saw this morning on bbc news that breastfeeding is suppose to have an effect on childrens's behavour.

now i not saying bf is bad, i wouldnt i want to do it because i know its good for bubs and mommys.

but i'm getting really fed up with the pressure to bf, i couldnt with
rich and i'm thinking it would be easier for me as a family to bottle
feed to be honest, but i'm going to give it a try.

but its all i've had bf bfbfbfbfbfbf, it starts getting annoying and if
people keep pushing things on me i do tend to go the other way.
all the research is annoying, i know its what the government want and
that they will push the bf, but surely this is taking it too far.

this morning on the news there was a mom saying that she bonded with her
baby because she bf, i'm sorry but if you cant bond with your baby
without feeding them, then you have issues, for crying out loud, its not
all about the bf its also about quality time without bfing and so on

sorry but this slightly annoyed me this morning and i not saying
anything negative about bf, i'm on about the pressure to bf and that
sometimes it would be nice not to have so much pressure

so do you think there is a lot of pressure to bf, (DONT want to talk
about the positives and negatives of bf, just want to know what you
think abotu the pressure)

Yes I think there is quite a bit of pressure to bf. I have to say I was very lucky and never felt any pressure but I think that may be because I said I wanted to bf. I had a lot of support from Dave, in fact he was the one encouraging me from the moment we started to discuss how to raise our child. It was his support and encouragement that got me through the early days and once my milk come in we had no further problems at all. I was lucky.

I think saying you have a better bond with you child because you bf is utter bollox! How the hell can that be measured?!?! If all you've known is bf or bottle how can you say your bonding experience would have been different? I don't work on subjective nonsense but cold hard facts. There are a lot of facts that we should all be made aware of and a small amount of pressure and a ton of encouragment applied if bf truely is the best for mother and child x

Wen I was ante-natal classes there was. But u should only bf if u want to bf its down to the individual at the end of the day. I tried and loved it an surprised myself an done it for 6 months. Do wat u need to char

YES so much pressure here... it nearly caused me to have PND I think... they do things very differently here in Cyprus and when you have the baby it basically belongs to the hospital until you leave 3 or 4 days later. the only way you can feed your baby yourself is if you bf... if you don't or cant' bf the nurses bottle feed the baby.

aarrghh it makes me so angry to think about it I sat there in tears because I couldn't bf and so had to sit there watching my baby with someone else

aww jade thats terrible, i didnt know that,

thts way too much pressure for any person to cope with let alone a person just going through labour etc.

hopefully next time it will be better for you xx

What's surprising is there's all this pressure yet our bf rates are amongst the lowest in the western world. I have to say there's a part of me that can't understand not trying it but when it comes down to it I think its entirely up to you how you feed your baby

Claire it was horrible and I wil NOT let it happen this time... I think I was too timid and just went along with what they said... now with more knowledge (thanks to Banda!) I will not be standing for the same rubbish again!

liberty I wonder how bf is tackled in other countries?
I don't understand why people are completely against bf... like people who know straight off that they are going to bottle feed without at least trying. But maybe it's because its hard and embaressing if your not used to seeing or talking about bf.

I've wondered that. Certainly its not working the way they do it in this country. It has to be said I have noticed since bf that you don't notice many people bf here. Generally people are bottle feeding. I know i'm lucky because I came from a family where it was just what you did and other than the fact he tends to feed frequently I haven't really had any problems.

i didn't feel any pressure but I always wanted to bf so Im not sure what response i would have got if I'd said I was bottle feeding instead. It is totally wrong though even though I'm an advocate of bfing I think being a happy mummy is the most important thing.

i felt immense pressure - even though i planned to bf from the start i still got lecture after lecture from the mws - i kept saying i know!!! i am going to try!!! but they went on and on and posted out leaflets wtf?

i do think it's unfair, and i also (besides the point) feel the support when you are bf is absolutely awful so that is probably where they need the resources! (probably the same with bottle feeding i doubt there is much support there either)

i think it was horrible, and must be so much worse if you don't want to/can't bf. i also agree that if you do end up bottle feeding through choice or not, it's about spending quality time with your baby - i think people assume if you are bottle feeding you just stick a bottle in the babies mouth and watch jeremy kyle but i'm sure it isn't like that!

The pressure ruined my first few days with two of my babies!!! I failed with the first and beat myself up so much. Then with the second, I bottle fed and I really enjoyed those first few weeks and loved feeding my precious boy (with a bottle). Then with Ellie I thought Im gonna BF - Yes I can do it - I wont give up!!! Anyway it was a disaster, I hated it and dreaded every bloody feed!! I cried, I ranted, I raved, I sulked, I pumped OMG those days were a bloody nightmare. After 8 days I put her bottle and finally began to enjoy my baby!!

