves it! my bro and SIL also have him quite a bit, especially now their daughter is a bit older and realizes how much she loves her cousin! lol
Kara was 6 weeks old but that was more because I'd got food poisoning and Rob couldn't get time off work, not by choice lol.
Kara is going to stay at my mums next week while we go to peppa pig world, but I really don't have an issue with her staying at my mums cos I know my mum will look after her and if anything was wrong she'd call me.
I think as long as you trust the person you are leaving them with implicity then there isn't really an issue, just when you feel comfortable leaving them. Not wanting to sound horrible but I love when Sean goes to my mums or SIL's, he loves it and I miss him about 10 minutes after he leaves so when he comes back I get lots of cuddles and kisses
xxx

I lived at home with my parents for the 1st 2 years of Jacks life so they have always been an important part of his life. As soon as I moved out they regularly had Jack at the weekends and as a result he is very close to his nanny and grandad. He has been going on holiday with them for a week once a year since he was 5 (he will be 11 this year).Some years he has come back from a weeks holiday with them and then not wanted to come home so has stayed another week at their house lol. Ive never had a problem with leaving Jack , and infact have rather enoyed the 'me' time (from when he was 3-7 I was single parent)

no my boys are older they stay out but as for D she never stays anywhere unless we are there too
only grandparents have baby sat for her really
in a fortnight i will be leaving her over night for the first time eeeeek ! albeit she will be with daddy but im bricking it ! x

I have no problem at all with Wil staying out or going away and leaving Wil at home. We are independent people and sometimes we need to do things that mean we are away from each other.

Wil has a childminder 50 hours a week during the day so he has his own life away from me. I would be totally comfortable leaving him with his childminder overnight or having one of her grown up kids look after him.

Wil first stayed away from home when he was 9 months and I had to go into hospital. My parents had him for 5 nights and he had a ball. (I was less impressed when 2 weeks later he came out in chicken pox caught from my niece ). He stayed with them again last month and loved it but I was less than happy because he had a stomach bug (first time ever) and his poor bum was covered in horrendous nappy rash because they didn't put cream on despite me asking them to. He will stay with them again in the future but not until he is potty trained.