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Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Guilt free parenting Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:45 am | |
| I read something earlier that galvanised me to start this thread. Everywhere i look parenthood seems to be becoming an exercise in snobbery, competitiveness and guilt. Shes a better mum than me, im a terrible parent because i do x or don't do y and it drives me nuts.
Heres why some might think im a terrible parent -Caelyn has a dummy -I only breastfed/expressed for 6 weeks -I let C drink juice, eat chocolate/crisps and have burgers sometimes -At times i put CBeebies on just to give myself 5 minutes peace -I weaned her at 4 months -I am a working mum
Why I think Im actually quite a good parent -I homecook for C as often as i can -She is always clean, warm and dry -I tell her every single chance i get how much i love her -I kiss and hug her all the time -I read to her at least 3 times a week -I read Thats Not My Car over and over again with only minimal moaning -I dont mind grazing my knees to romp around on the floor playing Bite yer bum -My little girl thinks im the best mummy in the world
I could add a lot more to both lists but i think you get the point. So this group is for all those parents who are fed up of parenthood feeling like playing jumprope in a mine field. No matter what you do people will always make you feel like you could do more - i bet even those who did manage to breastfeed (and fair play to em) feel bad about something else. So come join my revolution for parents who are simply doing the best they can with what they have. Let our slogan be - I AM A GOOD PARENT! and to those who naysay we will say MY KID, MY RULES!
So join me in guilt free parenting. Throw away all those books - if you care enough to read em you don't need em. Close your ears to the 'new research'. Learn to hold one hand up to those who doubt you and ask them to talk to the palm.
Cmon!!! |
| | | DonnaAdmin
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Wakefield Posts : 3100
About Me! My Name: Donna Status: Mummy Number of Children: 0
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:47 am | |
| Here here mario couldnt agree more |
| | | LisaAdmin
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-15 Location : Shropshire Posts : 8964
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:49 am | |
| Yay I'll join!
I can not stand mums who claim to be the best mums in the world and look down their noses at others who either work, or something else they don't agree with! I have heard the comment 'why do people have kids if they aren't going to play with them every minute of the day' - hmm me thinks the ones that say this are actually not what they claim to be! |
| | | jenshayne
Age : 54 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Canuckville Posts : 3290
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:00 am | |
| Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! You are a "real" mom and anyone that makes you feel like you aren't can lick ass! IDC what anyone says...all moms do exactly that..and more...and agree with what Lisa says too! Those moms that claim to be perfect are probably worse than any of us! Remember..those that need to rub your nose in what type of parenting skills you present ..usually have a cemetary in their closet! Good on you for being a real mommy!! |
| | | GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:08 am | |
| i bought a book!! first time in my 10 years of being a parent... i bought a book!!!! its been ok i guess but not my kinda thing. and so far its still not working!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gonna stick to my own parenting im a tough love mummy a lot of the time and some ppl dont like this |
| | | Zee
Age : 43 Join date : 2010-08-18 Location : UK Posts : 2968
About Me! My Name: Zee Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:25 am | |
| This is brilliant Mario. I do cook all my own meals, but don't get me wrong, when I cba, he does get things from the packet too. He too has juice and chocolate etc. In some respects I am quite a laid back mummy, but in others I am firm/strict. I did BF for 8mth and for that I am proud, only wish I could have continued longer. I would never judge someone for formula feeding and would never judge those who go back to work. I considder myself very lucky to ba able to stay at home with the little guy, but then I do think 'am I depriving him in other ways?!' due to the lack of money we have. We literally live on the breadline, so no fancy days out or holidays and I do feel rather poo for that My other guilty confession is that I smoke Not a lot and I did give up whilst pg but started weeks after having him..but I have never forgiven myself for failing. I don't do it round my LO, but again feel uber shitty for just doing it But at the end of the day, I have a happy, healthy little man that just amazes me every single day. And for that I feel like the luckiest mummy in the world. x |
| | | GraceBean&Pip
Join date : 2010-08-20 Location : Posts : 1566
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:20 am | |
| It's the all-singing all-dancing type parents who leave me feeling miffed - I don't get how they function as a person if they are 24/7 doing every possible 'right' thing in the book re: food, changing, toys, activities, outings, games, skills, general care etc. of their children Aside form the slight miffed-ness though, I tend / try to ignore it. I know I can always do better, at everything in life, and the built-in guilt that comes with being a parent is sizeable enough that I don't feel the need to add to it I am so amazed by my baby boy every day and feel so blessed - and don't even get me started on the mind-bending fact that we are growing another one!!! |
| | | Lisa & Alfie
Age : 34 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : West Yorkshire Posts : 625
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:33 pm | |
| Oh these people must think i'm a terrible mum too. Single, on benefits, i only breastfed for 6 weeks, weaned at 16 weeks, it's not always home cooked food, i give him a chip to suck on if we're at a pub so he's quiet while we eat, i go out on a weekend sometimes.