OOOH I feel sooo strongly about the pressure of BF!!!!!!!!!!!

This is why I loved my MW, when I said I wanted to try to BF, she said thats great but don't but an expectation on yourself, if you can't do it past the first feed at least you've given your baby a good start. As long as you're happy, baby will be happy!! I hate how much pressure they put on mums to BF, it can make you miserable in the first few months! xx

Mine was more pressure from the media. As soon as my mw realised I was struggling she told me to stop as in her opinion the bottle was a good as the breast!

to be honest I never got the support I needed. In hospital when I was struggling they said oh top her up with a bottle!!!!!!!!!! At the time I wanted them to help me BF!! I really did want to succeed!

it was like that here to babymilly they just topped Tyler up with a bottle and didn't help me at all to BF just expected me to do it... using my magic crystal ball clearly!

I agree that BF is not the only way to bond with a baby, jeez if that was the case there would have been report to show all misaligned kids were not breast fed!

I have read some absolute crud from people who push BF, from saying that every mother can BF which is rubbish, to the 'fact' that bottle feeding costs the NHS a lot of money ... errrmmm whatever!

Basically some people will say ANYTHING to try and push what they believe and I think its wrong - fine people should be aware of the facts but pushing it is wrong...just like Jehovah Witness...I don't care what religion you follow just don't come knocking on my door to 'convert me' as I'm more than capable of deciding what is best for me and my baby myself!

I honestly do not think I could have bonded with Izzy in any different way, she had her bottle cuddled up to me looking into my eyes exactly the same as BF babies, she loves me and I love her and we have never had any bonding issues so using that to pressure mums is just mean!

I've never understood the bonded argument. I think its the same when the baby is born. I felt guilty because I didn't fall straight in love with him whereas looking back I can see i'd had a 30 hour labour so was exhausted and shaky from the c-section drugs.

Can't understand the concept of topping up with a bottle as help as that will just affect your milk supply and make it even harder. We had a bf class as part of our nct classes and she spent two hours telling us the baby would find its own way to the breast which wasn't that helpful. I was lucky enough that Jamie did just latch on but also the midwife who helped deliver him showed me how to get him into position

There was a women in my antenatal class whose milk never came in so its obvious that not all women can physically do it without taking into account other. considerations

I decided I wanted to do it so didnt really notice the pressure from family or midwifes when I was pg. It was just something I wanted to try.

I did however feel the push once Caitlin was born. 2nd night in hospital she screamed the whole night and I asked for a bottle. I was in tears at MW station and they refused to give me one. All the other mums who were bottle feeding from the start were being handed 4 mini btls and I was told no. Another mum took me to the side and told me to do what I wanted when I left hospital and not to get myself in a state about it. The MWs just kept saying id be fine in a day or 2 and regret it....

Caitlin had the milk allergy which I didnt know about and was very hard work the first 6 weeks, crying most of the time and not sleeping. I really wanted to quit BF but my mum is VERY pro BF and guilted me into continuing. In her head she was supporting me but I wish I had listened to my instincts sooner. Yes Caitlin did take a horrible reaction to a btl at 8 weeks but at least then her allergy was diagnosed and I switched to special formula and got a whole new baby. I honestly too believe I was close to PND when BF. I felt a failure who's child was never content and no one would listen to me. Every symptom or concern I had was explained away with a pro about BF.

This time I will try to do it exclusively for 1st 2 weeks but want to try mixed feeding asap. Id want an allergy diagnosed quickly and not go through that again. Also with a toddler to look after I dont want to be spending every other hr feeding and ignore Caitlin. Bottles arent poisonous like some people seem to believe. Second time round I feel better able to stand up for myself - and my children!

People pick and chose advice they want. I have a friend who is very pro BF (she had such an easy time with her son I think its clouded her). She finds it disgusting people who dont try BF, thinks its horrible pushing a plastic teat in a 1 day old babys mouth and finds it upsetting and unnatural. She however spoon fed from 11 weeks... so when is the magic age you can put a plastic spoon in their mouth or give rice? Im not saying early weaning is wrong btw, I just mean why be so repulsed by a btl when all babys will move on to dummys, teethers, other foods being in their mouth anyway?

Ignore the pressure and do what feels right for you!

Snoopy I feel the same as you this time round... more empowered, more knowledgeable and more confident that I can stand up for myself!

Stupid doctors mw's hv and family members they should all just pee right off lol.

I think that the pressure can be there if you show the slightest bit of confusion over bf'ding.

I had two very different experiences.

