Grow a pair or just zip it entirely!

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:12 am

I think it was me who used the term "fruitcake" because to be honest I don't think she has mental health issues I just think she is a liar seeking attention, and that mental health issues was just something she could hide behind!

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:20 am

I can admit when I am wrong or have fluffed up. Perhaps gone a bit too far with posting the pics, but was totally done with jest in my heart and not malice. What I mean by cryptic messages is leaving comments like.."there is someone on here who is a nutter...along those lines. I must of received a few dozen messages from people who thought it was possibly them...and I had no answers as no one else on here that I am aware of..thats honest. I don't want anyone to think I am a bully or don't believe their medical issues or tragedies.. I don't wish Natasha anything bad..only the best for her and her family. Will add that I totally love this site..the ladies on it..and want to keep the spirit of the forum to which it was created. xxx

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:44 am

Susan,Libby+1 wrote:: Well TBH I sat on the fence - not because I 'haven't got balls', it was mainly because I just didn't want to get involved and also because I like all of you and really didn't want to 'take sides'. I have messaged Natasha on FB to see if she was OK because I felt sorry for her an all the shit she was getting. I've got enough worries at the moment, I have my scan in just over a week which I am petrified about and just couldn't be bothered!!

I have no idea what you mean abut the cryptic messages thing though?

I just wish we could get past all of this poop and forget about it all, it's not worth going on about surely? x

i wasn't talking about anyone on here!

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:21 am

I did't say anything until late on

1. because the page had gone on almost 5 pages by the time i'd next logged in.

2. the same as Susan, i didn't want to take sides and i generally believe she was telling the truth, that may make me naive but i don't care.

Jen I love ya for your guts and boldness something i don't have

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:45 am

is this you then Natasha???

Guest

is this just bout the 1 person or can any one share a story about another matter and viewpoint ??

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:41 am

Lisa wrote:

Susan,Libby+1 wrote:: Well TBH I sat on the fence - not because I 'haven't got balls', it was mainly because I just didn't want to get involved and also because I like all of you and really didn't want to 'take sides'. I have messaged Natasha on FB to see if she was OK because I felt sorry for her an all the shit she was getting. I've got enough worries at the moment, I have my scan in just over a week which I am petrified about and just couldn't be bothered!!

I have no idea what you mean abut the cryptic messages thing though?

I just wish we could get past all of this poop and forget about it all, it's not worth going on about surely? x

i wasn't talking about anyone on here!

I know you weren't Lisa Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! - Page 2 Icon_smile

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:58 am

lauraplus5 wrote:: is this just bout the 1 person or can any one share a story about another matter and viewpoint ??

Huh? What you mean hun? x

Guest

i mean, i have been in a situation and i often wonder if i shoulda grew a pair at the time or just did what i did do and left it. can other people put forward their situations and get a view point ??

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 8:17 pm

lauraplus5 wrote:: i mean, i have been in a situation and i often wonder if i shoulda grew a pair at the time or just did what i did do and left it. can other people put forward their situations and get a view point ??

of course!!!

Guest

To be completely honest i didn't think there was much point in posted on that particular thread as i felt every one else had already said what i would of said. I only got involved when she started picking on char on fb.

Guest

would u ever go up against ur own mother??

i think some of u know i had a fight with my sister, a fist fight not a shouting one. my mum stepped in and started shoving me about. naturally my defence instinct kicked in and i shoved back and she started slapping/punching me about. so i kept shoving her away.

what would you have done?? rattled her back or cowered in the corner and took it. i sometimes think i shoulda just took it. u shouldnt hit or shove ur own mother. even thou i was holding ben at the time!!

she says its up to me to say sorry. yet how can i when im not the only one at fault. i attacked "her daughter" erm im her daughter too!! she then said, iv never been her daughter, im my fathers daughter... any ways, iv not spoke to any of them or seen my 2 kids that live with her, in almost 7 weeks. i spoke to megan for the first time yesterday in that long. my mums banned them from talking to me.

erm... i dunno if i have a point without a sob story!! basically. what would u do... grow a set and take FULL blame or just walk away

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:19 pm

lauraplus5 wrote:: would u ever go up against ur own mother??

i think some of u know i had a fight with my sister, a fist fight not a shouting one. my mum stepped in and started shoving me about. naturally my defence instinct kicked in and i shoved back and she started slapping/punching me about. so i kept shoving her away.

what would you have done?? rattled her back or cowered in the corner and took it. i sometimes think i shoulda just took it. u shouldnt hit or shove ur own mother. even thou i was holding ben at the time!!

she says its up to me to say sorry. yet how can i when im not the only one at fault. i attacked "her daughter" erm im her daughter too!! she then said, iv never been her daughter, im my fathers daughter... any ways, iv not spoke to any of them or seen my 2 kids that live with her, in almost 7 weeks. i spoke to megan for the first time yesterday in that long. my mums banned them from talking to me.

