Well, its become aparent that Tommy has stolen money from somewhere.

Its quite a long story but i'll try and keep it semi-short!

When i got back from Holiday my mum sent an envelope with £50 to my house, for my younger sisters school trips. The envelope has been on the side in my kitchen ever since.

Last week i was informed by one of the mums at the school that Tommy had given her daughter (his girlfriend) £15, the mum gave it back to me and when i asked tommy about it he just said he'd saved it up at his dads, that was a good enough excuse for me so i left it at that.

Skip to today, i go to the envelope to get the money for my sister and the money is no longer there, just an empty envelope. So i call Tommys dad and speak to Tommy. He denys that he took the money but i needed to ask to be sure. I think Told his dad about the £15, his dad said he knows there was not £15 at his house and then asked Tommy where he had got the money from.

Tommy has told his dad that the £15 had come from my house, that it was on our sofa and he took it. I hate to say this but i don't believe it, I cant be sure he took the money from the envelope but i know for sure we wouldn't just leave money on the sofa, so he has taken it from somewhere, My purse, oh'd wallet, his dad's wallet or the envelope i really don't know!

My issue is that he stole from someone somewhere and i now don't know where to go with this?

Obviously he needs a punishment, but a simple grounding just wont cut it on this occasion. I could really use some help on this one please guys, I feel so hurt, i'm sure most children do it at some point but when it's your baby things don't seem so straight forward

Wow, I really dont know what to say.

My first reaction as a parent would be one of utter despair and frustration. I wouldnt have a clue what to do, so im really not going to be much use.

I take it that you are 100% sure the £50 was in the envelope at the start (you saw it, etc.). In which case, its likely it came from that. Lets face it, he isnt going to give his gf all of the money, so £35 for him and £15 for her prob seems reasonable in his eyes.

Maybe some other mums can give some helpful advice on how to tackle this one so it doesnt happen again. I do know that I have heard people say that rather than being shouted at, if their parents showed utter dissapointment in them, it was enough not to do it again x

I think id be inclined to sit him down, talk about the seriousness etc etc (in a way you think he will listen), I would make him do 'chores' to repay to you what has been taken (to try and teach him that money has a value), and id show real disappointment.

What hurt me most as a child was knowing that my parents were really disappointed in me......they always reserved this for big issues, I can probably only remember about a handful of times that this ever happened.



Hugs hun xxx

Aww Hun, I'd say it's something a lot of kids do.

I'd sit him down and ask him again if he took the money, then say you know he did, he might tell you then.

I'd then give him a list of 15 jobs around the house to do to pay it back, if you think he took all 50 then 50 jobs. And Mark them off, no tv, no games till he's done all or some of them.

Do you think he could of given the rest away, also Hun don't want to distress you, but any chance he could be being bullied for money.

I'd have a look in his room for new things, and Id also get his dad to do the same, so he knows he can't get away from it in either home.

Sending you a hug, think you need it xx

I went into a school on Tues because one of the children had stolen some money (£300) from the office. They didn't know who it was so I went to assembly to show a presence and explain right from wrong and that they at 10years old could get arrested. But also to explain how proud we would be if the person owned up etc etc. It took a bit of a White lie about fingerprinting and by 12 two boys admitted having something to do with it. X

my cousins son had a habit of doing this , earlr morning and going to tescos and buying lego
i am not saying this is what you should do as i say this boy had a habit , punishments did not work ,so my cousin phoned the police and had him charged

personally if it were me i would certainly be listing chores to pay it back i would also show my disappointment and i would sit with my phone and threaten to call ( maybe pretend to ) the police , the fear of me doing that would have my kids telling me everything

Oh kell, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I went through this with charlotte when she was about 16. I'd left Pauls birthday money in a glass in the cupboard and weeks later when to get it for him it was gone £80! And then I started to connect this with other incidents Eg I thought I'd had £40 in my purse and when I'd looked I only had £20 etc!!!! She did admit it but only after I told her that if it wasn't her it must be her friends and I was going to see their mums, she soon confessed. I'd like to hope she's never done it since but to be honest I don't think I'll ever trust her!

But tommy is younger and I'd put it down to naughtyness and not fully understanding how bad stealing is. I'd make him suffer for a while and let him know how disappointed you are with him.


Hugs xxx

hey sweetie..thats a tough 1!

but like afew of the other girls said i would probably sit him down and have a talk and say you KNOW he took the money cos he was only person in the house other than u since u checked it (something like that) and im pretty sure he'l back down!
just make a point about what happens to people when they steal even if they think there doing a nice thing by giving some to some1 else (cos he had his heart in the right place giving some to his gf) btw not excusin it at all!!

and just explain if he tells you the truth them he'l just have 2 do chores 2 pay you back but if he doesnt then u will have 2 fone the police and they will come find out who did it?

hope your ok xxx

I deffo think a scare is the way to go. If you ring your local police station and explain the situation they will send someone out or invite you both down there and give him a right roasting, hopefully enough to scare him. In my experience you are not going to get the truth from him no matter what but maybe the police will make him think twice x

Well it wasn't the police that scared him into confessing, it was the threat that everything will be out of bounds until he told us what had happened, and that his punishment will start the day he tells the truth but until then he was not to do anything other than sit on his bed.

To say I am gutted is an under statement but I know he's not the only child to have done it, he will be grounded for two weeks, going to bed early until December and no pocket money or treats as well. I feel harsh but I could do worse I suppose. In total he took £65, we have the £50 back as he miraculously 'found' it but the £15 was spent!

Awww Kell. Can i just say though you have to give him credit for confessing. I know that doesnt give you much comfort right now but it does show he has a conscience which means it isnt in his nature. xxxxxxx

I think it's just one of those things that most kids do or at least think about to be fair, i'm sure if my mum ever left money lying around when I was a kid Id be tempted to take some.

I agree with Donna though the fact that he has confessed means he does know it was wrong and he wasn't prepared to lie about it which I think would have been much much worse!

I think its very common in kids hun to go through a phase of it. its probably out of interest "how much can I get away with" sort of thing.

although I can understand why your so devastated.

xxxx

i think u handeld that really well by the sounds of it! your punishment sounds fair as like u said it could have been alot worse! im sure he'l always remember it and wouldnt dream of doing it again! well done and just carry through with it xxx