With Aimee, I bf her first feed, then after that she got ill and it wasnt an option until she was 3 weeks old. By then, my milk had dried up, but because I was in such an emotional mess, I ended up having the intensive care receptionist (!) and nurses trying to get her to latch onto me and bf (even though I had no milk!). I ended up so distressed that James put his foot down with them and told them 'no more'. In the end a nutritionist got involved and Aimee was put on special milk, which is what should have happened all along as she was like a skeleton.

With Lily, from the start, I made it crystal clear that I was going to try, but bullying me was pointless as I wasnt interested in hearing it after what had happened to me before. As far as I was concerned, getting Lily here safely was my priority and I would worry about bf when the time came.

I did try and did it for the first 24 hours, but by the end of that, my nipples were so sore, and she had wanted to latch on all night. I simply didnt feel that I could do that all night as well as look after a toddler all day (without having a breakdown), so I demanded a bottle and they knew I meant business, so didnt argue.

x

i want to try, its that simple for me i want to try, but if it works it will be for a short time, i bottle fed rich and was able to gaze into his eyes when he fed and i worry about that part with the bf i suppose.

but since being pg with this bubs, i've had leaflets, 2 dvds, 2 lectures and a whole host of emails, the adverts on the tv, even in the waiting room at the hosptial there are posters everywhere and in the delivery suite i was in other day, i just find that when moms are under alot of pressure anyway, its an unbiased view.

and wondered what you lovely ladies thoguht

thank you for your responses

Thats a very valid point clare. When i had C i felt immese pressure to feed her but was so ill after i dont think i ever stood a chance ad in the end after my husband woke up to find me sobbing my eyes out i the dark at 1am i gave up but i did try pumping for 4 weeks which was exhaustig as i would feed her then sit for 45 mis pumping ad at 6 weeks id had enough and put her on formula. When i decided to put her on a bottle the relief was immense like a weight from my shoulders and whe i fed her i loved gazig ito her eyes and snuggling her up. I will proudly admit I ENJOY bottle feeding

This time i said i will be doing what I want ad no one else ad maybe cos of less pressure its going well but i freely admit i dont have total bfing joy. I like that i can do it ad am chuffed its going well so shes getting whats considered the best but im also just happy its free and a good diet aid! Yet eve though im bfing theres still pressure. Whe i told a friend (an earthmother type) i was pleased it was going well but didnt feel it was any more satisfying than bottle feeding she was shocked at me, seems i should be getting more joy from it. Guess i should be enjoying it more. But truth is cos i have to football hold Awen to feed i dont actually feel i get the same cuddle time with her and my fave feed of the day is her EBM in a bottle feed.

Im expressing for Amelia while shes in hosptal but I will be switching to formula when shes home. I cant handle the thought of a baby sucking on my boob it freaks me out! ( I do mean on MY boob, seeing other people doesnt bother me) So exclusively expressing is the other option for me and as selfish as this sounds after getting pg so quickly with Amelia after having Ollie, I just want my body back as mine now

I agree with Laura, if you show confusion/uncertainty in whether you want or not is when they get pushy or pile on the pressure. I've found that because I said I wanted to they backed off and left me to it.

I'm of the same mindset as Mario though, I am literally only doing it because of the cost and keeping my weight off. I'm finding it ridiculously stressful and hard work and the first week was absolute hell, my nipples were so sore and bleeding that much that when Dexter brought his milk back up it was pink , it's going well now and he is gaining weight very well but I'm not enjoying it.

I think its absolute bullshite that it helps with bonding or affects a childs behaviour, that in my opinion is all about how they are brought up xxx

I totally know what you all mean about pressure. I decided to put Alyssa onto bottles after her first feed as I just didn't feel as though I knew what I was doing with breast feeding, but whenever people ask me how I'm feeding her I feel really guilty for not breastfeeding.

On the other hand bottle feeding is going really well and she's doing fab with it. Xx

I said all along that I wanted to breastfeed so i suppose they pressure you less and in the end I felt most pressure from myself because it didn't go well and I felt like I'd failed when I had to combination feed him. I think it's a load of rubbish that they tell you almost every woman can do it because there are so many things that affect it.
I was very lucky in my ante-natal classes with the mw we had because she told us that she was paid to tell us all to breastfeed but all she was concerned about was having happy and healthy babies and mummies whether you bottle or breastfed.
My mum works as a family health nurse and she was showing me all the literature they get given to distribute to new mums and it was all about breastfeeding and there was nothing about bottle feeding. She feels that it's so biased towards breastfeeding that mums are put under terrible pressure and that helps no one. If you can do it and are happy to then great, but if you can't then baby will still be perfectly happy and healthy feeding from a bottle! xxx