But you know what? He's the happiest baby in the world and a healthy one at that so balls to them all! |
| | | gemz
Age : 104 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : doncaster Posts : 3520
About Me! My Name: gemma Status: Daddy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:37 pm | |
| pfft...no one is perfect, i really pitty these people who like to think they are if i go out fo dinner say to a pub, i will give oliver a plate with some of my food on...usually a lot of peas as he looooves peas,a couple of chips and whatever else...yeah he also has a taste of my ice cream afterwards...i honestly dont think it will damage his health for the rest of his life....no i dont always cook fresh, he sometimes has a jar...i do try,but i work on an eavening so he usually gets fresh from wherever he isa that night anyway.i did manage to bf and still am, but i would never look down on people who chose not to or cant...i didnt manage to exclusivley bf oliver he had 1 formula a day till 6 weeks ol which i felt bad for as i couldnt understand why i could do it with one and not the other...but i dont feel bad now but both my kids have alkl their basic needs met plus more....they are are loved more than anyone(i know we will all say that lol) and i tell them so everyday, i try to be the best parent i can and teach them right from wrong, respect and everthing else that will help mould them in to well rounded young men but im certainly far from perfect i could go on and on about things im good t and not so good at...and if people are honest im sure we all could xx |
| | | shootingstars
Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : West-Mids Posts : 96
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:42 am | |
| I couldnt agree more, im here too, I only breast feed for 24hours, as bubs was a pig and i couldnt keep up, then she decided she didnt want to latch on, she eats mainly my cooking or Oh's but sometimes as jars, There are a few things i frown upon, but thats not because i look down my nose at other, its more of a what if situation, For eg:- lack of seatbelts when there is one there to be used, Other than that, its everyone as their own way of doing things, everyone is different, if our children are happy carry on x |
| | | gemz
Age : 104 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : doncaster Posts : 3520
About Me! My Name: gemma Status: Daddy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:05 am | |
| - shootingstars wrote:
- I couldnt agree more, im here too, I only breast feed for 24hours, as bubs was a pig and i couldnt keep up, then she decided she didnt want to latch on, she eats mainly my cooking or Oh's but sometimes as jars,
There are a few things i frown upon, but thats not because i look down my nose at other, its more of a what if situation, For eg:- lack of seatbelts when there is one there to be used, Other than that, its everyone as their own way of doing things, everyone is different, if our children are happy carry on x thing is you dont have to be perfect to know that its bloody stupid and dangerous not to strap you kids in that just common sense, their is no reason not to if their is a seatbelt i think that is just niglectfull(sorry mini rant their, saw a car earlier with like 10 kids jumping all over the back seats...what if they crashed??? xx) |
| | | pinkyd
Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : durham Posts : 3931
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:23 am | |
| i'd love to join, i'm a go with the flow person, i don't do things by the book infact i don't even read what i should be doing. as long as ava's happy i'm happy too. x |
| | | GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:34 am | |
| Cool Group Guess you all knew I would be here since I don't give a shit what people think...see my disclaimer Reasons I am a 'bad' mum... Wil.. was bottle fed (didn't like the boobies and they didn't work anyway) has a dummy (until Father Christmas swaps it for a scooter in exactly 4 months' time) eats crap and drinks juice just like me is permanently covered in dirt and dog hair spends 4/5 days per week with a childminder because I work and sometimes he goes so I have me time rides in the trolley at the supermarket because it makes it more fun calls me 'mum' not 'mummy' cos 'mummy' doesn't suit me is allowed to get angry and frustrated while he solves his own problems Reasons I am a 'good' mum... Wil is allowed to be himself and it shows - Quote :
- "happy, happy, happy"
To all those self righteous mummies out there...is your kid perfect? Thought not |
| | | GraceBean&Pip
Join date : 2010-08-20 Location : Posts : 1566
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:02 pm | |
| - GillandWil wrote:
- (until Father Christmas swaps it for a scooter in exactly 4 months' time)
pmsl - Loving it Gill |
| | | Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:51 am | |
| Yup Father Christmas is trading Caelyn a guitar for hers.
Forgot to mention C is permenantly grubby and covered in cat hair. Even if i try and keep her clean she attracts muck - Gill has witnessed the meal of bark chippings she consumed in Birmingham. Another strike for me lol. But will balance it up by saying shes very affectionate and thats cos i am with her |
| | | GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Thu Aug 26, 2010 5:43 am | |
| Hey don't knock the bark chipping Wil assures me they were good!
|
| | | Kinkyangel
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Leicester Posts : 1331
About Me! My Name: Clare Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Thu Aug 26, 2010 5:53 am | |
| Can I join too!! My boys are happy with the way I do things and that's more important than when they were weaned etc!! Although that said 10 and 7 years ago the doctors advice was to wean at 4 months!!
Xx |
| | | VickieAndSophie
Age : 45 Join date : 2010-08-30 Location : County Durham Posts : 268
| Subject: Re: Guilt free parenting Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:26 am | |
| - marioandthestuntbubs wrote:
- I read something earlier that galvanised me to start this thread. Everywhere i look parenthood seems to be becoming an exercise in snobbery, competitiveness and guilt. Shes a better mum than me, im a terrible parent because i do x or don't do y and it drives me nuts.
Heres why some might think im a terrible parent -Caelyn has a dummy -I only breastfed/expressed for 6 weeks -I let C drink juice, eat chocolate/crisps and have burgers sometimes -At times i put CBeebies on just to give myself 5 minutes peace -I weaned her at 4 months -I am a working mum
Why I think Im actually quite a good parent -I homecook for C as often as i can -She is always clean, warm and dry -I tell her every single chance i get how much i love her -I kiss and hug her all the time -I read to her at least 3 times a week -I read Thats Not My Car over and over again with only minimal moaning -I dont mind grazing my knees to romp around on the floor playing Bite yer bum -My little girl thinks im the best mummy in the world
I could add a lot more to both lists but i think you get the point. So this group is for all those parents who are fed up of parenthood feeling like playing jumprope in a mine field. No matter what you do people will always make you feel like you could do more - i bet even those who did manage to breastfeed (and fair play to em) feel bad about something else. So come join my revolution for parents who are simply doing the best they can with what they have. Let our slogan be - I AM A GOOD PARENT! and to those who naysay we will say MY KID, MY RULES!
So join me in guilt free parenting. Throw away all those books - if you care enough to read em you don't need em. Close your ears to the 'new research'. Learn to hold one hand up to those who doubt you and ask them to talk to the palm.
Cmon!!! Here, Here all of the above XxXxx |
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