erm... i dunno if i have a point without a sob story!! basically. what would u do... grow a set and take FULL blame or just walk away

Aw hun, what a horrible situation to be in Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! - Page 2 Icon_cry

I really don't know what I would do TBH, I can't ever remember my mum hitting me, I can only just remember the arguements we had when I was a teenager, however if she hit me now - I would just walk away. It's your children that I feel for you about, unfortunately you cannot cut all ties with her as she has them. Obviously without knowing the full ins and outs I think I would apologise just for the sake of your children. Hope you can get it sorted xxx

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:54 pm

Laura chick I really feel for you too! You have such a lot going on at the moment! But I would apologise simply because you are missing out on seeing your kids, but that is the only reason! I don't know all the details but from what you have put I feel very strongly that your Mum and sister are in the wrong! And it's not fair on your mum to be stopping the kids seeing/speaking to you!

Xx

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:44 am

Awww Laura..I remember you telling me this and how awful. Standing up for yourself, even in family situations is very important. I have always been able to tell my family where the bear shits, and for that I have been treated like an outcast numerous times as no one else does it in my family. I cannot stand sweeping crap under the rug as it leave a heavy presence and makes everything all awkward and fake. Standing up to a mother who obviously has no bones at smacking you around when you are trying to defend yourself and your family is no different that standing up to a stranger who is guilty of doing the same. I have had my mother throw hot coffee at me..attack me in the kitchen because I broke a glass..lock me in my room with just undies on so I couldn't run off, tell me that she wished she never had me etc..but treat other siblings with kid gloves and baby them. Only for her to come to me years later apologizing for being too harsh with me because I was the oldest. I have never backed down and won't, if you don't stand up, you lose who you are and teach your kids to be door mats. Be proud of who you are hun! xxx

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:53 am

Jen I agree with what you say but sometimes you need to go totally against what you believe to get what is rightfully yours, in Laura's case a relationship with her kids! Normally I would advise the opposite but I think Laura should apologise and be able to see the kids and then deal with the issues after!

I hope that makes sense!!

Xx

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:55 am

I have sucked up and went against the grain just to keep within the family on numerous occasions and here's what I found..they treat you worse! I have two nieces that I probably will not see again for a long long time, and it is extremely painful to even think about it. If I were Laura, I would try to use the legal system to obtain access..dealing with her mom would be a mistake as it sounds like she would use those kids as pawns for punishment against her. If Laura doesn't "behave" she will hold the kids hostage. Or..she could let Ferg do the leg work and making sure she has access to her children, but doesn't have to deal with the family. He can pick up..and drop off so Laura and her family don't interact unless they have to for the children's sake. Sorry Laura..realizing I am talking about you in the third person. xxx

Guest

the worst of it is jen, ur right. i would get treated worse. my mum said im dead to her, im not he daughter im his.. meaning my dad. shes right about my fecking up the weans lifes.. but then, they could text if they really wanted too. i spoke to 1 of my sisters for first time in a while, havent spoken since thou, she said my daughter wants nothing to do with me cause i shouted at her gran. bearing in mind this was all on the day i had the hospital after my m/c.

my mum hates ferg, calls him a froob. so that comprimise wouldnt even work.

but if i have to say sorry, shouldnt my sister. she started it after all!

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:35 am

Awww chick! It sounds like your sister takes after your mum! I really don't know what to suggest other than going to court and sorting access out like that!

If you need to talk you know where I am Hun! I have just spent the last year and a half not speaking to my dad because of an arguement about his wife!

Xx

Guest

this is the balls thing. i know my mum wouldnt cope if i dragged her thru court. she would be an emotional wreck. can i do that to her?? course i wanna see my weans. theres no doubt bout that! last time we fell out thou it was over a year before she let me back in again. and that was over a very similar situation with the same fricking sister!!!

Subject: Re: Grow a pair or just zip it entirely! Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:38 am

You probably will never hear an apology from your sister hun. I don't expect one from mine, but I will no longer bend or sacrifice my happiness for the sake of everyone else's. If your mother denies you access to your kids because you had a falling out with her..it will come back to bite her in the ass later on. I know you are suffering inside wondering when you will see your kids, but because they are kids..they are being poisoned against you. You can write your mother a letter saying that - I want to see my children, even though we will probably never see eye to eye on other family matters, my relationship with my children is the only thing that matters to me. Please don't deny access or take away any more precious time that will result in my kids..your grandkids..to grow up and harbor resentments towards either of us. All that matters is the children. xxx

Guest

hmm... yeah i may well just do that. cut and paste haha Very Happy

!!

im a shite bag when it comes to my mum. i never go against her Surprised

Grow a pair or just zip it entirely!

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